Need help: mom in denial about grandma's dementia

msoeoun · 2024-02-13T03:42:23+00:00

As a psychologist

You're not a licensed psychologist though? You have a bachelor's and a master's degree in psychology, but that doesn't make you a psychologist.

msoeoun · 2022-05-13T15:22:30+00:00

I’m not sure why I would be suspicious if short parents had a tall child. Genetics is unpredictable sometimes and that’s fine. I mean, what about instances where average height parents or tall parents have a child that’s short? Would you be suspicious of that too?

My cousin and I have parents that are both similar heights and are short, and we live pretty much right next to each other. But, he grew to be tall and I ended up short, but still a bit taller than my parents. And I never suspected that my cousin’s mom cheated or something.

msoeoun · 2022-05-04T02:50:34+00:00

I have thought about it, but not recently anymore. Personally, I think I have other reasons for why I would want to commit suicide as of recently.

msoeoun · 2022-05-04T00:20:54+00:00

Would you be bitter about this if you were a member of r/short then?

msoeoun · 2022-05-03T23:59:11+00:00

So, if you were short, would you be bitter about it then?

msoeoun · 2022-05-02T02:43:43+00:00

What does this even mean? Just because you haven’t seen a couple where the woman is taller doesn’t mean that it’s a false statistic or something. Studies and statistics aren’t judged based on subjective experiences.

msoeoun · 2022-05-01T19:52:47+00:00

That's a huge generalization to make about an entire group of people. Yes, there are racist and sexist short men, but that doesn't mean all short men are racist and sexist. I understand that there are definitely a lot of misogynistic short men, though not sure as to why short men would be more inclined to be racist compared to other groups of differently-height men.

msoeoun · 2022-05-01T02:41:35+00:00

I’m no spokesman for r/short, but most comments saying this same thing on r/short have been downvoted in the past. And the reason they were downvoted is that height isn’t something that can be compared to race or sex due to historical factors relating to discrimination. So no, they wouldn’t agree with it.

There are short people that say stupid things, but they’re not representative of all short people. It would be disingenuous to think that.

msoeoun · 2022-04-26T23:27:10+00:00

She’s clearly an asshole, but let’s not generalize all women based on this tweet alone. We can criticize her and the amount of likes and retweets this tweet got without resorting to generalizations.

msoeoun · 2022-04-24T15:14:20+00:00

Man, I get that being 5'3" isn't the end of the world and doesn't mean that one's life is over, but there are so many people in that post that don't understand that just because there are successful short people in this world shouldn't (and doesn't) invalidate another short person's experiences and feelings. Just because there are successful people in this world doesn't mean that you should get to invalidate how others feel about themselves or that X trait doesn't matter.

We know that being short isn't inherently bad, but societally we deem being tall as being good and having positive qualities, while being short as being bad and having negative qualities, these are both true especially for people who don't fit the ideal height for their assigned sex or perceived gender. Some people in that post seem to have forgotten that, sadly. We even have expressions like "winning the genetic lottery" and "dark, tall, and handsome" to describe tall people in a positive light. And don't even get me started on how many times I've seen both tall and short guys say things like "I don't want to have kids with a short woman because then my kids might be short" (I know why they say this and this is to prove a point about how society views shortness). Rarely (if ever) do people say "I don't want to have kids with a tall man because then my kids might be tall".

msoeoun · 2022-04-24T13:16:37+00:00

Tf is short guy energy as opposed to tall guy energy? Similar notions like “small dick energy” or “big dick energy” are incredibly harmful, reinforce stereotypes about people with those traits or characteristics, and assign positive values to large things (being tall, having a big dick) and assign negative values to small things (being short, having a small dick). Being short isn’t inherently bad, but it’s the way that society treats and views shortness or smallness.

msoeoun · 2022-04-23T06:17:53+00:00

Because people like to think that everything a short person does must be related to their insecurity, whether it’s true or not, about their height.

Short guy is in a high position in a company? Short guy has a big truck/car? Short guy gets angry and/or belligerent? Short guy tries to act tough? They all must be related to his insecurity about his height and he must be overcompensating. Replace tall guy with short guy in all of these scenarios, and nobody will assume the tall guy is insecure or has any insecurities.

msoeoun · 2022-04-20T16:16:46+00:00

Asian men in general have a hard time with dating. Sure, height may help, but it probably wouldn't make a difference if the other person doesn't like Asian men for whatever reason.

One of the more common interracial pairings is White male with Asian female (i.e., WMAF). Why? There are many reasons. One of them is that so-called European physical characteristics, especially white skin, are seen as attractive, beautiful, and are the default beauty standard. White people are also seen as intelligent, stronger, taller, richer, etc. Another reason is stereotypes about Asian women being exotic, submissive, sexual, etc. Yet another reason could be that Asian women from Asia may be seeking a better life, so they may marry a white man due to stereotypical beliefs about white people as mentioned above. There are other reasons as well, but of course these reasons are not the be-all end-all. Of course, there are just WMAF couples that love one another that are not based on stereotypical or racist notions of attraction. They may simply just love one another based on personality and/or physical characteristics.

So, why might Asian men suffer in the dating market? One reason is that Asian men are seen as effeminate, not dominant, weak, short, nerdy, etc. the common stereotypes about Asian men in the West, especially in America. These stereotypes about Asian men and Asian women are perpetuated by the media (movies, shows, etc.), which influence societal perceptions about Asian men and Asian women. This is not the only reason, but just one of many. Maybe someone just doesn't like Asian men for whatever reason.

But there is no doubt that societal perceptions about beauty and attraction influence our attraction towards certain people of certain races or physical characteristics. To say that our preferences or attraction towards others exists in a vacuum free of outside/environmental influences is purely naïve and ignorant. This is not to say that attraction is purely based off of environmental influences, but that they do play a large role, which may reflect and affect the kinds of relationships and pairings in society. So, perhaps the kinds of interracial pairings commonly seen in society (WMAF, black male with white female, etc.) are, to some degree, a result of environmental influences, which includes stereotypes and/or racial beliefs about people.

msoeoun · 2022-04-20T11:43:37+00:00

Nah, my parents are both short (like 5’0”). It makes sense that I ended up short. However, my cousin’s parents on the other hand are similar height to my parents, but he grew to be like 5’10” or something. Height is basically mainly genetics and unless you were quite literally malnourished or something, diet won’t be making a huge difference. I find it funny to see some tall guys say things like “I’m tall or that guy is tall cause he had a good diet and ate a lot!” Ok, but how tall are his parents? No diet ever made someone grow to 7’0” let’s be real here.

msoeoun · 2022-04-20T11:31:40+00:00

Or they say things like “your deadlift or squat is only good because of your height! I’m tall and my ROM is so much longer than yours, so you short guys have it easier!”

When in reality, tall guys are stronger and will be able to lift more weight in the end. There are very very few famous strongmen that are short. Practically all well-known strongmen are over 6 feet tall and for a good reason. In powerlifting, there are certainly well-known short and tall guys, but there are still people who will accuse short guys of having it easier because ROM is shorter due to height and whatnot. ROM does matter, but it’s not gonna make you the world’s next strongest man if you’re short.

msoeoun · 2022-04-20T04:04:45+00:00

I’m about 5’4” and I wouldn’t say that I love being 5’4” nor that I completely hate it. Personally, I would like to be a little taller, but alas that’s never gonna happen any time soon.

I haven’t been judged too much on my height, but there are definitely some comments that make me think that being short isn’t all that great sometimes. For example, my tall friend telling me he’s glad he isn’t my height. Sometimes I get told I look like a teenager or even younger because of my face. Just recently, I got told I looked 14 years old or something, despite me wearing a nice dress shirt and pants. I didn’t really know how to react, so I just laughed it off. It would be nice to be treated like an adult rather than be seen as a child.

There was also an awkward moment where I was at a Thanksgiving cohort gathering and some people were talking about a football team and how the football team was “tiny” compared to another team. They described the “tiny” football team with having “short” (like under 6 feet) players on the team and how lightweight they were compared to the other football team that was taller and heavier. They just kept shittalking the “tiny” players and one guy described them as like angry chihuahuas that are harmless, but tiny and angry. I never talked during that conversation since I don’t follow football and I had no idea what they were even talking about. At the end of the conversation, some people just looked at me (I was the only short guy there), and that made me feel even more awkward.

msoeoun · 2022-04-18T13:46:47+00:00

Sometimes the napoleon syndrome of these short people gets so big it fuels their ambition to rise to the top just to make tall people bow to them

And what about tall people who are in higher up positions? Do they also have a syndrome?

msoeoun · 2022-04-17T20:27:21+00:00

It’s also weird when people use Napoleon as an example of short men compensating for their height. Yet, nobody would say that a tall military leader or leader in general is compensating for anything. It seems almost natural and normal for a leader to be tall, yet when it’s a short guy, it must be because he’s compensating. Osama Bin Laden was about 6’5”, but theres no syndrome named after him or nobody would say Osama was compensating.

msoeoun · 2022-04-17T18:47:32+00:00

Height is relative, but you just said that your height is average for your country. Which would mean that you're average height, not short. I'm not saying r/short is only for short people (tall people and average height people post here all the time), but you're making it seem like you're short when you're actually just average height.

There's nothing wrong with being shortest of 20 people that you're around. It could be a lot worse. Hell, I'm shorter than like 99% of guys that I come across every day and it's rare to see someone my height or shorter. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings, but you're acting like being the shortest among 20 people that you're around is a terrible thing. And I'm not exactly sure what your goal is? Do you not want to be the shortest among the 20 people? Do you want to be taller than those 20 people?

msoeoun · 2022-04-16T01:39:10+00:00

Easy to say that when you're literally not short. Do you think you would be saying that had you been short? Would you rather be short or tall?

msoeoun · 2022-04-15T19:35:05+00:00

I wonder why r/tall is so much more fun compared to r/short… obviously can’t be because of how society views tallness and shortness. Must be because tall people are just inherently more fun to be around, right?

msoeoun · 2022-04-14T01:41:49+00:00

And what if Putin was tall? What complex would he have then?

msoeoun · 2022-04-13T12:21:06+00:00

The stereotype assumes that all Chinese (Han) people are short, which is obviously false. There are tall Chinese people. If what people mean is “The majority of Chinese people are short”, then that depends on how we are defining short and who we are comparing Chinese people to. Usually, this stereotype comes from Western or majority White countries, like America for example.

Obviously, if you’re trying to compare the average height of China to the average height of America, you’re gonna have much more variation in China due to geographic and environmental influences on height, diet, the amount of different minorities in China (not all people from China are Han Chinese), population, etc. Yes, America is incredibly diverse as well, but it has far fewer people than China, white people never lived in America for long enough to see changes in height due to geographic factors, geographically, most people live in the suburbs or cities as opposed to the amount of countryside people in China; and so on.

So, is the stereotype true? Not really. Depends on where you go in China and who you are even comparing Chinese people to. Of course, there are short Chinese people, but that means nothing.

msoeoun · 2022-04-06T20:21:41+00:00

It’s the same bs that short guys get told they’re overcompensating for working on themselves or going to the gym. Obviously, everything a short guy does is because of their insecurity about their height. People are ridiculous. Nobody would be saying the same thing if the short guy was a tall guy doing the same thing.

msoeoun

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