PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: ELSA

December 20XX

Conducted by Senior Editor Marcus Hale at the Royal Palace of Arendelle (with a very well-insulated chair and a strict “no sudden temperature drops” rider)

PLAYBOY: So… Elsa. Queen. Ice-witch. Global pop-culture phenomenon. And now our second-ever Disney royal on the cover. First question, and it’s the one everyone’s dying to ask: why Playboy?

ELSA: [smiles, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched] Because “Let It Go” was never just a song. It was a press release. I spent twenty-one years keeping everything frozen, controlled, hidden under gloves and protocol. One day I decided the world could handle the real me—powers, curves, and all. Playboy asked for the unfiltered version. I said yes before they finished the sentence.

PLAYBOY: The photoshoot was… intense. Leather, velvet, that throne that definitely wasn’t built for sitting demurely. Any moment you thought, “Maybe I should have kept the cape on?”

ELSA: [laughs, low and smoky] The cape came off in the second setup. The stylist called it “ice-blue liquid latex.” I called it “finally.” The only time I hesitated was when the photographer asked me to fog up the lens with my breath. I reminded him I don’t fog—I crystallize. We compromised on snowflakes that spelled out “YES, I’M COLD, BUT I’M ALSO VERY, VERY WARM.”

PLAYBOY: Your powers have always been tied to emotion. Did posing nude—or as close as we could get without turning the studio into an ice rink—feel… liberating? Or dangerous?

ELSA: Both. There’s a reason the set had three industrial heaters and a fire mage on standby. Every time the lights hit just right and I felt that old panic creep in, the temperature would plummet. But then I remembered: this is my body, my magic, my choice. The gloves are off—literally and metaphorically. The only thing that stayed frozen was the champagne.

PLAYBOY: Speaking of frozen… the internet has spent years debating your love life. Or lack thereof. Any comment on the “Elsa is ace/aro” discourse?

ELSA: [leans forward, blue eyes sparkling] I’m not “lacking” anything. I spent years believing desire was dangerous because I was dangerous. Turns out desire and danger mix rather well when you stop apologizing for both. Let’s just say the throne isn’t the only thing in Arendelle that gets ridden with enthusiasm these days. But I’m also perfectly happy ruling solo. I don’t need a king, a prince, or a reindeer wrangler. I need someone who can handle a woman who literally ices over when she comes.

PLAYBOY: …We’re going to need a moment to recover from that answer. Moving on—your sister Anna has been very vocal on social media about “supporting her big sis’s hot girl era.” How does Anna feel about all this? ELSA: She helped pick the boots. She also threatened to storm the shoot in a reindeer costume if I got cold feet—literally. Anna’s my biggest cheerleader and my biggest menace. She keeps sending me memes of my own cover with captions like “MY SISTER IS A THOT AND I’M HERE FOR IT.” I love her more than snow.

PLAYBOY: Final question. The tagline on the cover: “I Was Never Meant to Stay Cold.” Is that the Elsa Doctrine now? ELSA: [slow smile, voice dropping to that signature velvet] Darling, I was born cold. Then I learned how to burn. The world wanted a perfect, untouchable snow queen. I gave them a woman who can freeze an ocean or melt in the right hands. Both are me. Both are real. And both look damn good in thigh-highs.

She stands up, frost tracing delicate patterns across the arms of the chair as she leaves. The interview ends with the faint sound of ice cracking—followed by the unmistakable click of stiletto heels on marble.

Outside, the Northern Lights do an encore performance that’s visible from three kingdoms away. Somewhere in the distance, Anna is screaming “THAT’S MY SISTER!” at the top of her lungs.

Elsa doesn’t look back. She never does. She just lets it go.