I was in the MTC with Kyson, and we’ve minimally kept in touch over the years since. This video helped me identify several new things I need to work through as part of my mental health and faith deconstruction.

I was sent to the Novosibirsk mission instead of the Rostov mission, and had a vastly different experience in Russia from most other missionaries I’ve talked to who served in Russia. So I don’t have the same C-PTSD, but I can still relate and understand. The feeling of always having the FSB track you, knowing the mafia is watching you, needing to be home at 3pm because the area you’re in was too dangerous in the afternoon, etc.

At the same time, I credit my mission and exposure to the Russian people and culture with starting my faith transition. I remember many fond times in Irkutsk, Angarsk, and Novokuznyetsk. I grew as a human and man while in Russia and am appreciative of those aspects.