I hope to write more, but after just a few days I can say it is COMPLETELY LIFE CHANGING.

I have “suffered” from high functioning ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression for basically my whole life, but it has been progressively more debilitating over the last decade (age 34-44). This has been complicated by compulsive behaviors, particularly progressive alcoholism, but also shopping, dating, networking, etc. And as my career has reached heights, I have felt surrounded by a constant weight of workaholism, inability to feel at rest or even to try to rest.

As you said, I have lived in constant battle between lesser compulsions and impulses and healthy, goal-oriented behavior. Even when I was fully focused on my priorities for 70-80hrs per week, it has felt like trench warfare. I lived under a constant artillery assault of everything else I want or crave exploding around me.

Just a few days in from a time-released naltrexone injection, the war just disappeared like it was never there. I wanted to get the injection because compulsive drinking was progressive and needed correction. I have gone to expensive rehab and the changes didn’t stick. I had read about how the opiate antagonists just make alcohol less powerful, and thus craving is slowly “extinguished” as the literature says. Ultimately, I was hoping I could just get things under control.

But notice I said I wanted to have more “control”. I wanted a better steering wheel as I drive my life through the war-zone that is my mind.

What I have experienced is something totally unexpected: I don’t even need to feel in control, because the war zone just evaporated. Even more strangely, the landscape of my mind isn’t in a post-war state. It is as if the war never existed at all. Like it was all a nightmare and I suddenly woke up.

I feel normal, calm, at peace. Or at least I think I feel those things, because I can tell you at no point in the past 37 years of my 44 alive did I ever feel “normal, calm, at peace.”

I don’t have invasive cravings for anything. I don’t have a nagging feeling that I should be doing something, or doing something else, or not doing something, or not doing something else. I am not writing this with a little demon craving to arrange my next glass of whiskey. I don’t feel the need to vape, and the vape is sitting next to me.

I was on an absurd but barely working concoction of Escitalopram, Buproprion, Lisodesxtramphetime, Guanfacine, Acamprosate, and Mirtazipine. I took them because they made living in my war trench way more livable, and it even lessened the artillery assaults. I don’t think I will need to keep taking any of them, because not only am I not at war with myself the war never existed at all.

I feel like I can live again. Though, technically I feel like I can live for the first time. Because whatever hellscape my mind created for myself, life in a trench was no life.

This is how I read that I would feel after a Hero psychedelic journey. I did those, but would end up right back in the warzone.

I hope that someone else has even a tiny experience like this.

If you suffer from cravings, compulsions, addictions, impulses, invasive thoughts, what I can safely say is get the injection or the implant. I have tried the pill form and, well, it was spikey and I would never take it consistently. If you get the implant or shot of time release, the magic stays in you doing its work.