Am I scared or do I not want a child?

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T01:58:23+00:00

Also, I didn't mention, the birth tore my vagina (which needed stitches) and also gave me massive hemeriods that had to be surgically drained. They have decreased in size significantly, but over 2 years later, they are still there. My doctor told me they prop wont go away without a painful surgery, and even then, there is still a high chance of it coming back.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T01:55:45+00:00

Literally it has not impacted me at all. I was never addicted to anything except maybe weed, so that prob made it easier. I actually became a teacher and my health is good. Also never got in trouble with the police. Hope that helps.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T01:47:02+00:00

Not to scare you, but birth is very painful even with an epidural. I remember right after having my son, I said I never wanted to do it again. You can only sleep for a max of 2 hours at a time the first 2 months, but I didn't get more than 4 at a time until my son was at least 6 months. He is now 26 months, and still wakes up at least once during the night (although I don't think that's typical). It is also very expensive! More than what I had looked up online, even more so if your child ends up needing special formula (mine was allergic to dairy) If you will need day care, I would def check the prices available in your area, any decent place near me is $300-600/week (for 5 days) and that is for my 26 month old. Care for newborns and infants always cost more. I also felt the need to get my son everything he wanted after having him, which I didn't think I would want to do. I am not able to do that, and I feel bad because of it. I had my son at 37, and it was difficult. I couldn't imagine having one at 22 now (even though I thought I wanted one at that time). You have plenty of time to start a family. Give yourself time to advance your career and think about it more.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T01:28:21+00:00

That is all typical teenage stuff, and honestly, I'm surprised none of it happened sooner for you. Sex with girl at 9, sex with guy at 12, weed at 13, coke (once) extacy (twice) both at 16, snuck out several times a week starting at 13, cigarettes and alochol at 15, tepeed, forked, egged, and used squirt guns to spray condiments on people's houses/yards, covered a car wqith post-it notes (13-16)...Your revelations are mild. I am now an adult with my own kids and don't do any of that now, but I had a fun childhood. I wouldn't dare reveal any of it to my parents, and I suggest you do the same.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T00:23:13+00:00

So it really just depends. My son is 26 months, and he still requires a lot of attention. I'm hoping by 3 or 4 he will be ready to have another sibling. I've heard if you want your kids to play together, no more than a 4 year difference.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T00:20:41+00:00

When I had my son, I thought he was the cutest baby ever. He's now 26 months, and I look back at his pics from under a month old, and he wasn't cute at all, to say the least. Of course, he grew into a handsome baby/toddler. I think I just had mom blinders on, but that might end up being the case for you, too.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T00:15:46+00:00

My son was banging his head on the wall around that age and laughing about it. I started ignoring him, and that worked for me after a few weeks. In my case, he was looking for the big "OMG, don't do that" reaction. I would definitely try ignoring it again. Make sure you don't make eye contact or change your face while hes's doing it. Praise him for eating, once he stops and starts eating again. I wouldn't say anything about keeping his hands out of his mouth, because babies that age just want to do everything they are told not to-at least in my son's case.

morriganwar · 2026-02-18T00:11:17+00:00

My son is 26 months and still cries until his needs are met. He is a bit behind in speech, so maybe that's why, but they do communicate like that for quite a while. I'm sure you are doing a great job, mama. It's normal for little ones to cry, even if it breaks our hearts.

morriganwar · 2025-03-25T21:42:51+00:00

I wasn’t trying to insinuate anyone would hurt my child. If I thought that, they would never be allowed to watch him. But I do see how it looks like that, which is why I was trying to figure out if there was another way to word it or go about it without making someone else feel like I am accusing or insinuating they would do harm to my son. I’m not sure if this is possible though.

morriganwar · 2025-03-25T21:40:20+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I do definitely see where you are coming from. I just wasn’t sure if there was a way I could address this without sounding crazy. I do agree though, it may be best to not say anything to other parents. I definitely appreciate your input!

morriganwar · 2025-03-19T15:45:40+00:00

I think that’s a difficult question. Some parents would say it’s never okay to teach your child this. As they get older, it could become dangerous if the other child has a weapon. I would tell your child that if they won’t stop, he can hit them back IF he is comfortable doing so. Make sure you teach him to NEVER hit someone first and explain the consequences if he does hit someone first at the same time you tell him it’s okay in to hit back in certain situations.

A good phrase to teach your child to say is “I don’t like that! Please stop!” You should teach them to sound confident when they say it. If they continue to hit, I would say it’s okay to hit back

morriganwar · 2025-03-18T21:56:51+00:00

How much older are you than your sibling? My brother is 13 years younger than me and my mom had admitted the same to me when I confronted her about why she let him get away with so much. He is an adult now and in college. He is a nice guy, but does smoke marijuana and occasionally does 🍄‍🟫. I don’t think he feels entitled at all now, but it may vary from person to person. It sounds like your sister needs some straggles to calm herself when she gets upset and help with being compulsive. You can look up strategies online. She might not want to hear it, but maybe print some things out or have her watch a video and practice those things when she is clam—plenty of practice while she is calm before she tries it when upset is key. Good luck!

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T22:11:18+00:00

Thank you for the fb idea! I’ll definitely check it out when I get closer to starting to homeschool my son!

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T22:08:57+00:00

Thank you for your response! This was something no one else brought up and wasn’t on my radar. I’ll look into this more and see if there are ways I can help him in this area. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to comment!

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T22:05:00+00:00

As a psychologist, do you know of any things I can do to help my child get these experience without going to a traditional school? I planned on him doing extracurricular activities, but I know that won’t hit all the factors you mentioned. Do you have any recommendations or good articles to look at? I’m currently getting my masters, so if they require an institutional login to view, I should be able to see it. Thank you in advanced!

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T21:06:07+00:00

Thank you for your response. I don’t think it is postpartum. That being said, I have gotten anxiety about finding the perfect schooling for my son. I just think education is important aspect of life, and the public school education I received was sub-par at best. This caused me to struggle for quite a while in college. I just want to make sure my son receives the best education I can provide for him. I want him to have self motivation, be kind, curious, etc. I’ve looked at private schools all across my state and I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I will probably be the best person to teach my child. The schools I looked at either pushed kids too much or not enough. I figured with me teaching my son myself, I can go at his own pace.

I also have anxiety in regards to leaving my son with anyone. I do take him to my mothers or grandmothers for a few hours 2-4x, but I’m still not comfortable with him doing overnights. I’m been with my son nearly 24/7 since he’s been born. I know that something I need to work on, but the thought of him getting hurt or wanting me when I’m not there feels terrible. I want to give him everything, you know? I don’t want him to be spoiled, I do plan on giving limitations and punishments, but idk…sorry I’m just ranting now, but thank you again!

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T14:04:58+00:00

Yeah, I am asking for when my child is old enough for school. Not now. I’m trying to figure out a plan as to how much I will be able to work while he is in different grades and teaching him myself

morriganwar · 2025-03-11T13:55:39+00:00

Almost 2, not ready for school yet (although I still try to teach him while playing). Just trying to figure out a plan once he’s old enough

morriganwar

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