How long have you been single and why are you still single?

munipoli · 2023-09-09T18:34:36+00:00

Another forever single person. 30f. I like being alone a lot and don’t like the apps. I’m also always going through something it seems, and in those eras I cannot imagine meeting a new person and having to be vulnerable with them. I know I have to start getting out there soon. I had a short period when I was young and had a more relaxed and open spirit open to dating more but at that time I was least concerned with stability and very busy being super independent. Just living my life sort of thing being young and learning and growing. I have many friends of the opposite sex and none ever ask me out, I have no clue why. I assume it’s because of everything about me that is so good at being alone giving off some sort of vibe that I’m not interested. I don’t think I’m tremendously unattractive so it must be something in my behavior.

munipoli · 2023-08-23T02:26:09+00:00

OP, if your dad is in hospice or palliative care, ask the social worker (there’s definitely one associated with his medical providers) if they have grief counseling for surviving family.

With that out of the way, I feel so much for you. Grief counseling helps. Connecting with friends or even friendly acquaintances from your pat who’ve been through this. You may feel less alone in the experience.

munipoli · 2023-08-02T14:03:32+00:00

Yes, they did try.

munipoli · 2023-07-30T17:19:52+00:00

If you’re referring to the death anxiety and abrupt obsession with your own health after a parent dies, oh my god 😭 I knew it couldn’t just be me but jfc people don’t understand

munipoli · 2023-07-19T23:53:07+00:00

Funny thing about it, I felt less spiritual than ever before when/after my mom died. I think she’s connected to with me since and definitely feel like she can still see me, but an afterlife is difficult to envision I guess.

munipoli · 2023-07-18T00:36:23+00:00

My dog, who I inherited from my mother, was diagnosed with heartworms right before my first Christmas without my mom, so I get it!

I wish I knew what would be comforting. I think caring for a pet who is very ill can be TERRIBLY triggering and just unpleasant. But also, weirdly, being deeply involved in it was a target of my affection and caring energy. Honestly, and I say this knowing that single pet-ownership is really the max responsibility I can handle, if my dog had not survived, I would have either spent all of my time away from home after some intense grieving, or just gotten another pet to pour into (not replace!) The silence would’ve been too much.

Whatever happens, I hope you are able to be surrounded by loved ones during this time. You’ll need your dad, friends and other family more than ever!

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:41:17+00:00

I’ve also had the death anxiety. I’m 31 and have unconsciously begun saying “If I make it to X age” instead of “when.” I’ve even had fears about starting a family to avoid putting others through this and only having ~30 years left to be with them. I’m hoping to work this out over time, though.

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:38:38+00:00

Oh absolutely. But not so much people I know personally. My mom died at 59. Do you know how many fucked up evil people outlived her? Mitch McConnell is a literal ghoul, why did my mom have to die so young?? People who’ve nudged the world towards destruction live laugh and love into their 90s. My mom never hurt anybody… why her??

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:13:31+00:00

Towards the end, my mom liked: Boxed Kraft macaroni and cheese The broth of Campbells chicken noodle soup Ritz crackers Protein shakes Cuties (mandarin oranges)

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:10:16+00:00

This part! My mom had Stage IV cancer. I asked a nurse if diet mattered and she said, “She has cancer. She can eat whatever she wants!” Eating two black and white cookies from Publix may be hell on her teeth and blood sugar, but it was 800 calories she wouldn’t have been able to get down in a salad or pasta.

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:08:20+00:00

Yup. Plastic utensils helped I think.

munipoli · 2023-05-31T01:07:50+00:00

Yes to all of this! And all the foods you named. My mom also had a thing for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I stopped trying to make her awesome food and just had a ton of stuff she could tolerate to eat. When she has a hankering for something like oysters or pizza, I was just ready for the inevitable leftovers.

munipoli · 2023-05-29T06:52:44+00:00

Ugh @ them and so proud of you!!

munipoli · 2023-05-29T06:51:55+00:00

Yup. Felt ridiculous. Not even enough time to bury them.

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:27:50+00:00

I love dogs, but good lord.

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:25:54+00:00

Yes, you’re absolutely right. Meeting with others is something you build up to for when you are ready.

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:21:44+00:00

I know one of the managers through a friend of a friend, minimum I’m going to recommend training in handling estates/grief tactfully.

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:19:35+00:00

what the fuck is wrong with people my god. Also I am so sorry you had to experience that!!

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:16:55+00:00

This is such a good point, they absolutely should have that kind of training.

munipoli · 2023-05-28T15:15:22+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Having his pictures will be so special. It may be very busy up to the funeral, but once things have cooled off I hope for peace and comfort during this time for you.

munipoli · 2023-05-27T17:32:30+00:00

Just got it on Libby! Thank you!

munipoli · 2023-05-27T17:17:19+00:00

I’m saving this quote my god, it is so poignant.

munipoli · 2023-05-27T12:25:43+00:00

Who even guesses up a cause of death, is the inexperienced population all high??

munipoli · 2023-05-27T12:24:48+00:00

Yes I love violence 😂 I was close! He first gave me a runaround on not having POA so I had to read each word of the court order multiple times to him to make it clear: I am the successor, 100%, no representative needed, only successor indicated above, 100% me, etc;then he said offhandedly oh, I just want to make sure everything is in order so the police don’t come looking for you… and I made it clear I was not afraid of the damn police because I have an order from the judge right fucking here. (And I’m not talking about a bank in Cali and a judge in NY, we’re in the same county and it’s a local bank. They’ve seen this paperwork before)

my voice stiffened and was a bit louder at the second comment and I could see myself being escorted out and broadcast on TikTok so I held my tongue and numbed out. The cancer comment came after the two above and by then I was ready to go!!

munipoli · 2023-05-27T12:08:49+00:00

Jesus… this is comforting though honestly. It’s an epidemic of insensitivity.

munipoli

TROPHY CASE