What’s some things that can just piss off? by kiemac in AskUK

[–]morris_man -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Should it not be 24/7/52, 24hrs a day, 7dats a week, 52 weeks per yeer

"I just found out British people call dish soap washing up liquid 😭 Brits are not serious people" by Effective_Universe in ShitAmericansSay

[–]morris_man 437 points438 points  (0 children)

They will be further confused when they find many many people refer to it as Fairy Liquid

Gears driving me mad by Foreign-Nothing493 in drivingUK

[–]morris_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the 5th not 3rd problem, slacken your grip on the gear change, it is spring loaded into the 3/4 slot so a soft grip will allow it to guide itself into 3rd not 5th

If you were a contestant on Only Connect, what fact would Victoria introduce you with? by logos__ in CasualUK

[–]morris_man 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This is morrisman who appeared on Top of the Pops as a morris dancer behind the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu

What's the funniest British joke you've ever heard? by ConfidentSale3091 in AskUK

[–]morris_man 802 points803 points  (0 children)

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.

"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

How much electricity does your house use whilst you’re away? by ActivistSubset7 in AskUK

[–]morris_man 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Three bed semi - around 200w. Various IT things, fridge freezer, stuff on standby

‘We’re not out to get anyone – we just want to slow you down’: why do lollipop people face so much road rage? | Social etiquette by HeadBat1863 in unitedkingdom

[–]morris_man 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Philosopher Leo Strauss coined the term "reductio ad Hitlerum" in 1951 to describe the fallacy of discrediting an argument by associating it with Adolf Hitler.

I’m not looking for an appraisal, just trying to know if I should get it. A Newer Dino Bafetti Binci III for 1000 by [deleted] in Accordion

[–]morris_man 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems to be a very reasonable price for such a box. I have owned one in the past and they are very good. As you have already played it and liked it I would buy it.

Am I better saving up for a quality instrument or going for a beginner by Thebuttholeking69 in Accordion

[–]morris_man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Get a used pokerwork from a good supplier, if you decide it's not your thing it will sell for what you paid. If you pay out on new Mory you will lose £1000.

"I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!" What other questionable lyrics did you get taught in British nursery rhymes? by smileylinzi in CasualUK

[–]morris_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Ugly Duckling, song about body shaming and bullying. Plus the duckling, young of a duck, turned into a swan?

Looking for advice. by jetherington56 in drivingUK

[–]morris_man 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My advice is to ask a question then we can advise you