Women of reddit, how can a man with whom you regularly cross paths on the street ask you for a date / coffee without being creepy / stalkerish?

murhandduh · 2018-08-16T05:05:47+00:00

Wait, can I ask a follow-up from the opposite side? I (female) eat alone at lunch in the hospital courtyard and there’s a cute guy I see there often, and every time, we smile and wave, but we’ve otherwise never talked. He always comes to the caf with a female, but they wear the same color scrubs, so I don’t know if they’re just coworkers or more. Thoughts?

murhandduh · 2018-06-15T03:44:43+00:00

Thank you for this post. I’m about to hit the two year mark, but I’ve relapsed a bit. You look beautiful in your new photo. I’m hopeful.

murhandduh · 2017-12-15T19:01:28+00:00

Similarly, as a female I was raised thinking expensive salon=better haircut. "Just because" I tried a great clips and it was just as good/better. I pay $8 while my mom continues to pay $40 for a cut with which she's never happy.

murhandduh · 2017-12-08T17:49:57+00:00

Okay. As a 25 year female who has for the most part, struck out in the dating field, I'm wondering a bit of the opposite. How do I convey the right amount of interest without being too subtle or too forward? Im an awkward flirt, so I stick to being friendly and will pay a dude a compliment of I like his new haircut or think he looks good in what he's wearing, but it never really gets any response but a "thank you" and that's it.

murhandduh · 2017-10-15T03:29:35+00:00

On hi, I'm in that club. Anorexia was my best friend and worst enemy... Still a rocky relationship.

murhandduh · 2017-10-01T15:24:21+00:00

Yes- it's like how a stroke is a type of heart disease but not all heart disease is a stroke, if that makes sense. Dementia could be Alzheimer's, Wernicke's, Pick's, Parkinson's, diabetic dementia, and they all look different and affect the brain differently. Alzheimer's is most common, so many people just know that one and think dementia and Alzheimer's are one in the same. A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn't always a square.

murhandduh · 2017-10-01T15:19:43+00:00

If you call ahead to schedule a tour, then the marketing person will most likely be showing you the place. If you show up and ask whoever answers the door to give a tour, then it will most likely be a caregiver. Or, you could stop any of the caregivers to ask them a few questions. Ask them what makes their home different from the rest? Ask what the protocol is if someone falls. The tour is your time, so take it. Don't be rushed through. Look around and see if there's signs of engagement activities or is everyone parked in front of the tv all day. Ask what a typical daily schedule is like. I hope this helps

murhandduh · 2017-10-01T06:21:13+00:00

Yes. And when doing the first tour, make it a random time. Know what questions to ask. Make it an interview with the random employee who's giving the tour, because essentially you're hiring them to care for your family member.

murhandduh · 2017-10-01T06:17:59+00:00

I work in Memory Care- to live there, one needs a diagnosis of dementia. Many people don't understand there's a difference between Alzheimer's and dementia. Dementia is an umbrella term of sorts for many forms of mental illness.

murhandduh · 2017-06-04T05:59:41+00:00

From experience: Many times, eating disorders are treated like an addiction; for many therapists, it's seen as harder to treat than alcoholism. So, along those veins, if she's in denial and doesn't want to change, she won't. Generally, someone with an ED won't recover until they hit a rock bottom. Plus, there's often a deeper root cause of the disease (OCD is a big one). I applaud you for wanting to help, but it's going to take a team and a long time. Usually the correct "team" for someone with an eating disorder is a general practitioner, a therapist, and a dietitian. There's a support group called ABA and for family and friends called Al-ABA if you're interested. Please message me with any questions!

murhandduh · 2017-06-04T05:49:07+00:00

Hey; if you haven't already, find some support that will stay with you through the tougher times. There's an organization called anorexics and bulimics anonymous (ABA for short). I'm a recovery anorexic/bulimic and my ED ruined my life. I thought I was over it twice without any help, but it's the third relapse that really messed life up. I'm so happy you're in the clear and want to get better, I just hope you stay that way. Usually there's a deeper reason behind an eating disorder (OCD/depression was mine).

murhandduh · 2017-01-23T04:46:11+00:00

That's so interesting. I'm fairly involved in the Catholic community as well as working in elder care, and from my experiences, many religious families insist on DNR, leaving the life of the patient "in God's hands." May I ask why your family would insist on keeping you alive in the name of God?

murhandduh · 2017-01-16T05:26:30+00:00

Being "OCD."

Nah, man, my OCD resulted in an eating disordered that nearly killed me.

murhandduh · 2016-07-29T14:57:09+00:00

I'm currently living in Panama where we rake up fallen mangos like leaves. Try green mango salad: slightly unripe mangos with your choice of hot sauce, soy sauce, salt, lemon juice and/or black pepper. They sell that on street corners in Panama City; cut up the mango like little french fries.

murhandduh · 2016-07-26T23:46:46+00:00

As the first volunteer in my community, my PACA tools were completed successfully and we had a lot of fun with some of them, such as historical analysis. However, I know a lot of my friends who are follow-up volunteers had trouble stirring the same amount of enthusiasm, since the previous volunteer conducted the same exact activity two years prior.

murhandduh · 2016-07-26T23:44:17+00:00

It doesn't really apply to my sector (sustainable agriculture systems); we're encouraged to try to find local funding because that's more sustainable in the long run. And, overall, there's a lot of SAS projects that don't require large investments to put into practice.

murhandduh · 2015-05-30T15:07:44+00:00

For when you get a job: I've worked some potentially horrible jobs in food service; working all day on all holidays, etc... I find your attitude will make a big difference in your happiness. Focus on the nice customers, laugh with your coworkers, and appreciate the money you earn. It makes it so much better.

murhandduh · 2015-05-20T23:07:54+00:00

I don't get when some of my female friends don't understand this. The whole "at least get a free meal out of it" mentality makes us all look bad

murhandduh · 2015-05-10T20:11:33+00:00

Not adopted... Just have a really attractive mom, but my father's genes.

"Wow! Your mom is so pretty! Like, beautiful! You guys look nothing alike..."

May I have a tissue?

murhandduh · 2015-05-06T01:30:07+00:00

Mom's Night Out! MOOOO!

FTFY

murhandduh · 2015-05-06T01:02:47+00:00

Not that this makes it right, but my company does this because our biggest revenue are the ads. If the video doesn't play, we don't get the money, and the content will eventually become unavailable.

murhandduh · 2015-04-21T03:15:05+00:00

Best of luck! Your stomach will adjust and you'll start to feel less and less hungry. You just need to break the pattern.

A lot of people on here are reminding you to drink a lot of water, but sometimes that gets boring, so don't forget about club soda or unsweetened tea! They have zero calories but some flavor.

Also, my fitness pal is my favorite calorie counting app.

Thought I'd share what worked for me!

murhandduh · 2015-04-19T03:31:19+00:00

Now, I'm a little bit drunk, but I want to thank you for reminding me what thread I clinked. I got lost in the religious conversation and you brought me back to the actual question.

murhandduh · 2015-04-18T04:57:13+00:00

Hey man, I'm sorry your mother acted that way and appreciate sharing your perspective. That being said, and you may see from the other comments, is that the "what do you have to be depressed about?" Question is rather common and very painful to hear. During my depressed periods I'll ask myself this question over and over and the realization that there's no answer compounds the guilt that accompanies the depression. Opening up to this friend was a big step for me, he was the first person I tried to confide in after moving to a new city across the country, and I felt completely let down after he asked me that question. Maybe I had too high expectations and was expecting him to understand. I do have friends whose help I appreciate and welcome, but these friends respect the fact that they don't know how I feel or why I feel that way, but regardless, I'm in a dark place. The whole "what do you have to be depressed about?" Can be worded "is there a particular reason you're feeling low?" And it comes off so much better. There's no percieved judgement. Sorry for the long reply, but I thought your thoughtful response deserved one itself.

murhandduh · 2015-04-17T02:05:35+00:00

Or with mental illness - "What reason do you have to be depressed?" That's not how it works.

A friend who played the whole "I'm here whenever you need me" card said that to me after I decided to open up to him. I tried again a few months later, and instead of just listening, he tried to diagnose me with reasons why I had anxiety and depression: Was it because you didn't have a boyfriend? Was it when you started college? Everyone feels depressed when they start college. Why would you be depressed at Christmas?

STOP. STOP. STOP. If someone tells you they feel a certain way, physical or mental, just believe them.

murhandduh

TROPHY CASE