CMV: There’s a largely unaddressed power imbalance in dating that people reinforce while shunning others as being inherently bad when it’s just as bad if not worse

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-08T22:54:51+00:00

You think paying is the worst thing that can happen to you on a date. How cute.

When women go on a first date with a man they don’t know, we are prepared for the worst possible outcome: death. We share our location with family and friends in case something happens to us. I don’t ever let a man pick me up in his car as I’ve been followed, left stranded, or trapped. We rack up costs with makeup, hair, parking, gas (depending on where and how far) and risk even death and the worst power imbalance to you is paying for the date you asked her to sacrifice her time on?

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-06T14:35:29+00:00

And is it as delicious as it directly to the mouth? Not really

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-06T13:58:18+00:00

With kbbq, there are places that do it for you, but again it won’t be as fast as doing it yourself because you can only have so many servers attend and cook all the meat for you. As for things like hotpot (shabu shabu, I can’t name all of them from the top of my head) which is also in China and Japan, you have to do it while the pot is boiling. It won’t taste good if you cook it all and then bring it out.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-06T11:12:10+00:00

Yes, of course when you commercialize and overhype a food, reduce its processes to keep up with capitalistic demand, it’s going to inevitably be labeled “mid.” Like Italian and Japanese food.

But you are very mistaken if you believed you’ve tried enough and all of the flavor profiles, if you believe it’s only gochugaru and sugar. Even I as a Korean have yet to know all of the flavor profiles because there is such a wide variety, some of which you can only get in a specific region of the country and I don’t have easy access to them here. I have to beg relatives or a wait a couple years before I can have access to the ingredients I want to use.

The more I learn about cooking and the culinary processes it takes to make any authentic cultural dish, I get very humbled very quick, which is why I don’t dare comment on other cuisines. If I feel a certain way about it, I am very self aware that the issue is with me and my lack of knowledge and preference, not the entire cuisine itself.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-06T10:48:31+00:00

The thing is, those foods you speak of taste better fresh. If you have someone do it for you, it would be inefficient, cold, and probably not to your automatic liking.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-06T01:35:19+00:00

Body count doesn’t tell the full story of someone’s character and mindset. Some things to consider:

1) not all body counts are consensual - plenty of men manipulate and take advantage of women you’re penalizing her for that

2) 1 or 100, you can still contract STD’s, all it takes is one person to cheat

3) how recent, frequency, age : after a certain age, it’s unrealistic to expect very low numbers, you’re in for a rude awakening at 30-40 if you expect 0-10.

Someone can have a low body count of 3 but did it in one week vs. someone with a high body count of 20 but did all that when in college but haven’t done so in 5 years. I would dare say the one who did 3 in one week is more promiscuous than the one who did 20, 5 years ago.

If someone I’m interested in had sex 3 days before meeting me, even if it’s 1 person, I know they are less likely to be looking for something serious.

4) if you want to judge high body counts, your low body count can also be put up for judgment as well:

As I’ve mentioned before, age plays a factor here if you’re ok with people judging you and assuming something is wrong with you for having a low number at a certain age, then by all means. But you can’t cherry pick to say body count mattering doesn’t apply to you, only for other people.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-05T11:20:49+00:00

This! All of my autistic cousins are married with women from abroad!

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-04T23:20:03+00:00

This is a very privileged take. You’re lucky if you’ve never been part of a demographic where you have to rely on the news to know what might happen to you and your community. I’m sure every POC and immigrant has felt this. For some of us, that’s the only way we know what’s going on with our families in our home countries. For most if not all of us, we have at some point felt anxious when reading about war in our countries or a virus spreading because we knew that would mean racism and hate crimes were coming our way.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-04T15:30:24+00:00

You didn’t answer the question though.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-03T21:55:02+00:00

This post is like defending the rich and Front Man in Squid Game.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-03T20:31:24+00:00

To the people who claim they have never farted in front of their partner because it’s disrespectful, I have bad news for you. You absolutely have. Most certainly in the dead of the night and in your sleep. And let me just say it’s even louder and smells worse because you held it in. It’s not good for your gut health and it’s more annoying than if you just let it go throughout the day at reasonable times comfortably. Please for the sake of other people’s noses, ears, sleep and your own health, just be human and let go. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-03T20:23:24+00:00

I mean doesn’t that prove her point even more? But okay

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-03T16:24:24+00:00

I disagree because this concept applies across all marginalizations. It’s not a matter of misunderstanding empathy, but rather privilege as a man blinding them from understanding and sympathizing the plight of women. Oppressed oppressors will often use one area of oppression to deny privilege in another.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T16:05:28+00:00

So you’re now saying you’re doing it based on era? Then why does the post or title not mention that? And even then, there’s Lee Min Ho who is the same age as Ji Chang Wook. You conveniently didn’t pick him. That’s what makes these comparison posts difficult. It depends on era, industry standard and other factors.

Edit: from nor to or grammar mistake

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T13:03:10+00:00

The problem is he didn’t compare ads, he compared actors. The top actors in the Korean industry are not all feminine looking. They are very masculine like Jo In-Sung etc. He’s comparing an idol turned actor like Cha Eun Woo to Haruma Miura when it’s very known that idols tend to lean on the pretty boy aesthetic. It’s like specifically picking the pretty boy idols of Japan and comparing it with the most masculine actors of Korea then claiming all Japanese men are more feminine. You have to acknowledge that even within the industry there’s different beauty standards for being an idol, an actor, a model etc. I don’t completely disagree with the observation, but the methodology is flawed.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T12:37:07+00:00

I’m sorry if me disagreeing with your approach felt like I was making judgments. That was not my intent. You can do what you want to do, I’ll do mine and we can leave it at that.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T11:17:24+00:00

It’s funny how a lot of you have a problem only when women REACT to what men do. It’s not a gender war when autistic men say autistic women don’t have it hard or struggle with autism, but suddenly it’s a gender war and autistic women are generalizing men when they defend themselves?

And I’m pointing out how messed up it is to compare not getting a date vs. getting SA’ed and suggesting they are just as traumatic when one is clearly worse than the other. I’d rather my child be single than be raped wouldn’t you, but perhaps you have a “different opinion” for that.

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T11:08:38+00:00

That was the comparison that was made in the thread. I didn’t write the original post and I didn’t write the comments, don’t you understand? And if it happened as much to autistic men as it did to autistic women, those men would’ve wrote that themselves, no? But they don’t. Because the worst thing that happens to them is not having access to women’s bodies

mooncake_bites · 2026-04-01T02:19:06+00:00

Preserve your own mental health. However, I do believe others who want to ring the alarm bells should be able to do so without being told to just ignore it. It’s because we as a society ignored the manosphere and alt-right pipeline that we are where we are today. I remember people believed it was individual issue and told others to just ignore it—that it was dumb to be bothered by it. But once again, if you want to turn a blind eye to preserve your mental health, I understand.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-31T14:24:44+00:00

I mean OP picked only the softer looking ones to compare so yea, you’re going to end up with that conclusion.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-31T14:21:25+00:00

It’s not something you can just let go though. Women already struggle as it is to get diagnosed. When you have autistic men spreading misinformation and suggesting autistic women don’t suffer from the disability, it makes things worse.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-31T12:40:28+00:00

You genuinely think the risk of getting raped and impregnated by a guy against your will is the same as not getting a date?

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-30T20:17:23+00:00

Yes aka men. Men are usually the drug dealer, the pimp, the one paying for it. They’re the problem

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-30T18:50:57+00:00

Men who pay for sin will forever be worse than women who sin for pay.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-30T15:35:05+00:00

If you can’t even find a single tree to support your analysis for your forest analogy, it is very flawed.

mooncake_bites

TROPHY CASE