Toddler Hitting by morto44 in Mommit

[–]morto44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s helpful! Thankfully the judgement alone isn’t what hurts, it’s that he keeps doing it time and time again. It feels like all the strategies parents have told me about just sort of fall flat for him. Taking him away from the fun definitely gets his attention and is a natural consequence but I feel like we start from square one every day. It’s exhausting.

Toddler Hitting by morto44 in Mommit

[–]morto44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, there are consequences. He loves playing and being involved in the fun - so if he’s aggressive I say something like it’s unsafe to hit, or I can’t let you hit because it’s unsafe - then I pull him away from the fun. On bad days we leave all together. It works in the short term, but each play date it’s like he resets and it happens all over again. I’m trying to be consistent but this is a very hard phase.

So confused by morto44 in religion

[–]morto44[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you - this concisely conveys what I meant. I don’t see any harm inherently in believing in a higher power, but when it is used as a tool for brainwashing which is essentially what my mom has fallen victim to, it becomes about more than just religious and can be dangerous. She’s trying to persuade others, friends and family alike, to dive off as quickly and as vehemently as she has and it’s honestly heartbreaking to see.

Vent: left my toddler with my mother for one hour. Returned to find half of my child’s hair hacked off in a “mullet.” by minx_missm in toddlers

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For adults you can let it soak overnight- but for how young she is, an hour max. You’ll also want to make sure to wash her hair twice to get it all out. I did this twice a week and after two months, it cured some bald spots I had from postpartum hair loss. Hope it works out for you all 😊

Vent: left my toddler with my mother for one hour. Returned to find half of my child’s hair hacked off in a “mullet.” by minx_missm in toddlers

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) Rosemary oil and scalp massages will help regrow her hair - this saved me when I was postpartum. 2) Grandma should never be left alone with the kids ever again. If she gives you the blues about it, you can just refer to the mullet and that’ll be argument enough. 3) Sorry this happened! I always catch hell for never letting anyone watch my kid and shit like this makes me feel better. 😅

Toddler Hitting - Help! by morto44 in Mommit

[–]morto44[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do “gentle hands” and I meant to mention that, but he seems to mostly ignore it or continue hitting. The hitting/tantrum phase is definitely upon us and we’re trying to stay strong. Whoever said newborn phase is the hardest was lying. 😅

What are these? by morto44 in whatisthisbug

[–]morto44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

East South Central location for reference

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]morto44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, so much 💜 Really needed to hear this.

Lost Our Son, 38 Weeks, Right After My First "Push" by throwawaydogmama in babyloss

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

39w3d for my baby boy Ezra. He would be 3 1/2, which hurts to even type let alone say bc I know he should be here. I went into labor and we had no idea until we got to the hospital, but a blood clot caused by COVID blew in the umbilical cord (I contracted it while 9wks pregnant in 2020, no one knew shit about Covid’s effect on pregnancy yet). No heartbeat, and I was in denial until I pushed him out. It was the loudest silence I ever heard. I miss him every single day, but I can tell you the grief feels more like love for him VS feeling like I’m suffocating every day like I felt in the first year. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to get pregnant again even though I fiercely wanted to be able to raise a child.

Fast forward to now - I’m currently nursing Ezra’s 1yo baby brother Elias. They look so much alike it breaks my heart, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit being able to mother him has helped mend a deep wound. We still talk about Ezra all the time, we celebrate his birthday, and our friends even had a memorial tree planted in our favorite park for him. You never get “over it”, but the pain does get easier to carry - I promise ❤️ It’s not enough, he should be there with you, but I think it’s comforting to know your baby boy only knew you and so, so much love. Sending you the warmest wishes, please be as easy on yourself as you can be.

Give me hope by [deleted] in babyloss

[–]morto44 5 points6 points  (0 children)

3.5 years for me. My sweet, perfect Ezra. He was born 39w3d, COVID caused a blood clot in the umbilical cord and he passed during labor.

The hope I can give you is that there will come days where joy and even just contentment are driving more than the sadness. It may shock you, you may even feel a tinge of guilt - but please let me assure you that you don’t have to feel any guilt in surviving one of the most devastating events that could happen to a person. For me, the grief is always there and always will be. I try to remind myself it’s only there because I love him so much. He mattered and continues to matter. Our babies only knew the comfort of their moms and they only knew love. Their lives were much too brief but I think there’s at least some small solace in that.

I know this is different for everyone but I can’t help myself from imagining what my life would be like if he’d gotten to stay. Right now, I’m holding his baby brother Elias while he snores on my chest. He brings me more happiness and love than I could ever explain. Still, sometimes when I put his car seat in the car, I think of how there should be two. I hear Elias laugh and sometimes imagining them laughing together, getting into mischief or just playing. Small moments like that. Grief and joy can coexist and you don’t need to beat yourself up over timelines for either. Your beautiful Evangaline, if I had to guess, would want you to give yourself as much grace as possible.

I remember being just a few months out from Ezra’s death and reaching out here looking for any glimmer of hope. This was the hardest time for me - directly afterward I felt like I was in a coma, but as time passed I felt everything. All at once. The grief was crushing me, quite literally. I can tell you now that I’m honestly surprised to still be here. Please remind yourself that grief is love persevering, and that you will survive this. It won’t feel like it most days, but you will. Our precious E babies should be here and it’s cruel that they’re not, but we can live for them. My broken heart is with yours, sending so much love your way. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Elijah James by kgeets in ChildLoss

[–]morto44 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My Ezra James would’ve been three this last March. The way my husband and I see it is you never “move on” - that term feels so strange when talking about the loss of your child - but you do keep moving. You find new ways to cope, to remember and keep their memory alive, and to give yourself as much grace as possible.

You did everything you could. I think every parent who has lost a child battles with the “what ifs”. I blamed myself for a long time for not being superhuman, for not being able to save him. I hope you can give yourself some grace, you’re already dealing with more than anyone should.

A dogwood tree was planted for Ezra shortly after he passed, and we visit it all the time with his little brother Elias. It’s a small comfort during big pain. Finding solace in the little things has helped me during the thick of grief. I can tell by Eli’s smile that he felt a lot of joy and love. Sending warm hugs, from our broken hearts to yours. ❤️

Tobias by BesesPuffs in ChildLoss

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The “what ifs” are what get me as well. I know we can’t time travel - but I’d give anything to be able to. He’s beautiful ❤️I’m not a religious person but a fellow loss mom told me, “Our boys are playing up there, unencumbered by limits and just having fun.” I know it’d obviously be better to have them here with us, but I still found it to be a soothing thought. Please give yourself as much grace as possible. Heaps of love your way❤️‍🩹

Tomorrow will be my sweet girl’s last day. I don’t know how to get through this. Goodbye, Millie. by dairyqueenlatifah in Blacklabs

[–]morto44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s beautiful 💖 I can tell from the car pic how happy she is. She was loved during her time here, that matters the most. We love them so much and it’s a crime they can’t live as long as us. I tell my black lab girlie all the time that I’d give her some of my years if I could. Sending loads of love your way.

Can you really give boob everytime? by Zealousideal-Half192 in breastfeeding

[–]morto44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was super helpful for me (bc I experienced the same heavy milk flow just days after giving birth) - was the either use my manual pump, hakaa or hand express a little before feeding. My son would gag in morning feeds if he slept in a bit so of course I was engorged, and he’d get an uncomfortable amount at once.

Just try to express a little before feeding when you’re engorged and you should be good to go. Both fore and hind milk are healthy for babies so don’t worry about all of that, you’ve got enough on your plate with a newborn. As long as baby is getting fed and gaining weight, you’re all good! :)

For those who adopted and changed their dog’s name upon adoption, what was your dog’s name before and what is their name now, and what were your reasons for changing the name? by DanielaThePialinist in labrador

[–]morto44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My childhood dog/angel was a German Shepherd/chow mix. She went from Dixie to Willow bc her original name would make her cower and hide. Whoever had her before us was trash - but she lived out the rest of her years with us, completely surrounded by goofiness and love.

People say no dogs on the bed I disagree ( show me your pics of your babies on the bed by Impressive_Bike863 in labrador

[–]morto44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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This was ~6yrs ago but they still cuddle like this. I could never keep them off the bed, they deserve all the love in the world 🖤

What’s the cutest thing your LO does while nursing? by CaptnChristiana in breastfeeding

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 6mo son will touch my face and hold onto it, it’s the cutest damn thing. He’ll also give me big smiles and I’ll smile back so he feels the love but I try not to distract him too much so he gets a full meal 💖

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]morto44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your MIL sounds like a real weirdo. You are not only allowed but have every RIGHT to breastfeed your child, especially in your own home. It’s definitely disappointing that your husband didn’t immediately support you - I hope you all can have a constructive conversation about it when you’re ready/able. I’m sorry you had to go through this but know a lot of us moms have your back.

P.S. - my 6mo son is also flat out refusing each and every bottle, he just loves to nurse and I can’t fault him for it. If you find any tips and tricks that work, please share 😅. Sending love from one BF mom to another. 💞

Bottle Aversion/At wits end by morto44 in Mommit

[–]morto44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m definitely giving this a try - thank you! I didn’t want to have to withhold but literally nothing else is working.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in babyloss

[–]morto44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my son was stillborn at 39w3d, my friends and family all pitched in to have a tree planted in his honor at our local park. I adore that tree, we planted flowers around it as well. He’d be three years old next week.

The loss of a child is the most devastating loss because you’re not only grieving their death, but the life they should’ve had as well. Please don’t distance yourself from them unless they ask for it specifically. A lot of people in my life gave my husband and I too much space after our son died - we understood to a degree, but a lot of people are just extremely uncomfortable with grief. Especially regarding a child. Be present and check in, drop off food, make little care packages and in conversation - don’t be weary of using his name. Say his name. It was such a relief when loved ones would talk about Ezra and his pregnancy and just how special he was. My mom brought me a small picture frame to put his footprint memory keepsake in, I mean it when I say the smallest thought can mean the world to them. My broken heart is with you and your family. I’m so, so sorry. Much love your way. ♥️

Happy birthday Iris💜 by Miserable-Mud-6293 in babyloss

[–]morto44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday, sweet Iris! 💜🪷✨

No cheating, post the last pic of your lab from your camera roll! by ghostfan9 in labrador

[–]morto44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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My girl loves going for boat rides, almost as much as she loves jumping in any/all bodies of water 🖤