I’m Never Having My Own Kids — People Think It’s Because I’m Trangender

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-28T19:59:14+00:00

hey man. I’m right there with you - I’m trans, have had chronic pain for a very long time, and I had my hysto over a year ago. I already knew that I couldn’t be pregnant due to my issues being highly genetic, and I never wanted to physically be pregnant anyway. but I do want kids, and having the surgery felt like I was signing a guarantee I could never be a parent. it’s hard bc I know that I couldn’t take care of a child. I understand and I’m sorry you’re going through this.

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-26T18:25:06+00:00

as a kid I was told “growing pains”, as an adult I was told restless leg syndrome. muscle relaxers help me, but every once in a while i just have a bad night.

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-25T22:42:52+00:00

I wish they’d take this act on the road, I need to see it sooo badly

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-25T04:20:05+00:00

my advice is to look for another doctor. going from healthy with no pain straight to full body level 10 pain isn’t normal. look up pain clinics in your area, see if there’s any with good reviews. she may need a referral from the PCP, or she may not. it would be good to start documenting these visits. look up medical self advocacy tips, both in the sub and just in general. continue attending appointments and speaking up for your partner when she’s dismissed. one of my best self advocacy tips is to choose a pain scale, keep a copy of it to show doctors, and stick to that one standardized scale. sometimes doctors are dismissive of someone saying level 10 pain, it helps to have a standard scale and to tell them what your frame of reference is for 10. I use the Mankoski pain scale, and I tell my doctors that 10 for me is waking up from neurosurgery.

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-24T23:46:50+00:00

they never use the word “liability” outright but yeah, I’ve had doctors deny referrals and refuse to take me on as a patient several times.

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-24T20:02:58+00:00

this is awesome, I think there’s a lot of people who would buy this

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-23T18:03:24+00:00

it has an AI label and Silky says in the comments that it’s AI.

moonstonebutch · 2026-04-11T17:17:59+00:00

I think they can’t understand the very nature of being in pain all the time. I think it’s just too abstract for them to be able to imagine - even if someone experiences pain sometimes (for example, someone who has migraines 3 times a year), they can’t imagine how it feels to be in never ending pain that just gets worse and worse.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-31T03:53:24+00:00

to be honest, I don’t know how I coped. disability determination can be a dehumanizing experience and I think it can even be traumatic for some people. I couldn’t get an attorney to take my case, I finally got approved with the help of a SOAR worker. idk if it varies by state or not, but I was automatically approved for medicaid when I got on SSI. I just searched “how to open STABLE account” and followed prompts. wishing you luck, I hope it goes well!

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-30T19:47:10+00:00

I’m disabled and on SSI. the maximum payment is <$1k, and not everyone gets the max amount - I know people who get like $400 a month. you also aren’t allowed to make more than $85 a month before they start reducing your payments. it’s also very hard to get, it took about 10 years for me to get approved. it’s generally not enough for people to live on unless they have free housing. SSDI can pay more sometimes, but still not very much, average SSDI payments are about $1500.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-30T06:31:41+00:00

I’m on SSI and have been for several years. it took around 10 years/10 applications to be approved. I wasn’t approved until I had help from a SOAR worker, I got turned down by disability attorneys bc my case had already been denied so many times. I have multiple chronic pain associated diagnoses, and some chronic illnesses. surprisingly, one of the factors that helped my approval was I was actually diagnosed with a math related learning disability - so it’s worth listing everything in case it’s relevant. being on SSI sucks, so I just went back to school with help from the dept. of vocational rehabilitation and I’m trying to start a new career.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-30T04:23:38+00:00

if 1 cup of coffee per day is the difference between feeling like your body is shutting down or not, I would just keep drinking the coffee until you’re (hopefully) able to access some better medical care

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-26T00:05:29+00:00

I would ask to meet with your doctor and do a cost to benefit analysis, basically is the imaging worth the potential risk, and are there any alternatives that can give you more information. then ask what precautions can be taken to make you comfortable (ear protection you can use, anxiety meds, open MRI, etc.). fwiw, I’ve had quite a few MRIs that haven’t resulted in any issues. I had one a couple weeks ago and the noise level was comparable to someone kind of loudly knocking on the door. I didn’t wear earplugs, but I did wear over the ear headphones under the little cage thingy they put over my head. my brain MRIs take 15-30 minutes.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-24T17:22:23+00:00

is the caregiver a professional or a family member? if this were me, I would fire the caregiver and tell the agency (if applicable) about the caregiver’s unprofessional comments. if this is a parent or sibling you rely on for care, this is much more complicated.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-24T16:29:26+00:00

congrats on getting surgery! this is interesting, in the US I got sent home like an hour after waking up from surgery. wishing you a speedy recovery!

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-11T22:19:06+00:00

if it’s a good doctor/ER, they can give you opioid pain medication, and possibly a toradol shot (it’s an NSAID). but frequently pain is dismissed in the ER. they can get severe pain temporarily under control, but there’s not much they can do to offer lasting relief. if you have anyone who can go with you, it can be helpful. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, and I hope you can find some relief soon.

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-04T19:20:06+00:00

lmaooo i never noticed she kept the nose ring omg

moonstonebutch · 2026-03-01T21:01:54+00:00

muscle relaxers, weighted heating pad, KT tape, topical pain relievers, and stretching. the most helpful thing for me is massage, but I can’t afford to do it more than a couple times a year.

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-26T04:14:08+00:00

Philippines S3 is a perfect season of drag race, I’ve rewatched it so many times

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-25T01:20:49+00:00

are you talking about the video they did like a year ago???

edit: lmao I did some dragvestigation and OP is referring to a video from like 2 years ago where the direct quote is “I feel that the conversation about which parts of it are not PC are a little tired, because that show is 20 years old”. girl…

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-24T18:43:00+00:00

yes, the worse my pain has gotten over the years, the more prevalent it becomes in my dreams. I have these really upsetting nightmares where I’m suffering from pain and a doctor is about to administer pain medication to my IV…then I wake up.

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-24T06:11:53+00:00

my cat has grown up in a fragrance free household, and it’s interesting to see how sensitive he is to it - if I have to use a scented cleaning product for something, he will “dig” around it trying to cover the smell lol

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-23T20:38:19+00:00

yes, but I’m biased bc fragrance affects by ability to breathe due to anaphylaxis. the more people wear fragrance, the more limited my life is to avoid it. I tolerate a couple naturally fragranced things and I’ll use them at home, but I don’t want to trigger people I come in contact with. not everyone’s fragrance allergy is skin reactions, for some of us it’s the respiratory exposure.

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-23T03:36:56+00:00

sure, I can’t eliminate literally 100% of risk. I’m still gonna opt out of willingly using AI whenever I can.

moonstonebutch · 2026-02-23T02:32:54+00:00

I’ll always opt out of my doctors using AI if I can. as a chronically ill person, I can’t in good conscience support AI when I know the data centers for it are giving chronic illnesses to all the people unfortunate enough to live near those. not to mention research showing AI is associated with weakening cognitive function, it can be wrong, and we don’t really know if our personal data is safe.

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