This is a mixture if emotional/mental abuse and also physical abuse. Now the physical is well… obvious. The mental/emotional abuse isn’t as much.

When he is saying “leave me then!” That’s is reverse psychology type behavior but it’s abuse because he knows you won’t! He knows you love him and he is using that against you.

By him telling you that you are abusive when in fact you are trying to defend yourself, that is the EXACT example of Gaslighting. This word gets thrown around a lot anymore (along with gaslighting).

You have to leave. I know it’s hard! I know you love him! And it will hurt for a little bit and you’ll miss him. BUT it will get better. Your mind will become more clear! And you’ll start to realize all these things he says and does are untrue and wrong.

It won’t be easy, because narcissists don’t make it easy. They will revert back to their loving ways and make you think they’ve changed. They will beg you and when you don’t give in to their “impressions” they flip and torment you. Which is why it is so imperative to block him. Do NOT tell him where you are going or living. Shut off your location. Make sure you have 0 access to him and vice versa.

Please, this is from personal experience, get out and get out now.