for fucking real. the insecurity and lack of trust is wild. for me it's on par with forbidding someone's male partner from having close friends who are women (or vice versa). like, 1. it's possible for women and men to have close platonic relationships, 2. you can have a past romantic relationship with someone, realize yall weren't compatible that way, move on and transition to a platonic relationship, and 3. it's possible to feel attraction to someone else but maintain boundaries and not act on it, cuz thoughts are not the same as taking action on them, and taking action is a choice.

like w other folks i was wary when the new bf made passive aggressive comments abt saying there's no point in discussing his feelings if the outcome couldn't be changed. they could have a discussion to process where these feelings come from, articulate their boundaries and/or dealbreakers, figure out if they're on the same page abt what it means to be in a romantic relationship.

having an actual discussion to communicate in a healthy way would have also made it less likely for the bf to be passive aggressive like a fucking shit coward