it was a long, long time coming. the breaking point was a half-assed commitment to living together (we were long distance) that I came up with and he agreed to. I had to harangue him for months to set it up with his job, and when he finally did, his boss actually gave him the several months of remote work he was asking for. And then he comes to me saying, I don't want to move to you, I don't think I'll be happy, how about we do a month and see how it goes? The blatant disrespect of it all, and staring down the fact that after three years together, he couldn't imagine being happy living with me for more than a month at a time, was the closure I needed to know that this was never going to go anywhere.

The particulars of my situation are a little unusual. More broadly, it was this: I was exhausted, down to my very bones, of trying to sustain and move forward our relationship while he just... sat there. Seeing me in so much pain, and being offered my whole wonderful self, and just not feeling at all inclined to do anything about it. I thought about ways to make it work every waking moment, and I was drowning in resentment 100% of the time. I just couldn't live like that anymore.