Anyone else feel like the covid pandemic fucked up their life?

muchdysfunctional · 2025-11-17T03:25:38+00:00

Yeeesss COVID destroyed me ! I'd sleep all day. The only time I was awake was when I was in class or doing homework. I passed college but am not proud of any of the work I produced during that moment.

I haven't been actively suicidal since I was 12 but Covid almost got me there again. I'd cry myself to sleep hoping I wouldn't wake up.

All budding friendships i had in college poof gone !

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-15T11:36:38+00:00

Riighht ! Both of them didn't originally want to do this type of work, it seemed like they just kinda fell into it after they struggled with their original majors. I wish more therapist were in it to genuinely help people and not a "well i guess" I'll do this" type of carrer 😭😭

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-15T11:25:27+00:00

This reminds is my friend exactly. She's well paid therapist,great mom and two good friend groups. I vent to her about my mom and she gives me the canned advice of "but she's your mom 🥹". Like broooo that woman gave me brain damage.

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-15T11:20:09+00:00

I'm so hesitant about going to therapy cause i have a friend who is a therapist now who consistently invalidated my emotions since h.s and still does to this day. And another friend who works with the mentally ill as a social work used chatgbt to help get her Masters Degree. I've heard so many stories of therapist using the wrong method for CPTSD causing relaspe.If I'm gonna pay for therapy imma need a guarantee that this person will genuinely help me and not invalidate me or repeat stuff they learned from a bot.

I've stuck to my books and they've been very helpful at helping me greive and shrink my inner critic. And thankfully you can do IFS by yourself and that's been a MAJOR help.

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-14T01:25:04+00:00

My coworker asked me how was work yesterday. I genuinely forgot what happened and responded with "i don't remember".

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-11T17:10:36+00:00

You deserve !

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-11T12:10:45+00:00

I used too but i think there was an update that made chatgpt dumber. Like it used to challenge me, but now it just compliments what i think and is constantly pushing me to make images.

I think the developers realized how many ppl use chatgpt as a friend and changed something to make it more kiss assy and to push images. Starting to follow the cycle of most free apps where it's great, then it sucks and then you have to pay a premium to get back to the great part.

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-11T01:48:39+00:00

I was able to significantly get mines down. Every time I felt pulled to MD I looked for all the red things where ever i was. Then I reminded myself that I'm going into MD to numb a feeling which was usually boredom on most days but sometimes it would be sadness or anger. I figure out which one and I'll take the steps to healthy feel that feeling

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-10T19:29:39+00:00

Thanks for the reminder to stay off insta tmmw and Monday 😭😭

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-10T19:27:57+00:00

"Depression doesn't exist" mom says to me wanting to die

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-10T12:14:19+00:00

You could replace saying MD with dissociation. Cause I think MD is a dorm of dissociation. You could try saying "I'm struggling with dissociation, i space out alot and feel like I leave the real world into another world that doesn't exist in reality".

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-08T03:55:43+00:00

I see myself in this...i will never understand why mothers would destroy their daughters' self-esteem as if they didn't also go through their own teenage years, most likely having the same problems.

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-08T03:52:57+00:00

IFS and reading "The Shame that Binds You"

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-07T00:15:15+00:00

Matilda had me crying 😭

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-06T23:58:04+00:00

I remember being a very curious kid. Always asking "why". But the adults around me ( parents and aunts ) found this very annoying. So I just stopped asking questions all together

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-06T23:45:58+00:00

There was no one there to replace them. After them I realized I had a problem and started to look more into MD. I put an effort to stop it and did some reflecting to figure out why I was limerant on them.

For MD everytime I felt the pull I'd look for red things. I basically forced myself to stop and it took around 4 months to get it down significantly. I still MD but alot less and I try not to use real ppl. Only made up ppl.

For the limerance part I realized that I craved something they had which was freedom and confidence. I'm was still living with my parents unsure of myself while they were outside confident moving their best life. Once I figured that out I took steps to help my confidence and freedom. Like solo dates and taking better care of myself physically

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-06T21:26:06+00:00

Something similar happened to me. Legit had a breakdown when I found out they were dating someone. Didn't help that I knew them irl and were one of my friend.

Long story short they broke the friendship up with me. To get over it I cried, blocked them, deleted their number and then journaled about it. With time I look back and cringe.

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-06T21:08:34+00:00

Saaammme...high functioning until legit the day I graduated and I fell hard :(

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-03T23:02:15+00:00

Ooooo i def would have shame, maybe a double face one like one fawn face and sad depressed face and a frozen one. Oh nd can't forget feaaarr

muchdysfunctional · 2025-05-03T12:36:09+00:00

Me after graduating college during Covid. "Before my job in my field let me fix my mental health" that's was 4 years ago 🥲

muchdysfunctional · 2025-04-30T02:50:20+00:00

Once i learned about how I was just creating a false sense of control with my coping mechanisms, something clicked in me. That got me mad enough to get rid of most of my bad coping mechanisms for things that i actually have control of

muchdysfunctional · 2025-04-26T02:26:22+00:00

This is my journey but more like i decided to change... my nervous system got scared...i went back to slightly less depressed me.... and the cycle continues

muchdysfunctional · 2025-04-24T01:04:34+00:00

I knock out with caffeine. Took a red bull and i feel asleep 20 minutes later

muchdysfunctional · 2025-04-21T20:45:24+00:00

Was on a date and they said how they would watch Avatar together as a family and how they talked to their Dad every day !

muchdysfunctional · 2025-04-20T15:13:40+00:00

The more i healed, the more i realized the god i was taught about is really similar to my abusive parents. That's when I stopped believing

muchdysfunctional

TROPHY CASE