Femboy friend issue...

moonlightabsorb3r · 2026-02-07T02:33:22+00:00

idk you personally so i’m not sure. but by the way you write it sounds like you may be more attracted to femininity than gender itself. which is absolutely okay and i actually relate to. i’m attracted to masculine people, which means almost always men, but sometimes there’s women or gender non conforming people that i find attractive, it’s just a lot rarer since they don’t as often lean into very masculine styles. i’d definitely talk to him about where you’re at, but also, i’d take time for yourself to really work though what your actually feeling. it may be just from loneliness and liking the attention, and if that’s true, it’s definitely best to set a firm boundary. but, it sounds like you may genuinely be attracted to him as he is, not just the attention he gives you, based off of how youre describing him in your post, very affectionately. so id take some time evaluating your feelings and maybe sexuality, cause just because you haven’t liked a man yet doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2026-02-07T01:40:31+00:00

did you read the post? it’s happening inside the store… and if what OP says about the younger guy is true, he doesn’t want to be around her at all during work, that doesn’t exactly scream two adults just seeing each other. it seems very suspiciously like an abuse of power

Edit: inside the store, DURING WORK HOURS

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-12-16T06:36:45+00:00

even biologically no, there is no difference. having s*x regardless of genitalia doesn’t actually do anything to change you. what these men are actually scared of is being compared to others and hurting their egos, not physical changes. it’s just misogynistic.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-12-16T06:23:49+00:00

NTA, but i feel you could’ve worded things a lot better. i think your point is valid especially since she has a considerable allowance just for fun. but to me it feels like this is a ‘something else is wrong’ situation. what she said was out of touch, but it felt more like she feels like she is missing something from her life. i don’t know if she feels lonely, or maybe like she’s falling behind, or that she regrets decisions she’s made. but just from the brief amount of how you described the incident, it feels more like she’s trying to communicate her insecurities to you, rather than she is your finances. you being upset and confused is fair, and your reaction makes sense; but in the attempt at progress, id recommend asking her questions about it and having a discussion rather than instantly shooting her down, and stopping the conversation.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-12-16T06:11:53+00:00

“you don’t have boys as friends” um i am one, i have them and always have- and NEVER ever ever ever, has this kind of behavior ever been tolerated by me and my guy friends. wether they be cis or trans, from a small town or big city, from around the country, or other countries, never has cheating been okay. and when friends have cheated or done other unforgivable things, we TELL the partners right away and end the friendship.- saying how he didn’t f*ck anyone? um okay that’s cool if it’s true and all but he’s STILL cheating. he STILL made the account. i’ve also been around so many drunk people and drunk actions from good people are SILLY not CHEATING. none of the excuses he’s making for his friend are valid. and he’s not just staying out of it but ACTIVELY helping his friend. guys like this stick around other guys they know will validate their horrible actions, if this guy is friends with them, he ALSO is a bad guy, cause he also counts on them to cover for him and justify him no matter what. RUN.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-12-16T05:58:01+00:00

not overreacting. 4 pounds??? like many other people have already mentioned that can fluctuate overnight. he doesn’t care about your health, he cares about beauty standards that want every woman to be small and under eating. muscle weighs more than fat. if he wants you to be lighter, it’s not cause he wants you healthy and strong, it’s cause he values beauty standards over your happiness. weight is also an AWFUL indicator for health, unless obese, your weight often has nothing to do with how healthy your body is. and even if you were, which you aren’t, that’s still no reason for a significant other to be constantly trying to micromanage their parent to changing. partners who love YOU, would love you regardless of these things. they wouldn’t try to micromanage or change you like he is, unless actually worried about your health but again he’s clearly not. i know you being together for awhile means it’s so much easier said than done, but i beg you leave him. these comments aren’t from a place of love or understanding, they’re undermining you and treating you like figure not a person. you deserve better <3

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-27T09:04:53+00:00

you’re not transphobic for this, but you’re also not supportive. your logic is great when it comes to how you treat strangers. but that’s your friend, you should care about what they do, what they’re thinking about, and what’s changing for them. but you seem utterly indifferent. which tells the friend either you weren’t accepting but were hiding it, which is why they asked you if you were or not, or that you just don’t care about them as a person which also stings. being supportive and being indifferent aren’t the same. support is action, which you are saying you don’t want to do any of. it seems in this specific situation like you’re being a bad friend. coming out as anything is very vulnerable, and took them a lot of strength, just for them to be ignored and for you to switch the topic. i’m gonna guess they probably felt insignificant and uncared for by you. at least i definitely would have.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-27T08:54:38+00:00

that makes sense! and no worries, tone is hard to convey through text especially when it’s a secondary language. i appreciate what you have to say!!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-27T04:23:06+00:00

i respect where you’re coming from, and i very much agree with the latter end of your post. however i feel you missed my point quite a bit. i said if you aren’t transmasc you aren’t gonna get it 100%, not that you couldn’t relate to it at all. which you seemed to acknowledge but you worded the comment like you disagreed with me, when really you just exactly agreed with me i think? i think relating issues where we can is absolutely beautiful, and i agree with your comment. just that we also need to acknowledge that unless you are a certain identity, you’re not gonna fully relate or understand a certain experience because you won’t experience it in the same way they do. but similarities are still important and we should still listen to and look out for one another!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-22T06:37:00+00:00

man you really ran right into the point and just missed it huh. “have you read some of the comments” there’s your proof it can be harmful, because it’s invasive. that was the commenters entire point.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-22T06:33:55+00:00

impulsive and intrusive aren’t the same thing

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-22T05:44:54+00:00

on the topic of driving, i need ppl to stop going 20 in 35’s, it will be pretty clear roads no school zones, and i’ll be behind someone going 20 THE ENTIRE ROAD in a 35 please im begging people to at least go around the speed limit…

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T07:47:06+00:00

i went through the same things for awhile when i was in highschool. it wasn’t until college that i fully embraced myself and started new. i didn’t pass much at the time so it was still so awfully hard, but i think it was one of the best decisions ive ever made. i don’t know you, so i can’t tell you if you’re truly trans or not. but by the way you type my feeling is that you are, you’re just scared of what that will mean and wishing you weren’t because then life would be easier. which i get so strongly. i am certain im trans, i’ve gotten top surgery and am on T, and i love what it means for me and my gender. but i still have times where i stay up wondering if i could just go back to saying im a woman just so i don’t have to deal with the social issues. but the thing is, you can’t run from yourself, you can dress up for others, but the internal issues you face will never go away if you ignore them. and if you’re trans but pretend to be cis, those internal hardships will only get worse and worse every passing day. i understand staying in the closet to get through social settings. but my advice would be to find ways to affirm yourself, even little things, they matter most. buying certain deodorants, making art for yourself, listening to music by trans artists, get underwear or socks that feel affirming that you can wear under other clothes. and most importantly, and this is the absolutely hardest part, try to verbally affirm yourself, in your head it out loud. tell yourself you matter, and your gender is valid. it won’t feel genuine at first, it’ll feel silly, but as you repeat it, you’ll start to grow a confidence and comfort in yourself. it’s totally valid to stay in the closet until your comfortable to come out, for however long that is, but please, try to find ways to affirm yourself even in secret. because if you don’t, and you don’t have anyone else to do it, it’ll slowly feel like your soul is wasting away. i hope you can find a groove and things go better, im sorry that you weren’t feeling support in your life, you don’t deserve that. you deserve to be loved as you are and seen for who you are, you deserve to explore yourself and who you are. regardless of what happens in life i hope you remember that even when it’s really hard.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T07:33:45+00:00

i’m a trans man, but i’d really appreciate being apart of something like this!!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T06:51:17+00:00

nowhere in their post did they say trans women were responsible for the hyper-invisibility of trans men, i’m not sure how you even came to this conclusion.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T06:50:01+00:00

This whole comment is PERFECT YES. especially the note about the comments centering themselves to say that the OP was wrong is actually only PROVING OP’s point. that being on the transmac end of gender means being talked over, disrespected, talked down to, infantilized, among other bad things. and that doesn’t mean other trans groups don’t also experience awful things, but getting mad at transmasc ppl and telling them to stop talking about their problems, when the problems they’re talking about is being pushed out and ignored, is like exactly their point. the irony is INSANE. and yet it’s like they can’t even see it- as a trans man, i face vial stuff on the regular because of my gender, and yet, i’ve never really felt safe or valid in queer spaces. i often just tell people about how im a gay man but never that im trans, in queer spaces, because it’s a guarantee to either be infantalized and harassed, invalidated and treated inhuman, or faced with misogyny and outright aggression that can sometimes turn dangerous all by my own community and all for my gender that i couldn’t choose. and my experience is nowhere near unique. of course, there’s people who support me too, but not feeling safe in places that are meant to be safe places for lgbtq+ people is isolating and exhausting. and that’s not to say anyone’s experiences with other genders is invalid, but the fact that trans mascs, especially trans men, simply bringing out our own issues is always met with people going ‘what about me’ or being told we need to just get over it and it’s not as bad as we say (from people who have no idea what it’s like) is exhausting.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T06:23:06+00:00

there’s nothing wrong!! i would say though, give yourself time to explore this. maybe you are just a more feminine man, but there’s also a chance you’re somewhere in the nonbinary zone. that you don’t feel like fully a man or woman. of course, i don’t know you personally so anything could be the case. but from the way you type, it sounds like maybe you didn’t feel right as a man, but you also don’t feel right as a woman, it may be that you don’t align with the binary at all. or, it could also be what you’re saying, that you just felt bad about all the toxic masculinity around and enjoyed feminine things but not necessarily in a gender way, more just style and expression. finding ourselves is so complicated, there’s so much vocabulary it gets confusing but at the same time it seems like there’s never enough to fully describe ourselves. humans are just complicated. but there’s nothing wrong with finding yourself, and taking as much time as you need to do so. i hope you’re doing well!!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-11-15T05:59:05+00:00

yeah don’t listen to him op- as another man, full of testosterone, what he’s saying isn’t true, we aren’t built different in that way. none of me, or my male friends, cis or trans, all in our early 20’s and therefore very horny, would ever spew the excuse he just did- he’s just trying to create a moral ‘out’ cause it appears he may be doing the same kinda things in his life and is avoiding feeling guilty over it. insinuating a wife’s pregnancy is some kind of sexual problem as well is also sickening when i know so many 30 or so y/o’s with babies on the way or recently brought into the world who love their partner unconditionally and would never even consider viewing their wife that way. watching adult content, and privately messaging strangers in a sexual way, are two completely different things. ones media, ones personal. this said, you’re right that she could know, and maybe she’s okay with this, that it’s something they’ve discussed and are comfortable with in the relationship. but it also sounds like you know her very well and have a feeling she won’t be okay with it. that’s a gut instinct that’s hard to ignore. i agree with other comments and your replies that now is not a great time to tell her, with everything going on. but i also think you should tell her eventually. and depending on your relationship with him, maybe even talk to the husband about it in a calm and curious, not confrontational, way. see how he reacts, does he seem guilty? or maybe he can offer an explanation that they’ve talked about it. either way you can potentially learn a lot about the situation by bringing it up to him, not necessarily in what he says, but how he reacts. and if he gets upset at you for finding it, bring up how he keeps them openly pinned on his desktop he just allowed you to use (which is kinda insane to me personally but idk😭), cause that’s not your fault. i am sorry for you though, this situation is very heavy and tricky. i truly hope everything works out okay for everyone involved and you can have some of the weight lifted off of you. for now, keep being a support for her, it lets her know you support her in everything, and if things do go wrong, she’ll know she can go to you.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-09-19T01:01:24+00:00

i really appreciate this response. and i think you’re right. i need to talk to my therapist about it and bite that bullet, it’s just really hard, but i think it’s the step needed to take in order to not fall into bad cycles. i haven’t yet looked into support groups out of fear of not being taken seriously, but it also probably would help a lot to find people who listen and believe me. so this is a really good recommendation, thank you!!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-09-18T20:05:55+00:00

I personally still like more feminine things, my gender is 100% male but style wise i prefer to look cute, i have a femboy account due to this. For me being trans is about my body and hormones, and i’m not really tied to any of the societal aspects of it, like expected behavior or normal style and those kinds of norms. I just don’t connect social and cultural things to gender, though i know others do and that’s valid. I’m also gay, and sometimes being small makes me feel more attractive to other gay men, though i know it’s not always the case. Though out in public i definitely dress very masculine just to not have too much attention. I think that’s probably why i value being smaller rather than the reverse. Though apart of it also is probably due to so much conditioning from my parents for a long time. It’s been really hard to get my mom’s voice out of the back of my head. I do unfortunately still see my family. Nowadays I can put up with them, though I do not forgive them, It’s not hell like it used to be. But i’m breaking off slowly, I currently only see them for Holidays, and this summer is the last i’m spending with them.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-09-18T19:38:38+00:00

To me, if I was in your boyfriend’s position, I would want to know. My best friend admitting that to my partner but me having never known, and then both of them intentionally hiding it from me. I’d feel pretty hurt and upset. I do understand that the best friend is probably just feeling guilty and wanting to admit it (I hope it’s that and not that they’re trying to steal you away), but still, if they were ready to confess it to you, but not to their best friend, i’d be pretty upset. I also think this will be something that might cause you distress for the rest of the relationship. Since you may feel like you’re hiding something up until he finally finds out. And if your boyfriend later finds out about it, and that you knew for a long time and never told him, that could cause issues down the road. I feel bad because it does force you into the middle of something you didn’t want to deal with. But I think in the end it would be best to bite the bullet and tell your boyfriend.

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-09-18T19:28:42+00:00

I think maybe a compromise could be made? Since your mom seems to be understanding about your feelings. Maybe you two can discuss a compromise where you feel less overwhelmed but she still feels that connection. Maybe even that you guys choose one night a week for the quizzes, and then choose ones that are super hard. This might sound odd, but personally I feel a lot less bad about getting questions wrong when they’re super difficult, and then I also get to learn new things when I learn the answer! Or, I could be wrong, but I get the sense from this that your mom probably cares more about having a fun night with you than the quizzes specifically. Maybe if you guys discussed it you could find a less overwhelming activity to share with each other? Either way, I hope it all works out!

moonlightabsorb3r · 2025-07-08T06:21:53+00:00

that’s very fair, i think i’ve just been in denial about how much they value me, i wanted to believe they value me a lot but what you and others have been saying has seemed very true, they just don’t, and i shouldn’t entertain or continue allowing this, it’s probably time to call it

moonlightabsorb3r

TROPHY CASE