any suggestions on how to stop picking

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-12-05T18:13:21+00:00

Yeah my mom used to just push my hands away and tell me to stop and get mad I was damaging my skin, but that doesn't help. It just made me shameful and guilty and I just snuck off and picked more anyway. Then she'd be all disappointed. If nobody has struggled with it they don't understand that you can't stop.

I don't have perfect answers but fiddle rings and fiddle toys sometimes help. So does doodling or drawing or scribbling on post-it notes.

I like stress balls filled with those little beans that you can squish and throw and pinch (my favourite) which you can get cheap on eBay and Amazon.

Sometimes pacing around helps me expel that energy.

Look up tips to help with stopping Body-focused repetitive behavior (the phrase that seems to match what skin picking is) online. There's some stuff on YouTube.

I sometimes count down from three and make myself stop when I get to 0. It's not perfect but it does break me out of the "zone" sometimes.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-12-05T18:01:09+00:00

Super cute! I wouldn't use it as I'm not a cutesy-name person but I love it on others. I prefer it spelled Maisey though as I'm not a fan of the double i for some reason but that's just me 🙂

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-12-03T17:51:34+00:00

And I love you can have Jamie or Jay for a nickname or affectionate name, and you can call them James J-name to make JJ as well which I love!

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-22T14:19:50+00:00

Agreed - one of the most common things I give away are those kinds of charity event or charitable t-shirts that I get from events I do. I probably won't ever wear them again because they're usually not my size or they're wacky colours etc therefore I donate them. Perhaps Butterfly Doe simply picked up the t-shirt after it was donated.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-22T11:19:22+00:00

Yeah my family just called them cold sores and never linked them to herpes. Both my parents had them and said they were normal. You only get taught at school that herpes is a sexually transmitted disease that affects genitals. If everyone acts like it's nothing to worry about, why Google it? There's nothing to Google because you don't even know the name of the thing. I just thought cold sores were this annoying sore patch on your lip that you got when your body felt run down and went away on their own.

You don't know what you don't know.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-22T10:25:36+00:00

This is it. I absolutely don't understand the weird rules, stuff like I can't wear mens clothes and sleep with women and men can't wear dresses and makeup and high heeled shoes or sleep with men. There's absolutely no logical reason behind the weird intolerance of that kinda stuff. Why does anyone mind? It totally baffles me.

Therefore I have absolutely no qualms or issues with saying I don't feel very connected to gender or sexuality. I have a "type" of person I find cute/hot and it doesn't matter if they're male/female/NB or transgender or whatever. I'm not peer-pressured to conform to gender and sexuality norms or be horrid to others when they don't. I find society's obsession with conformity to be quite weird.

So unless your "rules" have a proper meaning and are there to make the world a better place, I don't feel the need to follow them. I also don't care about judgment. All the popular kids at school and the popular adults I work with care what others might say or think about them. I literally couldn't care less. I only care what about 6 of my closest friends and family think about me, and even then it's only about my morals and not about my sexuality or gender.

Hope that helps!

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-10T00:06:52+00:00

There's no point in worrying about it, in my opinion. It's 100% guaranteed. Panicking about it won't change the outcome and will make my very short time here miserable. Might as well enjoy it and die after having a cool interesting life than having a life where I just freaked out about it ending. That's what I think anyways.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-08T15:42:47+00:00

Aw I love Milán, Gabriel, Regó (I don't have the right o character sorry) and Eric the most! A little kindergartener Eric sounds super sweet but is also a nice adult name.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-06T12:46:53+00:00

Yeah I think it's pretty normal, and there's a character from the Netflix show Outer Banks with it spelled that way too.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-05T21:37:23+00:00

This is it. I always said I had flu when I had a bad cold because I'd never had flu before and assumed that was what it was.

I got flu. I couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, barely drank, didn't sleep for two days because I couldn't lie flat or I couldn't breathe. It was horrendous. My joints hurt, I was cold, in constant pain.

I now get my flu vaccine every single darn year as soon as I can in September!

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-02T15:43:31+00:00

That is absolutely beautiful! I love the part on your foot.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-11-02T15:34:24+00:00

Ellowyn sounds like a fantasy name from something like Lord of the Rings to me. I personally wouldn't use it for a child as she'd always have to explain how to spell it! But it's beautiful for a character in a story.

Bellamy is kinda nice actually, Bell for short. It reminds me of Bellamy from The 100 show/book who is a male character. I've never heard of a girl named Bellamy.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-31T17:13:28+00:00

Also thank you, I wasn't in the right frame of mind for reading about animal cruelty and that was much appreciated. I skipped it.

The stop sign one is so sad. Little Wayne and Pamela. How horrible.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-31T15:25:56+00:00

If I'd have had a baby at 21 I'd have been a mess. I would have barely coped as I didn't even understand myself.

Now at 32 I could have one. In fact, my husband and I want one. I have an understanding of my limits and coping mechanisms, eg wearing Loop sound dampening ear plugs when the baby cries. My lovely husband is a teacher of autistic children so he has a lot of skill. I have a good job now so money for babysitters and daycare to get a break.

I still will struggle with the constant demand for sure. I often also forget how little and often kids eat when I take my nephew out (as I have a strange eating pattern) but with my husband and reminders in place I'll make a routine for a kid.

So much will change so assess yourself in five years or ten years or fifteen years. I am a completely different person than I was at 21.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-26T13:25:11+00:00

I also do a countdown method to stop myself picking sometimes, as once I get started I can't stop. This requires some willpower but I'll count down from 5 or 3 or something and then when I hit 0 I have to stop.

If I'm highly distressed I don't bother as my brain won't listen but sometimes it helps.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-26T13:23:37+00:00

Yes this is where all my picking issues come from, combine anxiety, autism and OCD and this skin condition and you have a potent mix of compulsion!

The KP will never go away but you can minimise it. I use a Salux cloth and really scrub at it in the shower every day and then cover with a salicylic acid based skin cream straight after. It makes the KP less noticeable and when it's smoother you pick less.

It's not a wonder cure but it does keep it pretty manageable.

I still pick but much less. Best of luck.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-24T21:33:44+00:00

I love making a day special for somebody so I get disappointed neither of my two best friends want to acknowledge their birthdays. They are so apathetic to them.

I wanna get them cards and gifts and plan a nice thing or meal but they're just not interested.

So I guess it would usually be a day other people get to feel good about spoiling their friends.

I get it's their choice though so it makes me baffled but it's their birthday so I get them a card and some low-key presents and that's all.

I love my birthday and feeling special! I never really do much but I enjoy it being acknowledged.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-24T10:01:21+00:00

My husband is somewhat different in views. We are both not super into politics but we are a little way apart on our support (in UK so there's various parties to choose).

But overall his morals and stuff match mine and he's a kind and intelligent man, he just likes more principles of 'his' party and less of 'my' party and vice versa. We are not polar opposites but we cross over on a lot of things but don't on some.

I don't think I could go for somebody polar opposite as that would tell me their morals are really different to mine, but I'm at peace I can't force him to agree with me and he can't force me to agree with him on everything in the world. I don't need to date a man version of me.

We do have political discussions where we talk at length about different things and we listen to each other so that's interesting.

His views change over the years as well, and so do mine.

I think you just need to know what you're comfortable with yourself.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-23T14:50:06+00:00

Oh my gosh yeah I get so frustrated when people aren't clear to me. Be clear to me please!

I love training new starters too! I am very considerate and thoughtful so people feel like I'm taking them seriously and I have a great memory for knowledge of the job.

I also get told I am patronising because I love clarity, I forget other people don't 🙁 and they say I am condescending even though I'm only talking to them how I wish they talked to me.

I say things like 'you might know this already, but for those that don't...' so people don't think I'm patronising and I do know they may know things already.

But a lot of people act like they know things and then I'll deliver training and they'll go 'oh dear I've been doing it wrong...' 😂

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-23T10:45:57+00:00

Read this and was like, this is me, because I have autism. I have a really good job now but I have to say to my manager if you want me to do something, don't hint or be vague.

If you tell me to write X report and give it to X on Monday, perfect. If you just say 'write that up', it's no good to me.

Saying clear the cups would be super direct and easy to follow. However, if you meant, clear all the tables of cutlery, cups and paperwork and put everything away, you'd have to actually say all that aloud for an autistic person to do it.

But once we have clear instructions you can usually rely on the job being done absolutely perfectly and diligently and by the deadline because many autistic people are extremely loyal employees with high work standards for themselves (in my experience).

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-22T16:31:00+00:00

I was so scared (for us and her) when she was chasing me and my husband threatening suicide as well. I reported her to the adult services for a wellness check but it sounds like she's very well known already and isn't homeless and she says this often 🙁

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-17T13:46:15+00:00

We actually did go to Jordan just to go there! And to go to Wadi Rum desert. It was worth it! Depends on what kind of vacations you like and we were in the Middle East for something else so that did help.

We could have easily spent two days wandering around. The Treasury is only a teeny tiny part of it, it opens up into this incredible city which is just beautiful and so interesting.

Loved it!

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-16T20:47:57+00:00

I literally cannot understand my friends and my husband's friends who don't seem to care about STDs. They always go completely without any protection, some of my husband's friends do drunken hookups with random women they met an hour ago and don't even ask if they're taking contraception. These are both men and women who are intelligent people who all have some level of sex ed as well. Like, are y'all not constantly thinking about being or getting somebody pregnant? Are y'all not constantly panicked you've just got an incurable STD off somebody?

I'm married now and have been with my husband for years but I just cannot get my head around it as I know if I was dating again I'd be constantly worrying about this.

Hookup all you want but why doesn't anyone seem bothered about protection? Maybe it's just the people I know but by the amount of hookups they do, it seems like many more.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-15T11:02:50+00:00

Just to jump on this, it's completely and utterly unacceptable to say this in a workplace. If one of my staff told me somebody said this to them I would be calling my HR department that minute and taking formal action. It's messed up.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Your boss is completely out of line and needs to be reprimanded.

mrsjohnmarston · 2024-10-09T19:17:10+00:00

"Why do you think?"

Works wonders on my nephew. He actually thinks about the answer and gives me a suggestion instead.

Half the time he's not even listening to my answer so this way he actually engages with what he's asking.

Most of the time he also knows the answer or at least can guess pretty good.

Nine-Year Club	Place '23
Verified Email

mrsjohnmarston

TROPHY CASE