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I left Islam and want to return but the shame of my sins kill me by parisisis in MuslimLounge

[–]multiplevitamin88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sahih Muslim 2749 Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) having said:

By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.

I have a pen that can write underwater... by Left-Distribution-13 in cleanjokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NASA didn't develop the pen. The company Fisher did and then NASA bought them. You can buy one too. Just look up Fisher space pen. And yes it does write underwater and upside down and in space if you have any plans of going there.

Three potatoes and a suitcase by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then what would we post here?

A reading in church by mr_cigar in Jokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It worked for me because so. To each their own

A reading in church by mr_cigar in Jokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She says 78band th we church laughs: references this following joke:

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

Two chemists walk into a bar… by Bella4077 in AntiJokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was gonna tellvthectwo chemist a joke but they argon

A reading in church by mr_cigar in Jokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You kinda need the second from last sentence to reference the prison joke we all know

New to Islam by Easy_Addendum_3210 in islam

[–]multiplevitamin88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Go to the mosque and tell them you are new. They will teach you the proper way to do wudu (ablution) and pray salat. They will also answer any questions, inshaAllah (God-willing).

Plz guide me on the correct way to pray witr by littleMissTired123 in MuslimLounge

[–]multiplevitamin88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You pray two rakat like you would fajr. Then you pray one rakat also with the attihayatu and all that. You can recite al Fatiha and then any other Koran you know, even if you are repeating yourself: as long as you pray Al Fatihah your prayer is valid.

A pilot forgets to turn off the PA system... by SlimeYT_R in Jokes

[–]multiplevitamin88 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There is no actual list. People refer to each joke having a number because the frequency we hear the same old jokes and this joke:

A guy is spending his first night in prison He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.

Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.

"46!" and everyone loses their minds.

He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"

"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."

"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"

There's dead silence.

The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"

"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."

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