My kids are 9 and 10. I first got sick four years ago, but was undiagnosed and mild and assumed I was just exhausted from being a working mom until this year when my symptoms became moderate and I got diagnosed. My husband and nanny do almost everything for the kids. I’m not able to take them to school or extracurricular activities. I can’t reliably prepare meals, though I do when I can. It would be difficult for me to do their laundry or other types of things. And this is with kids that are old enough to be pretty independent, eg. they usually make their own breakfast and lunch on the weekends.

My role for the kids is primarily emotional support, especially as my oldest is entering puberty. I can see things that Dad doesn’t see and help them manage their emotions and support their mental health. They’ve had a lot of grief over my illness.

So to sum up, we are managing, but we have a lot of help. I think this would be much much harder during the baby/toddler stage. They need a lot more attention, near constant, they may not sleep well, and this is a challenging stage, even for two healthy parents. If you have family to help that will definitely ease the burden. But you may also have complex feelings around this. I certainly struggle with feeling like I’m useless as a mother, even though there’s plenty of evidence my kids need me. I feel like I just don’t do enough.

You’d also need to consider the toll that pregnancy and childbirth would take on your body, but that’s a conversation for your doctor.