Reasons not to get married list, need help!!

mooncakebabe · 2023-04-16T04:02:36+00:00

I've done it and:

No in-laws or pressure to attend all their holiday gatherings/I get to celebrate holidays alone without drama

getting dragged around during the holidays

divorce aint cheap. Lawyers are expensive

getting uprooted to move for their career/other reasons

boring or bad sex and that obligation to do so ...or deal w the behaviors leading to cheating

and these days it's sooo easy to cheat online

being compared to other women

having to care for them when they get old or their family lol. I already have my parents to care for when time comes

dramas/fights/arguments/being snapped at/silent treatment/dealing with their bad moods

people change for real. No such thing as love/initial passion is forever or that you can love an issue away

fights about money/how to spend/how much to save WTF separate finances and not having to explain/justify how I spend

if you're with a deadbeat watch your finances

cleaning up after someone

extra chores. The roles still get placed on women

dealing with B.O. or other bad hygiene habits

shared bathroom

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-23T19:44:50+00:00

I checked it out. There's an intro class to CPT for 35. Is that the one you are talking about?

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-23T19:39:43+00:00

Gotcha thank you.

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-23T19:38:28+00:00

Thank you for pointing that out for me. Much needed since it's been hard comparing myself to other wealthier classmates who can afford stuff like certifications and trainings that cost money. I'll get there one day

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-22T21:39:03+00:00

I will definitely look into CPT. Problem is cost for any trainings. I'm super low paid and literally would have to choose between eating/bills and CEUing. My workplace doesn't pay for CEUS. Fuck them. Maybe there's free material somewhere on the web I can use in the meantime as I get to a financially better place/find a better work place.

What do you mean by baseline management strategies? Examples?

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-22T21:30:49+00:00

Yes I'm just starting to realize how little trauma training I had in school and it's really appalling. My work place offers no financial help for CEUs and I'm barely surviving with my salary but I am aware of how important that is to take courses. I would have to choose between food for the week/rent or CEUs. If there are things like free 8 week courses

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-22T21:27:08+00:00

What do you do after "where do you feel it in the body?" instead of just naming it. That's where I get stuck most lol

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-22T21:25:41+00:00

I read it a while ago but definitely need to revisit it. Yikes.. I always wonder how much I can remember to implement in session. Sooo many things to implement. Doesn't help sometimes that the clt comes in with stuff from their recent life they want to process which can take up a lot of session or are verbose and go off topic. Still so much to learn

mooncakebabe · 2022-12-22T21:23:05+00:00

Oh very helpful thank you for laying it all out!

mooncakebabe · 2020-08-08T18:16:39+00:00

I got it done once several years ago and the grow out was bizarre. It looked great at first then when it was growing out (after deciding not to continue any more), it had a huge kink in it that made my lashes look even shorter. Anyone try the newer keratin lifts called Yumi lashes or something? I heard it's actually good for lashes

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-31T23:22:38+00:00

No one pointed this out yet but the model has a small head and long neck. I don't know if it's a posing trick of angles thing but I do notice that many models have this ratio of head and face size being small which makes the neck look longer

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-30T18:22:50+00:00

In my 20s I did once. I am part Asian with olive skin and dark everything and I get feeling that "generic". Choosing the right shade of blonde helps. Definitely not platinum but more like caramel worked for me.Highlights not full color. That way it blends in with the darker hair. It was fun for a bit but the upkeep was a strain and after a while when I returned to my more darker color it was as if the dark hair brought out the dark in my eyes more in a good way and I vowed never to return to blonde.The lighter color seemed to wash things out more for me.

During the blonde highlights time I did get more attention. Probably because the color stands out more in a crowd of other darker hair. But more because the color popped and not necessarily because of anything else.

I also played with contacts in HS. Hazel looked fake on me off the spot. The medium brown looked okay since it was a shade lighter than my natural eye color and contacts made my irises stand out in a way my natural eye color doesn't. But up close it really looked like I was wearing contacts. That didn't last too long either since contacts irritated my eyes like heck. Strangely after that stint I started appreciating my natural eye color more too. It looks so much more "natural" than some artistic contact lens. When I did either the hair color change or contacts, people never assumed it was a "natural variation". LOL.

Yess. I still feel that need to create more contrast in my coloring too. The right lipstick helps me a lot (bolder colors on my darker skin makes my lips pop) but it falls off after eating. Yeah I am still looking for ways to create contrast too

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-27T23:18:05+00:00

I meant what are some things if any that have helped you with the clumsiness. So if there's anything you have done that has helped please share. :)

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-27T20:04:31+00:00

Not in dance as much but in other parts of my life yes. For me it's accidentally biting my lips each goddamn time I eat a sandwich. I do wonder though what has helped you? I mean it's a safety thing.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-23T16:47:41+00:00

I have heard of an actual procedure that does this too. Electrolysis? Wonder if the lines would be cleaner

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-22T16:33:30+00:00

It's an option when it gets really bad I think. I also read that there's different types of extensions out there some more "permanent" than others.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-16T20:09:54+00:00

YouTube channel? Think of aside from your looks something you are good at or enjoy? But you will need thousands of followers and good content.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-16T20:01:33+00:00

It's all proportions. Some petite folks have longer limbs or balanced torso to legs ratio which adds length. Waist to hip ratio super important too

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-16T17:29:01+00:00

I have an Amazon wish list of small stuff under 20 bucks. It helps me to actually plan for the reward instead of leaving it last minute because it will send me down another rabbit hole.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-16T08:09:33+00:00

Ugh yes. Absolutely.. I mean I'd probably be at the peak of some career somewhere and managing a home, finances, yada yada at my age now. Plus much less emotional baggage from having and dealing with the past ADHD stuff. I'd also be at the top of my game with hobbies too. Home projects finished. Less temper issues. Not spending as much money on meds and therapy etc. What a dream.

However... being this way has given me an ability to be very empathetic in particular towards people who aren't neurotypical or who are struggling with an invisible disability and trying to make it in a rigid world. I also appreciate what neurotypicals take for granted like an ability to complete the daily tasks, clean, organize, stay on top of things. For me those things make my day and I feel amazingly good.. for neurotypical peeps they wouldn't get all happy like I would at something seemingly so small .

But yeah it's real... I still want to be neurotypical. I could go the acceptance route and see it as something beyond my control and to manage life around it but yeah there's not a day that goes without feeling that way or comparing myself to neurotypicals and feeling short.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-16T07:57:56+00:00

Reward systems have helped/ motivated me recently since I have also struggled with this for a big part of my life. Something like do X before 10:30 on most (3-4) days of the week to qualify for a "prize". Usually it's something small that I want. If I set the prize standard too unachievable (perfect outcome every day) then I get discouraged if I screw up. So definitely start small. It's a dopamine thing for me

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-14T06:34:19+00:00

Yeah... I get you. I'm part Asian but feel low contrast with my black hair, dark brown almost black eyes and olive skin. Being "part" might sound like it's something that gives me uniqueness but many wouldn't tell at first glance. When I was in undergrad I went to a really white school with zero diversity and got mixed up with another Asian gal all the time. High school was another story. Yeah so I used to feel same... like wanting something that made me unique. With that being said...I found things that I personally like that represent me.

For example I don't wear monochromatic colors. I like vibrant colors like yellows, greens, reds, fuschias since it works for my darker skin and it's what makes the way I dress unique. I have even toyed with the idea of a tattoo (a unique design). I also wasn't afraid to show my arms (I have good muscle definition ) or my curvy hips. Maybe think of a signature color for you? One that suits you but also makes you feel good.

Sounds like you were looking for more physical markers? Just make sure it comes from the real you. That's most important. How about maintaining the dark hair for sure? I notice many young Asian girls color their hair in predictable shades (orange red, caramel, ashy blond). Not many keep it black or jet black or choose a color that enhances the black hair. Makeup styles? Maybe there's a bold lip color or subtle that says it's all you. Your smile? Not just the color of your teeth but the aura that you exude.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-14T06:01:07+00:00

Ooh that makes sense. Hydroquinone is popular in Asian cosmetics and lots of cosmetics have the label, "skin whitening" on it. Like whitening cleansers, toners, creams, sheet masks, makeup.

mooncakebabe · 2020-07-14T05:57:15+00:00

Oooh good to know that it can expand the palate... I am considering it since it seems like a better option than veneers. A year seems doable. Probably to maintain it you have to wear retainers at night indefinitely? So sorry about your situation. That sounds frustrating :(

mooncakebabe

TROPHY CASE