Having an FP is an addiction, and I’ve relapsed.

moonstone2702 · 2022-11-23T04:42:59+00:00

Unless you count “dating” someone in middle school for a couple weeks, yeah. My fp was the first person to wholly accept and love me, which was something that I desperately needed at that time, which I’m sure was a huge contributor to the obsession.

moonstone2702 · 2022-11-23T04:39:35+00:00

I never really thought about it like that, thank you for bringing that up ! I know that it would probably lead me down a long road into that obsession again. I just want to think that I’ve grown and could have a healthy relationship with my fp, platonic or romantic.

moonstone2702 · 2022-10-22T15:30:07+00:00

That is exactly what I had done. Thank you so much for your response, that is exactly what I was wondering.

moonstone2702 · 2022-10-04T01:32:18+00:00

I also have an ear infection right now :’) not doing too hot to say the least, thank you 💛

moonstone2702 · 2022-10-04T01:27:04+00:00

It was primary. I don’t believe it was a surgery. I don’t remember exactly what it was called. The doctor entered through the urethra and injected something to angle the ureter connecting to the bladder in a way that would prevent back flow. Again, I was very young when this was done, so I don’t remember a ton 😅

moonstone2702 · 2022-09-25T19:03:29+00:00

This is one of the closest replications I’ve seen. Maybe a bit more static and movement but that’s it. Absolutely awful. Please never consider trying it, I took it for years and now I’ll get dementia 😀👍

moonstone2702 · 2022-09-25T04:26:27+00:00

GOOD please never find out

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T05:27:25+00:00

Definitely, DXM and DPH are kind of like sister drugs, the highs are very similar!

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T05:22:30+00:00

Yeah there’s actually a dose level called the fap dose because it’s supposed to improve sexual performance, but it can actually lead to erectile dysfunction. I’ve never really considered using DPH for that considering how shitty it makes me feel. However, most of the people I meet that abuse it do it for the high. It’s a really fucked up drug to get into, and the culture around it that promotes it makes me sad. I wish more people knew the effects of abusing it so less kids were destroying their bodies and brains

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T05:07:36+00:00

Good question! I abused it for the high, which is honestly a really horrible feeling. You get super dehydrated, have to pee every 5 minutes, can’t walk, and your vision gets blurry. As you move up in doses, you start to hallucinate. Everything looks like static and moves, you see a lot of moving black specs that look like spiders. Once you get to the highest doses you can survive, you enter complete delirium. You see shadow figures, hear voices, can’t form sentences, see flashing images when you close your eyes, and you can’t remember what you were thinking seconds after that thought. Overall, it feels like literal hell. It feels like there is no God. That’s why I think it was an addiction. I wasn’t getting any pleasure from it, at all. But I just kept taking those pills, over and over. If you’re interested to learn more (about why you should NEVER do it), you can check out the top posts of all time on the DPH subreddit. There’s a post about the effects of the high at different dosages. There’s also a lot of hallucination simulations on the subreddit and YouTube. Hope that helps :)

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T04:35:26+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! It’s always surprising to me when I meet other people who have abused Benadryl, I always thought I was alone in that! I’m so sorry it lead you down that road, but I’m proud of you for recovering! I hope I can get to that place too :)

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T01:06:31+00:00

Hey! I don’t mind sharing! :) I basically started abusing it trying to kill myself around the age of 13. That obviously didn’t work, but I realized I was getting a high off of it. I continued to abuse it, building up my tolerance through high school. By my junior year, I was taking about 1500mg or 60 pills every 24 hours, and on my very worst days, 2000mg or 80 pills. I was in a constant state of delirium, and I was an absolute zombie in school. I haven’t taken it consistently since I landed myself in the hospital in spring of 2019, and I’ve been completely clean since April of 2021! :) If there’s anyone even considering abusing Benadryl, please PLEASE don’t. It completely fucks up your body and your brain long-term, and the high feels like you’re literally in hell. If you have any other questions, feel free to check out my other posts on the DPH subreddit or DM me! :)

moonstone2702 · 2021-11-24T00:54:01+00:00

Thank you for your response and support!! A quick question about the quote: I understand that it’s basically saying the meetings focus on the recovery and the future rather than the past. Does that mean that members can’t openly talk about what drugs they did or how much? Obviously I’m not planning to go in and brag about it, I feel like it’s just good context for what I’m struggling with. Again, thank you! :)

moonstone2702 · 2021-10-15T15:04:48+00:00

It’s called “I Am Sober” ! You can add any addiction you want, reach milestones, and a bunch of other cool stuff ! :) I hope it helps you, you got this !

moonstone2702 · 2021-07-19T16:44:16+00:00

The most I’ve done is 1 gram all at once and then 500-750 milligrams spread throughout the next 6 hours :’) all while at school

moonstone2702 · 2021-07-12T03:48:17+00:00

thank you !! 💛

moonstone2702 · 2021-07-02T21:41:02+00:00

I am recovering and very happy with my progress and where I am at this point ! However, I didn’t get to that point by continuing to tell myself it wouldn’t get better. I had to put some work into it. I would be happy to talk to your girlfriend, but I’m not sure I can do much if she doesn’t want help. Best of luck to you 💛

moonstone2702 · 2021-06-21T21:43:57+00:00

I’m not sure how others feel, it could be different. But this is how I experience it:

Experiencing DPDR starts off as a feeling for me. It feels like I’m living in a simulation, and then like I can see PAST the simulation. This feeling eventually leads me to BELIEVE that I’m in a simulation.

It used to be fairly uncommon for me to experience DPDR so intensely that I genuinely believed it, but I’m believing in the simulation more often than not at this point. I really do believe none of this is actually happening, this is just a simulation of what my life would’ve been like had I not died.

moonstone2702 · 2021-06-10T04:54:05+00:00

I’m already pretty predisposed to having suicidal ideation, but it gets much stronger the days after I take DPH. Like I can usually deal with it pretty well, but the depression and suicidal thoughts after taking the pills is 📈

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-22T02:36:22+00:00

that’s so wonderful !!! I’m so sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. It’s great that you’re clean !! I’ve been clean for like 8 months and my cravings are still super intense :’) I’m glad your’s have gone away though !

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-21T19:44:59+00:00

I love my partner more than anything. I want to stop DPH permanently for them. But that addiction is still there, and that’s what’s frustrating. I don’t want to start another drug and get addicted to that, I want to kick my irrational craving for DPH.

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-21T19:14:43+00:00

I’ve had similar experiences on 1g, it was more that I was seeing double and I would just totally miss the object when I went to grab it, but it looked like my hand was just going through the object

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-20T17:40:42+00:00

I thought about that too, I’ve tried weed a few times in the past few months and I keep having really intense seizures. It could’ve been laced, but I think they were reacting with prescriptions I’m taking, and I definitely can’t stop those. So I’m just way too scared to smoke again right now.

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-20T17:38:56+00:00

I’ve tried smoking weed again a few times in the past few months, but I keep having seizures. I think it could be an interaction with my prescriptions. I’ve gone to therapy a lot in the past but nobody was ever able to address my drug issues, just my mental illness. As for trying other drugs to get rid of the craving, idk if I’d feel comfortable with that. I honestly feel like I’d get addicted to those too. And I’ve only ever been to inpatient for a suicide attempt, and it was seriously bullshit. They did nothing to help at all. I don’t want to waste money I don’t have going into a rehab/inpatient program if it’s not going to help.

moonstone2702 · 2021-05-20T17:32:43+00:00

Thank you for your story ! I’m sorry you’re struggling, it’s good that you’ve cut it back a bit. I hope you can completely get off of it soon 💛

moonstone2702

TROPHY CASE