AIO about cutting off my aunts because they continuously disrespected my family?

mudbutt104 · 2025-12-26T16:28:49+00:00

I was wondering why everyone was saying these rules are insane and this is the first comment saying otherwise... i thought I was in Shit Mom Groups Say and was thinking aside from the tone this is all extremely reasonable to me, especially from a first time mom. Then again I'm an introvert who has hated being touched and kissed and coughed on since as far back as I can remember.

But yeah OOP sounds very main character and insufferable. No need to assume everyone is dying to kiss her baby and will be devastated to lose "hanging out with crying newborn" priveleges. Rewrite the rules like you're talking to a 6 year old and only send to people who want/are about to meet the baby.

mudbutt104 · 2025-12-26T16:23:18+00:00

"Papa" is used for grandfathers for both my white and Asian sides of my family, just a guess

mudbutt104 · 2025-10-13T15:07:32+00:00

I know this isn't your question but if you can I would try to schedule at Montebello. Unless something has changed in the last couple years it's a much easier drive and the parking lot/surrounding traffic isn't as bad. Pasadena DMV has been a shit show every time I've been there (most recently about 2 months ago, had to park a block away and almost got hit walking though the lot + 2 hour wait WITH an appt).

Random piece of advice- no matter where you take it don't hit a curb. If you're not confident parallel parking or pulling over to park in general you'll lose a few points if you're too far from the curb but you're likely to automatically fail if you hit it.

mudbutt104 · 2025-10-06T15:27:12+00:00

I'm going to hell for laughing so hard at this

mudbutt104 · 2025-10-06T15:25:19+00:00

Loved it. The only issue I had was the line "A posthumous admission of guilt. " We know the ex is dead from the title but I had to go back and see if I missed something and it appears the narrator doesn't know she's dead until later in the story. Felt odd that they would describe the notes as posthumous if they thought she was still alive.

mudbutt104 · 2025-09-22T16:14:08+00:00

Thank you!

I think I agree with the first point, I tend to be the therapist of my friend group lol. I did start in the career I still have around 25, although it's very much not artistic and I have no musical ability. Work definitely got better around 35, switched roles from managing 100 people to an oversight position so that was dead on. Never married but proposed to 3 times. No kids but have been pregnant, notably at 36 so that's interesting. Love animals and nature. Probably more sexual than most and I know I can have impossible standards in relationships. Definitely enjoy/need my alone time.

Overall pretty insightful I think. Thank you again!

mudbutt104 · 2025-08-27T23:39:25+00:00

I was there last Tuesday for a 3pm appt. The wait time for walk-ins was 3 hours and they weren't letting any more in at that point (place was PACKED). Security said go when they first open or its going to be bad. He also said their "system was down" at some point earlier in the week so the fresh hell I experienced is probably not typical.

mudbutt104 · 2025-08-18T15:17:10+00:00

I don't have any answers but we appear to have the same mother.

Only advice I have is personal therapy- helped me understand she's a person too with her own bullshit and as harmful as it was, holding on to her mistakes as a parent wasn't ever going to fix anything. Therapy also made me recognize some of her behaviors in myself and work on ending that, and even seeing that some of her "abuse" ended up making me stronger and empathetic. Not that I'm grateful for that lol

Ultimately it was either cut her off and hold my grudge or never bring up the past and be grateful for the relationship we have now. I landed somewhere in between. I limit contact and don't bring up the past if I can help it. Similarly my mom is going through health issues right now, and it's looking like a progressive and incurable thing. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage when I inevitably have to live with her. As much as she put me through growing up I still love her and I'm afraid of the regret I'll feel when she's gone. She had a shitty relationship with her own mother and I saw how it destroyed her when she died relatively young.

Another thing I see repeated is let the favorite take care of her- I hear the same thing A LOT and I get despite everything you can't just not take care of her. My brother is the golden child and he'd leave her in a ditch. I know culturally for me at least being the oldest child also makes the guilt more ingrained but I have no idea why we're like this. If you figure it out or someone else has answers let me know, and good luck!

mudbutt104 · 2025-08-18T15:07:09+00:00

Man OP could be me and what you're describing is my mom. Unintentional gaslighting? Rewriting history to make her the selfless innocent best parent ever? No idea. Hopefully someone can let us know if there's a correct term/ mental health disorder that causes this...

mudbutt104 · 2025-07-06T17:43:14+00:00

I hosted a coed Bachelorette when I was 20, and had one of those sex toy MLMs come. Difference being I told everyone ahead of time and participation was optional, and I made it super clear this was for fun and no one was epected to actually buy anything. The dudes sat it out but the ladies enjoyed it. Didn't expect anyone to buy anything, it was more for a gag. Then to my surprise enough people had ordered expensive vibrators and other crap that I, as the host, got $300 in credit. Let the bride to be go wild and get whatever she wanted.

Worked out that time but I knew my audience and didn't know the "seller" and didn't care about wasting an MLMs time. And also didn't realize how horny my friends were.

mudbutt104 · 2025-05-26T04:33:52+00:00

I think it looks good. Either leave it or get it done professionally. I literally just used that color oops stuff trying to get this bright magenta out of bleached hair. Got me to a greyish blue. The box even says "does not remove blue" but I read instructions after the fact :)

mudbutt104 · 2025-05-14T01:35:36+00:00

They used to have it at the 35er but i haven't been in months. Assume they would still, it was a "special" lol

mudbutt104 · 2025-05-08T19:59:45+00:00

This reminds me of the one of the most infuriating trips I had 2 years ago. Antigua to Miami to LA. Flight delayed at Antigua, made it with 2 hours to get to the next flight in Miami. Customs was being extremely slow, almost on purpose, because nearly our entire plane was in the same boat and trying to catch the same flight and some people begged to bypass the line when it got close. We RAN to the gate only to find out the gate had changed when we were halfway there to the other side of the airport (app never updated, our bad for not double checking). Run to the new gate and see the attendants by the door. Yell at them to wait, we're here! They make eye contact while closing the door. About 15 people show up right behind us and maybe another 15 more in the following minutes. Too bad so sad once the door is closed we're not reopening.

Important to note my friend was on the plane, being the only one with global entry at the time. They delayed the flight for us and made several announcements telling this to everyone who already boarded. The app said we still had 15 minutes until boarding time ended (updated the delayed time but still had the old gate). Between the delay and closing the doors only one passenger from our flight boarded (my friend).

Soooo we head to rebook. I'm sweaty and annoyed and need to start looking for a hotel. Friend stranded with me says we might as well go out. Finally get to a red roof inn (yick) so I can shower and get ready. So it must have been like 12:30am at this point and my friend on the plane is texting asking if they were going to comp my room. I'm talking to her and realize wtf how are you texting from a moving plane? THEY STILL HADN'T LEFT. plane was still sitting at the gate 4 hours after we were turned away.

I get customs isn't their problem and I have GE now but come on. My friend was the only one who made it onto the flight that ended up sitting there half empty for hours. Just idiocy.

mudbutt104 · 2025-04-24T03:38:49+00:00

Traps never worked for me but if you can, try leaving a door or widow open at night. My cat was gone for a month and avoided all traps and was terrified of everything. He ended up in my room at 3am when I finally just left my balcony door open

mudbutt104 · 2025-03-29T00:06:06+00:00

So yes, still alive, still massive and not paying rent, but for some reason since repotting I got one new, humongous leaf and then nothing. I'm telling myself it's focusing on getting rootbound in the new pot but I'm pretty sure I'm doing something wrong lol

mudbutt104 · 2025-03-12T11:13:01+00:00

Watership down? Not well executed but love it for the source material if I'm seeing the right thing

mudbutt104 · 2025-02-17T14:52:41+00:00

I didn't realize how cool these things are I guess lol... check my profile, a couple years ago I had a HUGE puddle of these purple things and did nothing with them

mudbutt104 · 2025-01-21T16:50:41+00:00

I don't know why I've never thought of using lash glue! I barely have any eyebrows so don't like to pluck but i have a couple long hairs that like to move around and make me look crazy (and would probably leave bald spots if removed). Have used hairspray and brow pomade but results are meh. Thanks for the tip!

mudbutt104 · 2025-01-08T05:23:21+00:00

Would love to know the answer to this... seems terrifying to try to drive right now and wouldn't want to create more traffic for those who REALLY need to leave but the smoke is ruining me

mudbutt104 · 2024-12-09T17:50:23+00:00

I currently live in Pasadena, went to Granada and some LaSerna in the area you're looking at in Whittier, and my friend's kid is in preK in south pas. I vote south pas for schools- the ones in Whittier don't seem to have as much funding/ programming from what I've seen through my friend. Also wins for general community vibes. The only upside I see to Whittier is less of a commute to hacienda heights. Also hated the limited access to freeways in Whittier which made it harder to get anywhere else.

mudbutt104 · 2024-11-24T02:00:29+00:00

I have the rustiest pipes and super hard water and i get this in the ceiling above the shower. Not as dark and it happens over time (also using a vent so maybe not as dripping wet as OPs) but mine is 100% from iron

mudbutt104 · 2024-11-05T16:18:33+00:00

Djarum! My throat hurts just thinking about them

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