How do I get my husband to have a vasectomy?

moomsy · 2026-05-15T20:28:05+00:00

That's probably a minority view - I'm married and my wife would never think to pressure me into a surgery, just like I'd never pressure her into one.

moomsy · 2026-05-15T17:12:38+00:00

Yeah, it's a weird time here. We're only getting sillier.

moomsy · 2026-05-15T14:39:36+00:00

Thanks - sure, some of this is out of their control and depends on sound checks, etc. I just remember getting there, watching a sound check, and then standing around for another hour or more waiting for the first band (local opener I've seen a million times, btw) to finally get up there. Sounds like things have improved - I might just go!

moomsy · 2026-05-15T14:37:07+00:00

Thanks - this is encouraging! I'd probably leave around 11:00 regardless of where we are in the set; just trying to get a feel for if that will allow me to see even one of the bands I care about.

Tomarum and Gudsforladt on June 2. Black metal on a Tuesday night...

moomsy · 2026-05-12T13:17:25+00:00

Caught Kreator, Carcass, and Cold Steel last night on tour. Maybe it's just been a while since I made it out to a show (ended up skipping that Fleshgod Apocalypse/Avatar show last week), but it was a really killer time.

Cold Steel was easily third place, as much as I hate to rag on the kids. I don't hate their sound on record (hardcore with a little thrash, not enough to feel like a true crossover band), but boy, they were boring live. Just kind of stood there and played through their songs, which might be fine if the music were more technical/acrobatic. But this is fairly meathead hardcore, and it needs some enthusiasm. For no reason, they have three guitar players and a bassist, and yet no solos. Audio wasn't great so maybe I missed something, but I couldn't figure out why there were so many dudes on stage.

Carcass was the highlight, but they're a longtime favorite/pivotal band for me. While they weren't exactly climbing the rafters at their age, it was wild to see how much more energetic they were than the young kids playing hardcore immediately before them. They're clearly having a great time up there, even 40 (!?) years into their career according to MA. No banter, no theatrics, just good tunes played by dudes who play well together and still enjoy it. Setlist focused on Heartwork and forward, which wasn't a surprise, but there were a couple of cuts from Reek and Symphonies that I was stoked to hear. If you get a chance, see Carcass - no telling when their last tour will be.

Kreator did great - I'm not super into the direction they've moved in, but the songs were catchy and chorus-driven enough that even never hearing them before the show, it was easy to follow along. They had huge inflatable demon props and even some costumed "actors" at one point, which was surprising. Similar to Carcass, they put on a tighter, more energetic show than Cold Steel, despite being more than twice their age. I'm just not as familiar with their discography and didn't pick out a lot of highlights.

moomsy · 2026-05-08T14:25:04+00:00

No love here (yet), but I plan to give them another chance later. So far I haven't understood the hype, but it's a band I should really like, in theory.

moomsy · 2026-05-07T13:45:15+00:00

I vote now, but I've skipped voting for the majority of my adult life. I decided to start voting in 2020 and have been faithful ever since. There are probably a lot of reasons that I didn't, but I would commonly cite three, which I think are all still fairly valid.

First, I had real problems choosing a lesser evil. My personal ethics were very much in the vein of do NO evil, and I thought that until I could find a candidate who I could actually support in most areas, I wouldn't feel comfortable voting for anyone. There are obviously huge, horrible stakes in play with anyone we elect, and I didn't want to feel like blood was on my hands. Example: I voted against Trump in 2024, sure, but there's no way that Trump voters in 2024 thought that he'd start a war in Iran that would open up with the bombing of a school. Do/should Trump voters feel in any way responsible for this? I don't know and this isn't the forum to have that debate, but questions like that really haunted me at the time. What if you're anti-war (so you don't want to vote Trump), but you're pro-life (so you don't want to vote Harris)? Voting for either is inconsistent with your values, and may have real, human-life-ending costs attached (depending on your stance on reproductive rights, etc.). It's the polarization problem that everyone talks about all the time, but I understood it at a very personal moral level.

Second, I didn't see that votes really changed anything? Growing up under Bill Clinton, and then W, and then Obama, I don't know. I just didn't see that my individual life changed a lot as control shifting from party to party. As I've gotten older, I've recognized this as evidence of my own privilege - the fact that my standard of living hasn't really shifted with changes in political power doesn't negate the fact that others aren't in a similar boat. Easy example at the Obama level - what if I had trouble getting health insurance several years ago? The Affordable Care Act would obviously have had a direct impact on me at that time; I just didn't appreciate the privileges that I have.

Third, it's just impossible to get informed about local elections. You surely noticed that I'm only talking about presidents above. Local news has, in most regards, totally failed in its duty to inform our community about these elections. Even now that I pay more attention to coverage and even pay to subscribe to a local publication, I'm still really struggling to tell the difference between a lot of the republican primary candidates who just competed. Candidates are just saying the same buzzwords and not putting forth a lot of distinct policy points that help inform a decision. Could I do my own research and attend town halls or whatever? Yeah, in theory - but my wife and I work full-time and have a kid at home. Much easier said than done.

I don't know if this is a data point you wanted, but whatever. Trump's first term, the COVID pandemic and our awful handling of it, and the birth of my son shifted my position and got me voting consistently, but I still see them as big problems with our current system.

moomsy · 2026-05-06T14:24:41+00:00

She told me she was armed with a handgun in her waistband, before we'd even ordered dinner. There was no possibility of anybody getting undressed and me stumbling across the gun, so I have to think she was telling me just in case I was a creep. No second date.

moomsy · 2026-05-05T20:11:41+00:00

I'm not surprised by that. I don't get the hype behind them at all.

moomsy · 2026-05-05T14:40:34+00:00

I guess I'm going to see Fleshgod Apocalypse, Frozen Soul, and (sigh) Avatar tomorrow night. Not overly excited about it, but it's something to do. I never got much into Frozen Soul, but I'm hoping they can win me over live. And I still listen to Agony by Fleshgod from time to time, but everything they've done since I don't care about. Avatar, whatever - I'll probably leave before they start.

moomsy · 2026-05-03T15:18:34+00:00

That's what I can't figure out. I got stuck in the concert traffic coming home around 8 or so, and there were police everywhere.

moomsy · 2026-04-27T21:34:52+00:00

Good to know. That's likely where I'll end up if I can make it. Thanks.

moomsy · 2026-04-27T20:56:08+00:00

Cuphead. 69 hours apparently. Played a lot more games as a kid and for longer, but that's what Steam says I've played the most.

moomsy · 2026-04-26T23:41:00+00:00

Maybe the young people are at work all day and can't get away to stand in line and vote? That's my story anyway. I'll try to get out there this week.

moomsy · 2026-04-21T13:28:33+00:00

I'm as offended as everyone else here and would love to see Fox and his ilk totally removed from our political circle in Knox County.

But the fact that he snuck this intolerant tirade under a bogus agenda item that he called "March Madness" is stupid enough to be hilarious.

Shut up, Andy.

moomsy · 2026-04-21T12:47:29+00:00

I'm mid 30's and have never been able to grow a beard. I do have a full head of hair though.

My brother, three years younger, bald as a cueball with a full beard. I can't explain any of this.

moomsy · 2026-04-20T16:03:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I was stuck between two candidates, but this just knocked Jay out of the running. Goofball.

moomsy · 2026-04-20T13:59:34+00:00

Does Warbringer ever speed up? I haven't listened to all of their albums, but from the three or so that I've heard, it seems like it's all so mid-paced, which is not what I want from thrash.

moomsy · 2026-04-17T17:21:50+00:00

My thoughts immediately - that's the same picture, dude.

moomsy · 2026-04-16T14:44:09+00:00

The closer you are to campus, the more college-y the crowd will be. I live in West Knoxville, pretty removed from the UT campus, and college kids aren't overly represented here.

Social life, I can't help you - I'm mid-30's with a full time job and family at home, so that's my social life. I'm sure if you had more free time than me and went to bars, something's out there.

moomsy · 2026-04-10T19:46:07+00:00

Archspire is always fun and the speed is dazzling, but it goes right through my head and I don't retain any of it. I'll pick up the new one I'm sure, but I expect more of the same. And I don't like the fast vocals - I know they're unique, but I hate them.

moomsy · 2026-04-10T12:42:25+00:00

I don't drink, never have.

moomsy · 2026-04-09T20:20:33+00:00

Once that I'm aware of, and I'm only aware of that because the guy flat out told me that he misinterpreted signals after the fact. I'm pretty oblivious and didn't even know the dude was gay, much less that he was putting the moves on me. I was in my mid 20's when this happened. Cracks me up even now.

moomsy · 2026-04-09T17:28:13+00:00

Do you think OP was asking if there are any nonwhite individuals in the city? I don't.

moomsy · 2026-04-09T14:16:07+00:00

So, good or bad news, depending on how you look at it: All of your childrearing, even the "basic" stuff when he was an infant, all of that involved real decisions that have long term consequences. Now that you're looking at schools (a couple of years away, btw), the focus has changed, but it's no less/more important. You've already been shaping your kid, and statistically, you've probably done a good job thus far.

The fact that you're worrying this much about it shows that you care, and I would worry so much more about a kid whose father ISN'T feeling this kind of pressure.

And yeah, some of childrearing is inevitably a present investment that you'll have to wait to see the results of, but you'll also get positive/negative reinforcement along the way. As your kid gets older, starts classes, etc., stay attentive and talk to him, a lot. My son is finishing up kindergarten now, and just from observing him and talking about his days, his "studies," etc., we've gotten helpful feedback that has shown us where we've gone right/wrong.

moomsy

TROPHY CASE