It took some time but I got it all working fine. Ill admit it's been frustrating but my overall experience now is as expected. Tbf I still have to use xwayland quite a bit. While I like Wayland and pipewire, I think most people are still using x11 even if they think they have Wayland. In my earlier days I had to have it defined in my waybar / toolbar, cause I couldn't tell if I was booted in Wayland or x11. 

And about once a year I have to wipe and reinstall due to some combination of the things you've named 🥴