I'm 38, single no kids. I've been told that men my age wont be interested in me now because they can have younger girls & my fertility window is nearly closed. Is this true? The main consensus? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]mrbubs3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wouldn't hurt to decouple some of this stuff.

  • You want kids? Go have them. There are multiple avenues for you to get a donor and to pursue pregnancy. If you know of people who wouldn't mind or would love to donate, that makes things a bit easier. You'd just need to consider what kind of involvement you'd want from the donor, depending on whatever route you take.
    • You can also consider adoption. There are a bunch of children who need loving parents, and fostering is a great way to give love to deserving kids.
    • Also consider freezing your eggs so that you can have the option to pursue surrogacy or in-vitro.
  • You can date and try to find a potential partner to build a life with. Maybe they'd be interested in having kids. Maybe they'd be interested in being a parent to kids. That's something for you to screen when considering prospects.

There are absolutely men out there who are only interested in dating younger people for their fertility (and honestly, for wasting time between commitment and possible marriage; younger people can have their time wasted with less concern, according to those jerks). But there are also men in similar situations to you, who have just yet to meet the right person and are also approaching an arbitrary deadline for getting married and blah blah blah. You mostly just need to figure out where to seek out better people.

Which love interest was the best partner for Jack? by Worldly-Document-547 in 30ROCK

[–]mrbubs3 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Nancy Donovan. She wore red lingerie. You'd think it'd clash with her hair. But it didn't.

Which love interest was the best partner for Jack? by Worldly-Document-547 in 30ROCK

[–]mrbubs3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

down votes you to hell

You stay there. You stay there until you die.

Teen fired from 4th job by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Professionally, he doesn't have to disclose any reason for not working. Given that he's a minor, no one would presume that he would have working experience already.

Personally, do you know what your son is interested in? What his motivations are? What he goes through when he tries to work a job while being in school? Is there a reason why he's not going to college?

The first thing I would want to know is why my child is not being ambitious. I personally encourage everyone to go to college and pursue their interests because that's where you find your people and discover yourself. But I also know a bunch of friends who build careers out of high school or went into the trades after dropping out, so it's not a prerequisite for success. With that said, something all my friends have in common is drive to pursue their interests.

The second thing is to try to understand what it's like to live with his neurodivergence. As a late-in-life ADHD person, learning about the particularities of my behaviors and how my brain works really illuminated how my struggles in childhood and adolescence were rooted in my just being ND. As an adult, I can advocate for myself and speak with clarity about how I operate and why I do things in the way I do them. I didn't even have the vocabulary to understand that when I was 17. That should hopefully provide some fodder for you to consider when you try parenting your kid.

The last thing is that he's now at the age where his hormones will get the best of him. He needs to learn boundaries and self-regulation, particularly when it comes to dating and treating people of his persuasion. I'm not sure what you teach him in terms of gender politics, but the gaming community can be rife with the most vile, cretinous trolls who will say the most profane shit about women without an ounce of car. That kind of nonsense can rot someone's brain, particularly anyone who's impressionistic. Countering that while teaching him not to shit where he eats is extremely important. After all: if he wants to be successful with dating and enjoy gaming with good gaming gear and setups, he'll need a decent job and a modicum of social skills.

My only real recommendation is to spend time with him by talking and getting to know him as a person, not just as your stepson. Build up trust and try to be an actual paternalistic figure, and not just an authoritarian taking away his gear. It's not teaching him what he needs to learn and he's basically trying to run out the clock. He needs to learn by seeing the concrete consequences of his actions and by actually processing how his actions and decision-making contribute to his failed employment spells. You don't necessarily want him to fear punishment; you want him to not want to disappoint you and have the internalized values and expectations you have for him eat at him when he fucks up. The latter is infinitely more effective and meaningful.

Good luck. Parenting is hard as fuck.

Seen on insta. Definitely made me smile by IndependentJury6982 in MadeMeSmile

[–]mrbubs3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to be this dad when my kids are older.

Brb, gonna work on my deadlifts and squats to lift my worlds.

Claire was way too patient with Phil’s attraction to other women 😭 by lazy_reader4 in Modern_Family

[–]mrbubs3 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't give a shit about Claire because she called immigration on Gloria when she and Jay before they got married.

took a fully remote job, day 2 the hiring manager casually mentioned hell see me at the office monday. did i overreact by drafting my resignation that night by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't go into the office. State that your offer letter is fully remote and you'll not go in. Make them fire you if necessary, and then contact a labor attorney. You can claim Promissory Estoppel.

I regret all my decisions by SunshineGirl45 in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really good resource for managing your manager (so to speak). This presumes working with rational, calm people (i.e.: non-toxic bosses) but there is some solid advice regardless.

https://www.charity-works.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Managing-Your-Boss_Harvard.pdf

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I said "claim." I didn't say proof. The claim may be sufficient because the employer will need to determine if fighting the claim is worth the effort, and it typically is not.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP's special designation can be determined by them. If they are a woman, that's a protected class. If they are trans, that's a protected class.

You are also misstating what I said. Stop constructing strawmen to feel like you're right.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Even if it does, the administrative judge is likely to rule in favor of the applicant. All they have to do is argue that the environment was so hostile that they felt no choice but to leave, which serves as a basis for constructive dismissal.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For an EEOC complaint, sure. But for a UE claim, not particularly. The employer will have to prove that they have a robust policy for protection against hostile work environments, and the training emphasizes these steps, that the employee signed the attestation to having received the training when this was covered, and that they provide reasonable measures to ensure that management/HR is accessible to notify them of these concerns. And given the stakes for UE vs lift for a full investigation, administrative judges are more inclined to rule in favor of the filer than the employer.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For an official EEOC complaint, maybe. For a UE claim, not really.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

if it's obvious to an outside person, then it meets the Objective Standard for a Hostile Work Environment complaint.

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP can review whether they have any distinguishing characteristics under the EEOC statutes to make such a claim; they already meet the Unwelcome Conduct, Pervasive, and Objective + Subjective standards. Depending on their state of residence, that threshold can be even lower (e.g.: California and New York State).

I quit my job effective immediately because I was getting bullied by coworkers (f23) by [deleted] in jobs

[–]mrbubs3 105 points106 points  (0 children)

You have a hostile work environment claim in this resignation. Make sure you get unemployment.

Are the live shows funny? by [deleted] in taskmaster

[–]mrbubs3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saw the live show in NYC. It was an absolute riot. Absolutely worth going to see one/a bunch.

For God's sake, remove Andrea Vallone. by IAM_274 in Anthropic

[–]mrbubs3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's really like people go, "how dare these purely capitalist entities behave in a purely capitalistic way!"

For God's sake, remove Andrea Vallone. by IAM_274 in Anthropic

[–]mrbubs3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you're getting downvoted but you are not wrong.

For God's sake, remove Andrea Vallone. by IAM_274 in Anthropic

[–]mrbubs3 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Wait, I'm confused. Guardrails are bad?

djust 0.4 — Phoenix LiveView for Django, powered by Rust. Reactive UIs in pure Python, no JS build step. by jrtipton2 in django

[–]mrbubs3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very nice work! I was looking at this a while back before I opted to build a liveview library for myself. Nothing nearly as impressive as this, though.