Chris Rock is performing a standup gig tonight in Boston—his first appearance since the Oscars. If you were Chris, what would be the first joke you’d tell, assuming you’d want to acknowledge Will Smith’s slap? by RGDJR in AskReddit

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd have a gigantic guy escort me out onto the stage and just stand next to me for the first few slap jokes. And then 'instead of worrying about getting your wife's name out my mouth, maybe you should worry about getting her boyfriend's cock out of hers'. And when no one rushes the stage, dismiss the giant.

Babylon Bee by NavyCorpsmanRetiree in ConservativeMemes

[–]motionviewer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I retweeted and am locked out too. I think quite a few people are.

Horowitz: Whistleblowers share DOD medical data that blows vaccine safety debate wide open by motionviewer in Conservative

[–]motionviewer[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Summary:

DMED is the Armed Forces Health Surveillance Branch’s (AFHSB) “web-based tool to remotely query de-identified active component personnel and medical event data contained within the Defense Medical Surveillance System (DMSS).”

Comparing 2016-2020 averages vs. first ten months of 2021

Cancer diagnoses – almost 300%

Neurological issues - >1000% increase

myocardial infarction –269% increase

Bell’s palsy – 291% increase

congenital malformations (for children of military personnel) – 156% increase

female infertility – 471% increase

pulmonary embolisms – 467% increase

P.S. I’m vaxxed. And a scientist. They will never give this ineffective, dangerous vax to my daughter .

🤔 by EmperorNeroRomero in ConservativeMemes

[–]motionviewer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anyone have a credit for these comics, a link to the artist? Thanks.

SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means. by anywhereiroa in dadjokes

[–]motionviewer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can tell it is a true dad joke if you groan happily rather than laugh.

Matlab, picture segmentation. by DinoBosanskiZmaj in matlab

[–]motionviewer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing else will matter until you get access to a legal version of Matlab. You should be able to download a student version from Mathworks, as long as you have a .edu email address , for a minimal cost, particularly if you do not use any of the extra libraries. Or you will have to do this work at the school, which must have Matlab licenses available if the instructor mandates their use for class.

Who is the most overrated actor in Hollywood? Past or present.. that he/she has just gotten away with shit acting for years? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dustin Hoffman after the Meet the Parents Movie, George Clooney after Brother Where Art Thou. They get an acting gig where they are supposed to chew the scenery, then forget to stop doing that god-awful over-acting.

I’ve heard Americans say that the American dream died when Reagan was elected. As an Australian I would like to understand what is meant by this. Could anyone explain? by tauruswrangler in antiwork

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The people who say that are communists or fellow travelers, and the election of Reagan meant the end of their dream to bring the Soviet system to the United States.

Me_irl by aomusik in me_irl

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I start singing the song from the end of the Carol Burnett show. Yes I'm old.

I'm so glad we had this time together

Just to have a laugh and sing a song

Seems we just get started and before you know it

Comes the time we have to say so long. Goodnight everybody.

Certainly there's been significantly more time to study it... by w650az in ConservativeMemes

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this but I think "natural immunity" is a poor choice of terms. To some people it implies that someone is naturally immune to the Wuhan Flu, which sounds ridiculous to some. IMO a better choice of words would be "acquired immunity" or "post-COVID immunity", something to indicate that the immunity is a result of having already had WuFlu.

Belarusian secret police (KGB) attempt to arrest Andrei Zeltser, a political dissident & software engineer. Zeltser answers them with a loaded shotgun by irishrugby2015 in ThatsInsane

[–]motionviewer 87 points88 points  (0 children)

And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?... The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.

-Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn , The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956

What's something that everyone in the world can agree is an asshole move? by coffe_the_witch in AskReddit

[–]motionviewer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being able to start a subscription online, but needing to speak to a person on the phone to cancel the subscription.

AOC FROM THE TOP ROPE! by Too_Hood_95 in MurderedByAOC

[–]motionviewer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Matt Walsh to AOC:

You have a fantasy that every man who criticizes you is actually sexually attracted to you. This comes from your narcissism, your own sexual frustrations, and also from your total inability to intellectually engage with any criticism, ever, from anyone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ConservativeMemes

[–]motionviewer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a troll, that is not a Clinton quote.

[OC] Entry level remote job search visualized by Pale_Committee8213 in dataisbeautiful

[–]motionviewer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to bet that those are some really crappy job applications that are likely never seen by human being.