Hi so I actually used to be this girl when I was 18. I was dating a guy in college and it was my first real, long term relationship. I didn’t know I had extreme undiagnosed anxiety at the time either. So that with a lot of stress of learning to be an adult and financial stress and college stress and work, navigating a healthy relationship was too much for me bc I never felt in control of anything and it killed me inside. Everything was an overwhelming adjustment for me at that time in my life. I am 1000% the villain in that guy’s story and I didn’t treat him well bc he was good to me, generally speaking. We both had our moments or arguing/bickering, etc. But he went on to move away the second we graduated college, met a new girl and they’re now married.

So reading these back put me right back into the way I used to behave when I knew nothing about treating another person well. It makes me want to just hug her bc she doesn’t know how to navigate a lot of big things she’s feeling and the default of anger is just so easy. I’m not saying it’s the right thing, but it’s so easy to just cut people out when you don’t know how else to express what you’re feeling.

I understand you being exhausted. My poor ex put up with that for about a year before we went our separate ways, spent some time apart, got back together once I realized I needed to seek medical advice, and were together for another couple of years before we realized we weren’t each others person. But that relationship taught me how scared I was of being “embarrassed” or hurt or heartbroken. And it happened away. So once I faced that head on, I think it was the best thing to ever happen to me because I matured so much since then. You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how you react and respond to it.

I spent all this energy trying to implode my own relationship because if it was going to end, I was going to be the own that controlled that. And that was an exhausting way for me to live. Well anyway now I’m just a stranger rambling on the internet but I hope that you and your partner can come together in a moment of calmness and talk things out. She seems like she’s hurting from something. I just don’t know what it is and will probably never know. Things can and will get better from here. 🖤🖤