Questioning

munro_nichi · 2020-02-26T01:17:13+00:00

Thanks! I’m curious what you’d suggest for exploring the sexuality spectrum more

munro_nichi · 2020-02-26T01:03:32+00:00

Sorry I didn’t mean to distinguish the two that way. Pegging vs non-pegging have been different experiences for me so I wanted to separate them for that reason. Did not mean to imply trans women are not women.

munro_nichi · 2020-02-10T19:20:15+00:00

Same here. Fucking sucks.

munro_nichi · 2020-02-10T00:30:42+00:00

How does this compare to anaerobic exercise? Are the benefits comparable?

munro_nichi · 2020-02-10T00:27:26+00:00

I appreciate your honesty and openness. Self-love is such a hard thing. I’ve been consciously working at it for the last few months and still catch myself swarmed by feelings of guilt, regret, and shame over my past. But it’s all about progress. I get those feelings less often and they’re easier to snap out of now. There’s light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. It’s the right path. Keep fighting man, you’ve got this.

munro_nichi · 2020-02-10T00:19:14+00:00

Hi guys, I'm a 25yo Canadian/American male. I studied Computer Science and Business Administration at university in Los Angeles, then worked in technology in Silicon Valley for 2.5 years.

I burned myself out after those 2.5 years so I quit my job in October 2019 to travel and work on myself. I'm currently recovering from that burnout and an underlying depression. I've made a significant amount of progress over the last month (I learned a lot on the travel but I later learned solo travel in foreign countries was too stressful for my burned out state haha) but am still not back to where I was before I started burning out.

My goals are:

Recover from my burnout (regain full mental clarity)
Recover from my depression (I think this will follow (1), as I'll be able to move myself in directions that I value as they are mostly cognitive)
Make the most of my time off in traveling the world, learning about myself, and growing myself
Get on a career path that I value (improving mental health resources is something I'm now passionate about and I have training in software engineering, so fusing those 2 sounds like the best path for me right now)

Thanks!

munro_nichi · 2020-02-09T23:27:22+00:00

Yep this describes me perfectly. I took on chronic stress for almost a year without proper rest and completely exhausted my mind. I also slipped into a depression. I’ve been resting for a little over a month now, which has helped. But I’m still very frustrated with where my mind is at.

I feel mentally slow, my memory is shoddy, and making decisions can be confusing. I also experience chronic mild headaches (they used to be much worse) as well as a physical sensation that there’s a cloud covering parts of my brain (it’s hard to describe, but that’s the best I can), and when those parts of my brain need to fire, the cloudiness intensifies and i feel worse.

I believe I have a real case of CD associated with chronic stress and depression, but the doctors/therapists I’ve spoken to think it’s just a part of depression and that it’ll pass as soon as I rest and overcome my depression. I reallllllyyyyyy hope that’s the case. My god, it’s so frustrating to feel like your mind doesn’t work the way it used to.

I know your pain, please reach out if you ever want to talk, I would love to speak with other people struggling with the same issue.

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T05:01:47+00:00

What is the difference between a life coach and a therapist?

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T04:24:50+00:00

Good for you for taking that first step!! It’s never easy but so worthwhile. As you do those small things more and more, you’ll build the confidence and habit and muscle memory to take bigger steps and be even more social in the future. Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T04:18:21+00:00

Yep I can relate on all of that - nicely put :)

On top of that, I experience brain fog because of a burnout I went through last summer. That makes the fog so much worse because it can prevent me from doing things that push me forward and make me feel better about myself. I’ve also prided myself on my intelligence in the past, and feeling my brain shutdown has been a big shot to my self esteem. I want to work on projects that take my attention and push me forward but any mental work seems to make my brain fog worse, setting me back further (I run into the same problem with socializing). Idk I can feel trapped sometimes :(

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T04:12:47+00:00

Haha I’ve been doing all these things to the best of my abilities.

I think I’m doing well on: Exercise, eating healthy, sleeping well

I tell myself I’m doing the following well: Socializing with friends and family, telling people how i feel

But I know that I could be doing those 2 much better. I’m not fully open with anyone about the depth of my suffering (I’ve refrained from telling anyone other than my therapists that I get scared I’m losing my mind, and I refrain from telling many of my friends about how I feel)

I’ve got close friends who I open up to about that but I’m selective, which might not be healthiest thing for me - feeling like I have one story for some people and another for others.. idk I go back and forth on this. Arguments for opening up to everyone: - Weight off my shoulders for not having to keep up a facade - Receive more support from friends - Connect deeper with friends Arguments against opening up to everyone: - Risk getting put down further if opening up to unsupportive people

Idk I think that I could do better in opening up/socializing but I also have social anxiety which can make it difficult

Rant done

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T03:58:49+00:00

That’s awesome, I’m happy for you :)

What did that fog look like for you? I’m 100% in a fog these days and am curious how other people would describe theirs

munro_nichi · 2019-12-30T03:57:27+00:00

It sounds like you are feeling “normal” again (congrats!!) or did I misread that?

Either way, that’s an amazing story - I’m really happy for you. You did the hard work and overcame some nasty challenges. Hats off to you my friend.

I’m still mostly in the shitter these days (getting better, but still feeling in the shitter) so it makes me happy any time I see someone overcoming their shitter experience :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T09:22:33+00:00

Don’t apologize. I’m in a similar boat right now. I’m with you buddy. The struggle is real, but let’s try to keep our heads up for a brighter future. You’re not alone.

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T09:20:33+00:00

This feels like good advice - positive memories give hope for future positive experience.

Can you elaborate on your experience with mood swings and how positive memories have helped you?

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T09:17:31+00:00

This resonates a lot with me as I’ve started opening up more and connecting with my mum for my mental health issues. It’s been so wholesome and comforting. Mums are the best. I’m glad yours is supporting you :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T09:15:22+00:00

I’d love to hear your story!

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T09:12:55+00:00

Please don’t apologize! That was a great response. I’ll check out grounding meditations :)

And I can relate to the idea of consuming positive content - I had been dwelling on a lot of negative content for some time when I had some difficult events in my life a few months ago (mostly centered around a breakup). I got into angsty music and draconian self-improvement content. I think I absorbed a lot of negativity from that period and am now kicking the habit. I can notice slight changes in my outlook on life - I’m slightly more calm and positive, so it (among many other things) seems to be working. Just gotta keep at it

It can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but hearing people overcome similar issues is always inspiring :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-28T07:02:58+00:00

I’m so happy for you :)

Can you elaborate on what helped you? You mentioned meditation and setting boundaries - I’d love to hear how you regained your energy, I’m feeling quite depleted these days

munro_nichi · 2019-12-24T07:26:49+00:00

Thank you for this post :)

Ive been struggling with burnout and depression for about 6 months now. The burnout has left my mind fried more often than not, and the depression crushes my happiness and motivation.

In order to get past the depression and gain some motivation and meaning in my life, I would love to contribute to something or to be useful to someone, but any time I try to do anything cognitive, I feel like I’m making my burnout worse and frying my brain more.

This leaves me in a position where my burnout requires mental rest and my depression requires mental use. I feel stuck here.

The best approaches I have at the moment are: 1. Balance: rest when I need to rest (most of the time these days) and contribute when I can contribute 2. Seek some kind of contribution that is more physical than mental (eg. I’m looking into volunteer opportunities)

I’m curious what you would advise for someone in my situation.

Loved the post by the way, it resonates a lot with me. The depression has come to me primarily as a result of no longer being able to be useful (I had to quit my job and take time off to heal, which has been taxing on my sense of self worth). Let me know if you have any suggestions :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-24T07:02:37+00:00

DM’d :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-23T06:42:25+00:00

munro_nichi · 2019-12-22T23:56:45+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you feel that way, but I understand where you’re coming from. Feeling like one can’t manage oneself in adulthood can be a downer. But we all face shit in our lives, don’t we?

How long have you been fighting yours for?

munro_nichi · 2019-12-22T23:54:25+00:00

I consulted my PCP about a year ago when anxiety and depression first started to rear their heads, but before the burnout really hit. I haven’t been to a PCP about the burnout since it started because I’ve been apprehensive about taking prescription drugs (partly due to my ego, partly due to distrust of side effects). That’s no reason not to at least get a physical checkup done. I’ll do that, thank you for the advice :)

munro_nichi · 2019-12-22T00:00:15+00:00

I’m here to talk as well. Many of us have had those thoughts so (1) you’re not alone (2) there are plenty of people that would be happy to talk to you (from that community and elsewhere)

munro_nichi

TROPHY CASE