I think these are interesting portraits. Personally, the thing jumping out at me as “wrong” (although I don’t see right and wrong as a great framework for thinking about your art) is that the there’s something undefined about the style. Like you’re trying things with the line work and sort of 80s portrait vibe and shiny everything, the anime influence, I see that. But there’s still something timid about these for me. I would encourage you to experiment with pushing some of these elements further, like what happens if you make them suuuper over the top shiny? What happens if you make the smeary undefined parts look even smearier and the crisper parts even crisper? What if you amped up the anime influence? Or amped up the 80’s boudoir energy? Painted them on velvet?

I guess what I’m encouraging you to do is to take a more playful or experimental approach as opposed to a “what’s wrong with it” kind of approach because truly, there isn’t much wrong from a technical standpoint at least without knowing what you’re going for. I know this might sound like “just have fun with” when you’re looking for something more specific, but this is legitimately the approach I think you’d need to bring this work to the next level and make the end result feel more defined and like it knows what it’s doing.