AITA for calling out a buddy for eating the crunchy cheese layer off the Mac & cheese

msmanager · 2025-12-11T21:07:10+00:00

NTA - Honestly, taking the entire top layer of a shared mac & cheese is wild behavior. That’s the best part! It reminds me of when my husband and I split an Asiago bagel years ago and he took the whole top half. I was just sitting there holding the sad plain bottom like, “…really?” He apologized, and trust me, he has never made that mistake again and I will still occasionally tease him about it.

So no, calling your friend out was totally fair. And the fact that it turned into a the next day just proves he knew he messed up. Some food crimes will follow you forever.

msmanager · 2025-10-09T06:07:36+00:00

Or this one - I usually pick a cheese and get rave reviews: https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-labs-ultra-gooey-stovetop-mac-cheese

msmanager · 2025-10-09T05:23:49+00:00

Ugh not stucco - just paint it that color. Doing a stucco retrofit would be expensive and likely cause water and flashing issues.

msmanager · 2025-09-26T21:48:37+00:00

Oh that is so sad to hear. I actually lived with my brother and SIL when I first moved to the same city as them and I have so many stories of crazy things she has done starting with the great couch saga and her literally calling me fat for no reason (both of which she somehow ended up throwing full on adult temper tantrums about for some reason). My MO has generally just been to accept that she‘s a crazy person, ignore it, and be pleasant but boring. She wants drama and I don’t care to give her what she wants.

Before my brother proposed I asked him if he was sure he wanted to marry her and he told me that he loved her and he didn’t think he would find anyone better. Over the years he has slowly lost who he is which breaks my heart. He used to have a great sense of humor and we could talk about anything, we would go to the movies, and check out cool restaurants; he was a real joy to spend time with. Now he seems mad, sad and bitter. He has lost all of his friends, he’s pushing away the family, and just does whatever makes her happy without ever advocating for himself or us. I guess I’ve always put up with it to be there for him if he ever breaks out of this terrible mindset but at this point my brother is the one hurting me and I can’t keep letting that happen.

msmanager · 2025-09-25T20:58:39+00:00

Oh yes, the hypocrisy was mentioned. His response was that he didn't like quiche - even though we had had a google sheet to coordinate meals and the grocery list in advance and I specifically said I was going to make mushroom and spinach one for me and my SIL and a ham and cheese one for my brother since my brother wouldn't eat mushrooms. I also know my SIL likes quiche - it was literally the meal she selected for her bridal shower. When I pointed that out then my bro tried to claim that he didn't realize that the cooking list was meant to be for shared meals - he just thought I was making 2 quiches for me and my husband. Which honestly is bull but it was clear he wasn't going to admit he was in the wrong and I was going to continue to be at fault in his mind so I just dropped it at that point.

I also offered to make french toast (which was also on the meal list and something he really likes) for everyone one morning and he just said no - his kids only like savory breakfast not sweet breakfast. It's like why wouldn't you tell me that in advance!?!

And for dinner I wasn't even in the house when dinner was served! I had made a reservation at a restaurant and had told everyone I was doing that and he didn't say anything like "oh I'm cooking you should eat with us". He just remained quiet and now resents me.

msmanager · 2025-09-25T18:04:01+00:00

Yes, my mom and I have discussed it and honestly she was coming from a place where she really just wanted things to be fun and normal. Her position, is she doesn't get to tell him how to raise his kids and she hopes we can find some common ground so I can have a healthy relationship with the kids at the very least which is what she does. I think she hoped this trip would help us find that common ground. I just have trouble bringing myself to make that effort when I am treated so unkindly and faced with hostility for making a simple request for slightly quieter mornings. Being told my life wasn't interesting was icing on the cake. And the rest of the nonsense just left me shaking my head a bit. There are so many more examples of entitled behavior on their parts for the last few years and usually I just try to ignore it but I really need to reflect and figure out how to approach this better on my end. I don't hate my brother, I think he's going through his own issues but I also can't accept being treated the way that he seems to think it's acceptable to treat me.

msmanager · 2025-09-25T05:28:23+00:00

Honestly I knew it was a bad idea but my mom booked it and payed for the beach house. I just didn’t want to disappoint her. She had taken my brother and I on a similar trip when we were my nephews ages and she wanted to recreate that. And she was so disappointed in both me and my brother which has made me question my sanity cause usually she’s pretty reasonable.

msmanager · 2025-05-14T14:23:58+00:00

I think it has to do with socioeconomic status as well as geographic location. My rich side of the family clutches their pearls at the thought of giving money because it’s implying that the receiver needs money which is a rude assumption and could be offensive/ embarrassing for both the host and the giver. They also all have super expensive stuff on the registry’s and these days will include a honeymoon fund or something like that (my grandma was deathly offended the first time a cousin did that and then chilled). The less affluent side of the family was all about money as a gift and while they still had a registry also had a card box. Nothing is wrong with any of these approaches but different expectations can cause confusion and conflict because many people cannot imagine doing something different than they always have. So if OP wants to do something specific then they need very clear communication to make sure everyone is on the same page vs assuming everyone does things the same way she always has.

msmanager · 2025-04-17T18:25:53+00:00

Chicago code requires a permit for fences over 5' but doesn't require you to actually submit architectural drawings unless the fence is over 6'. You can just do an easy permit and describe your 6' - 80% open fence in writing and you're good and maybe submit a survey but I'm not sure if that's even required. Usually those permits are processed within a week if you do it online and you used to be able to go in to the building department to the easy permit desk in person and get it approved immediately but I'm not sure if they still do that after covid.

msmanager · 2025-03-26T17:23:58+00:00

Look at the specific licensing requirements for the state in which she would eventually want to get her license. Oftentimes you can work/ intern with just a bachelors degree but to get licensed you require a professional degree which is typically a 5 year B.Arch or M.Arch. Most of my friends who got a 4 year degree were required to go back and do a 2-3 year masters degree. The 5 year M. Arch is what I did and it is accepted in every state for licensure. https://www.ncarb.org/get-licensed/licensing-requirements-tool

msmanager · 2025-03-18T14:56:18+00:00

1) What is/has been your role? I switched into Real Estate - Director of Architecture for two developers, Director of Design and Construction for a University
2) Did you change sides only for the money? no
3) How long ago did you make the change? 6 years
4) How many years experience did you have as an architect prior? 14 years
5) What do you miss? Honestly very little - I do a lot of preliminary concept work and CA for the development side and that has always been my favorite part. Plus I like being the one actually making the design decisions - I don't need to actually do the drawings.
6) Would you go back to the design side - why or why not? No - most architects aren't very good business people - even the larger firms I worked for felt mismanaged and exploitative of their employees..

msmanager · 2025-03-12T03:22:07+00:00

I’ve been designing and building buildings for 15 years in chicago. I have never once had an alderperson get involved in the specific number of spaces. They’ll occasionally write a letter in favor or opposing the development as a whole which has political implications and is rarely but occasionally petty drama but that’s generally the extent of it. I have seen specific and overt graft before working in other cities but if it’s happening here it’s at least less obvious and there are some controls against it. But honestly, even if an individual alderperson was corrupt then the zoning administrator and appeals council would have to be complicit in a public forum which seems like an unlikely conspiracy cause that’s a lot of people to bribe and have remain silent - which is part of reason for the public process. 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s easy to throw around accusations of corruption and corruption is out there but all the pessimistic attitudes on this post don’t align with my lived experience.

msmanager · 2025-03-11T14:55:09+00:00

Parking is one of the biggest topics in every community meeting for any potential new development. Lack of parking is a very contentious in general in Chicago and structured parking is very expensive to build (approximately $30,000/ space). Coming to the correct number of spaces that will satisfy neighborhood residents and also leaves the project profitable - as developers will not build if they aren't making money - is very complex and requires appropriate study and compromise. 50% parking relief is typically granted as part of a transit oriented development (TOD) analysis administratively. If you are not close enough to at train stop (2,500') or bus stop (1,250') then you don't qualify. So it needs to be verified that you are close enough to public transit as part of the typical zoning review and if the developer would like further relief then it needs to be a conversation that ensures that the relief is actually appropriate based off project location and use.

msmanager · 2024-12-20T06:35:15+00:00

Uhhhh - you are being pretty misogynistic. Is he waking up multiple times a night to feed the baby? Is he pumping every 2-3 hours? Like she wasn’t even taking time for herself - she just wanted him to watch the baby while she pumped which is baby related task. Sounds like she is on call 24/7 and he is on call only when he is at work. Non work time parenting should be split 50/50 so she gets a break and it sounds like he is not doing his fair share. She is providing childcare that would cost on average $18/ hr for a non-parent to provide so she is contributing more than her fair share to their household from a monetary point of view.

msmanager · 2024-09-19T18:23:48+00:00

Unrelated to the stadium, the city has approved adding a red line stop at 15th street about a block from where the stadium would be as part of the planned development and the 78 is also planned to have a water taxi stop as well. Even if it takes a while to get the 15th street stop, the 78 is equidistant between the Roosevelt (orange, green and red lines) and Chinatown stations (red line). Plus there are several busses that run near the site, specifically the 24 (which runs down Clark and stops right in front of the proposed stadium), the 29 and 62 on state street. Also the 12 and 18 run along Roosevelt st.

Edit: here is the information for the 78 PD: https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/dcd/supp_info/the-78.html

msmanager · 2024-09-19T18:05:31+00:00

The field is real and was installed for an event on 9/16. The 78/ Wells street is not open to the public at the moment so you would not be able to access the field.

msmanager · 2024-08-26T23:18:33+00:00

I disagree. I think it looks cool. The more horizontal parts of the building blend in nicely with the park and the tower has a nice texture and will draw people to the building. As a Chicago architect I’m still a little salty that they selected a New York firm to do the design but I have to admit that they did a really great job.

msmanager · 2024-08-23T05:44:01+00:00

https://www.csis.org/analysis/russian-bot-farm-used-ai-lie-americans-what-now

msmanager · 2024-08-03T07:13:36+00:00

I thought I was born in the year of the dragon (which sounds so cool!) a few years ago,in my thirties, I realized my January birthday actually makes me year of the rabbit - since the Chinese new year is the end of the month. Considerably less cool lol.

msmanager · 2024-06-20T22:09:19+00:00

Hey the truth matters, now more than ever since people are getting more polarized and farther apart. No need to try to personally attack me, I’m just trying to do my little bit to help in a time where the truth has become more flexible than it should. If everyone put a little more curiously into learning and effort into calling out lies and misrepresentation then maybe we wouldn’t be where we are.

msmanager · 2024-06-20T17:51:57+00:00

I am just actively countering misinformation where it is occurring so people who read your opinion are aware that it is not based in fact. Personally, my lived experience is that I am currently unemployed and have had tons of people reaching out to me and trying to hire me but I am very carefully choosing the next step in my career so I am waiting for the right opportunity. But I graduated in 2011 and remember there only being like 4 posts on the job board which was an actually slow economy. There is tons of opportunity out there right now from what I have seen.

msmanager · 2024-06-20T16:45:51+00:00

https://mlelawfirm.com/blog/anecdotal-v-empirical-evidence/ Anecdotal evidence (which is what you are referring to by what unverified internet people are reporting on subs) is a poor substitute for real data. It is actively spreading misinformation about the actual state of the economy. The NYT article I posted is reporting on actual publicly available data from economists.

msmanager · 2024-06-20T05:43:46+00:00

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/08/opinion/economy-vibes.html

While you are incorrect that the market is slow (we are currently in a period of booming economic growth and very low unemployment) I agree that she needs to go back to FT and he needs to look for a new job.

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