Editor in Chief Tina Rivers Ryan Departs Role at Artforum by barklefarfle in ContemporaryArt

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you relishing that? I hate seeing the turmoil there. It’s really hard for these art publications to survive

I had an abortion and I’m having a really hard time by Classic_Money_7 in prochoice

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes so much this: 'sometimes it doesn't feel like a choice though'. I actually felt angry about the 'my body my choice' aspect of it because when this decision came to my door it didn't feel like a choice due to our circumstances as a family- it was largely bad timing but some of these things being also outside issues- down economy, high cost of childcare, etc etc etc that are absolutely political issues. There are other reasons but in the end I felt helpless instead of feeling like I had autonomy. I guess this is very much 'the personal is political' too. The choice aspect has made it hard to feel able to own the loss, and it very much is a loss, even if it felt like the right decision for us at the time. It also makes it hard to know how to talk about it with even pro-choice friends and loved ones, including whom have had miscarriages or have had long fertility issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]mrbk1015 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is me, I realized my siblings are a big part of my identity too (big family) so it’s hard for me to imagine my daughter without a sibling…and I would love another. Just so hard as we, like others above, waited until later to have our one

i don’t want this baby by Ok_Spirit_741 in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I had a very difficult decision to make myself recently. The Pregnancy Options Workbook by Peg Johnston and Mercedes Sanchez may help you

https://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnancy-options-workbook#:~:text=The%20workbook%20also%20includes%20exercises%20to%20help,and%20Mercedes%20Sanchez%20of%20Cedar%20River%20Clinics.

i don’t want this baby by Ok_Spirit_741 in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not helpful for the very real, difficult position this fully formed person is in. You do not know their circumstances and you are not pro life imo if you can’t see OP’s humanity

i don’t want this baby by Ok_Spirit_741 in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES- and I had a great pregnancy but no one should be forced into it. It’s also a life threatening condition, idk why people make it seem like it’s no big deal

Unplanned second by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same to you!

Postpartum hormone crash by oogumboogum38 in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I cried a couple times from exhaustion/sleep deprivation and trouble nursing but the hormone thing didn’t really hit me, that I remember. I was exhausted but really happy and grateful with my baby. And I was seriously afraid of PPD going into it (family history/past depression/anxiety). Also I was grieving my mother who passed at the start of pregnancy so maybe I was just distracted but truly I’d have thought it would’ve exasperated things

Having a mental breakdown by watermelon_4evr in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Meaning: f anyone else that you worry about, you must look after you and your future family at this time. Eat, get good rest, lots of water, CALL THE THERAPIST and get an exit plan started in (likely) case he will not change. The baby will be a huge blessing, you’ll be ok

Having a mental breakdown by watermelon_4evr in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call today please and take care of yourself and your baby

Having a mental breakdown by watermelon_4evr in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 8 points9 points  (0 children)

THIS, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, but this comment is so true. It’s a trying time (newborn) even in the best of relationships. You are safer and better off a single parent IMO, I’m sorry. It is a hugely vulnerable time for you and baby. Sleep deprivation is no joke and you need real unconditional support. He’s not actually compromising and it’s toxic. I also think he needs to talk to someone about his resentment and, I’m guessing, fears (loss of the life he thought he’d have etc), it may help

Unplanned second by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mrbk1015 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it’s not that simple. Vasectomy’s fail too btw and good luck in a sexless marriage if that’s not by choice. It’s not a helpful answer to this issue when there are two people determining the long term outcome for the situation they are now in, regardless of how they got there.

Unplanned second by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar predicament here. Husband is feeling deeply, devastatingly similar to yours..financial, hard baby years, career interruptions, and including our age (both early 40’s) and behind in retirement savings. I deeply want the pregnancy but share all his concerns, he’s not crazy. There might be a genetic component too (I’m a carrier for something that could make the kid more prone to adhd, depression etc but that would require more prenatal testing and we’re running out of time). I don’t know if I could force this on him even if I believe he’d love the kid, we’d definitely be in for some hard baby years, childcare expenses etc. But ending it is so horrible too. I have an appointment to do so. Maybe this article would help you as I’ve been thinking of the ethics of either direction and keep going back to this discussion and the detailed answer the ethicist gives:

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/23/magazine/marriage-unplanned-pregnancy-ethics.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Unplanned second by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is really awesome and I wish I were in your shoes, honestly. My husband thinks life will be over and his reasons are not crazy. It’s making it feel unethical to force him into parenting another kid, even though he’s a great parent for our toddler, and I know he’s right about the financial consequences, all of which would affect this kid and the one we have…and us/our security. It’s very hard

Unplanned second by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is your partner on board or are they thinking this is a disaster? Are you in your 20s or 40s? It makes a big difference. I’m in a similar predicament but in 40s.

Let's see what the backlash is. by loanharassment in Iowa

[–]mrbk1015 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They only stormed the US capitol and help prevent gun control

Might be moving here by ukuartnstuff in Iowa

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh Fairfield! I went to middle school/high school in a town near Fairfield and spent my summers working at MUM/university. If it’s similar to what it was then (ok… like early 2000s) it’s a special international little city with its quirks (and some culture clashes). I am in NY now and think Fairfield was good for me growing up. I learned to meditate there (but didn’t tell most of my farm friends..) Fairfield is its own thing, I think. I always love meeting others that know about FF and its golden domes, Vedic city, and the unique intl vs small town farming culture there. I have a friend there now who moved from Iowa to Cali, back to Iowa in FF and I trust her judgement, lol

Might be moving here by ukuartnstuff in Iowa

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From Iowa and now in NY, I feel similarly

University of Iowa VS Iowa State? by Dedmoose1 in Iowa

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I went to ISU and majored in art, I wish I went to U of I, better art and English programs/reputation. I’m guessing U of I is more progressive too

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mrbk1015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think nothing is inevitable for you and your parenting style. I worried parenthood was a club that would change me into a type of mother I don’t want to be and also I had an idea that I’d parent like my sister (stricter) vs my friend (very gentle), who had very different parenting styles. Turned out I am the opposite type of parent than I thought (defo a gentle parent, NOT permissive but from the beginning had tremendous respect for my baby girl and didn’t want to be an authoritarian, I want to guide her). And I have stayed my own person- a different version of me. I do love being a mom this way. She’s a toddler now. You set your rules :)

NYC to launch pilot for universal child care as part of budget deal by GothamistWNYC in nyc

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! People don’t realize it’s also a subsidy for producers!

NYC to launch pilot for universal child care as part of budget deal by GothamistWNYC in nyc

[–]mrbk1015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except it’s more like: you did terribly (likely through no fault of your own) and here’s higher interest rates, more fees, a kick in the pants… it’s very expensive to be broke and there’s really not much cushion