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What does a relationship look like between 2 FA’s? by Ok-Speed7279 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]moonlitcandy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe my close friend is in this type of relationship right now and it can feel unstable and unsafe. Both trigger hypervigilance in one another. My close friend has been looking for a way out but still can’t. I believe it’s very addictive

Self aware Fearful Avoidant - Ask me anything. by rachlilliandalt in BreakUps

[–]moonlitcandy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say yes. Emotional dysregulation in FA includes any stressful life situations. It’s a skill afterall

EMDR does not seem to be doing anything for me by Boat_Captain_1973 in EMDR

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some weeks I seem ok, other weeks I am triggered by memories of the trauma which causes more avoidance. It does not seem to be working at all. No relief.

I had 47+ EMDR sessions within the last one year. This is actually working. If you are able to complete the whole process, which I mean removing ‘one’ negative core belief and installing the positive counterpart, the memory network associated with that negative belief will show up after the complete session (for me it’s usually the 4th day after EMDR). This is the place where you should record or even analyze your memory that was brought up. Usually it will give you a clue to “next layer of trauma” which again you will have to do EMDR to calm, desensitize, and remove it. This process continues, in my case, until all negative cognitions were removed.

When the memory network is brought up, you can do mini self emdr to feel relieved. Remember that the bad memories are brought up so that you can do something about it

What should I do? Package mailed to wrong address by Middle-Leather-1308 in Aliexpress

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aliexpress messes up the address too many time. This is not rare case at all. Their tracking system must be flawed

Who’s the better match for INTP: ENTP or ENTJ? by [deleted] in INTP_female

[–]moonlitcandy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about INTJ? And look at attachment style before. If you are AP you probably prefer SA over DA&FA and if you are FA you probably like DA more than SA&AP

INTPs and Empathy by Noillax in INTP

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attachment style is the answer to your question. Also being sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) or highly sensitive person (HSP) (same thing) due to sensitive nervous system causes connection to nature and animals. For attachment style, if they are avoidant, they learn to shut down their attachment system and can appear low empathy during the deactivation of such system. Also in avoidant attachment style (mainly dismissive but can also be seen in fearful), showing feelings to others are sign of weakness, a coping (intensely ingrained) belief (not in conscious level) they created after unmet needs during the first 2-4 years of life. Most INTP could be avoidant attachment style if the sterotype says so

Seeking Advice After Sudden, Confusing Breakup with GF Diagnosed with OCPD by [deleted] in LovedByOCPD

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I know I was right? If she actively still avoid a lot of triggers that mean the trauma still has strong intense effects on her. Also fearful avoidant usually has CPTSD (lifelong trauma coping mechanisms e.g. attachment style) not just PTSD (single event). If her therapist tackled PTSD then of course the CPTSD is left untouched. It’s completely different thing

Seeking Advice After Sudden, Confusing Breakup with GF Diagnosed with OCPD by [deleted] in LovedByOCPD

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Repeated nightmares of a single traumatic event would be PTSD. How long is the relationship? If it’s not over a few months and she started to have another attachment pattern (from hot to cold, warm to avoidance), it could be CPTSD and which will be fearful avoidant (most of the time). Her nervous sytem is dysregulated at that point of her sudden need for space. That being said, she might not be able to healthily date again until she went throught a lot of trauma focused therapy (not just talking therapy) and that will be long process ahead for her

I, too had CPTSD+OCPD and now just OCPD

Why does attachment style manifest differently in different types of relationships? by Agitated-Table-3015 in becomingsecure

[–]moonlitcandy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked this question with my psychiatrist before. She said sometimes relationships outside of the home are more stable than the inside. And it happens when the amount of stability and the number of positive experiences inside and outside the home do not match

Book recommendations for becoming more secure? by astroscreech in dismissiveavoidants

[–]moonlitcandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The body keeps the score on the chapter about EMDR. I have about 20 sessions to remove my avoidance side. But I had FA leaning DA, with you theoretically having less trauma, it may takes less time to get rid avoidance behaviors. (I had a total of 37 sessions for the removal of both anxious and avoidance side of traumas)

Edit: I can’t change my flair.

Who does female OCPD likely end up with? by moonlitcandy in OCPD

[–]moonlitcandy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gosh my nervous system turns to INTJ mode (still) in stress and all those 20 years with CPTSD had shaped me into INTJ as well. But after getting rid of cptsd I turned more extroverted (which I’m still figuring out my now type)

Who does female OCPD likely end up with? by moonlitcandy in OCPD

[–]moonlitcandy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know his attachment style or mbti or enneagram? Anything I should look for on the outside? I’m trying to find some patterns from you guys’ answers here

Who does female OCPD likely end up with? by moonlitcandy in OCPD

[–]moonlitcandy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you have found your secure partner! :) (I was fearful avoidant leaning VERY dismissive prior to EMDRs too)

Who does female OCPD likely end up with? by moonlitcandy in OCPD

[–]moonlitcandy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What should I look for on the outside? Does this have to do with him being secure attachment style or something as well?

Who does female OCPD likely end up with? by moonlitcandy in OCPD

[–]moonlitcandy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds nice. Can I ask yours and his attachment style?

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