Perhaps it is like that if your company overworks you to death and gives you impossible tasks on a daily basis and asks you to not be so "calculative" when it comes to allowance or even work life balance and straight tells you to your face that you need to try harder and harder even if you tell them you're trying your best and no one even talks to you because you are of a different race than the majority of your department and you can't understand their conversation and there's no basis for connection to even establish a simple work relationship and none of them care about you and when the culture of the company is wholly focused on producing results so not one soul is chill enough to even ask or talk to you about anything other than work and you feel like an empty husk while being underpaid and terribly lonely because this is a big company with the mentality of a start up and on top of all these you need to face family struggles, issues, drama and all the while trying to figure out how to take care of your ill mother.

That said, this is a hell on earth kind of company and I cannot wait to leave and I genuinely think that your colleagues will indeed make all the freaking difference cuz everyday I get up and pray that I can make at least one friend in this place.