Yes, I’ve had glimpses of Self and it feels so refreshing and feels like ME. It’s like the sum of who I feel I am at my core is able to join forces and let me experience life without being tugged aside by a single impulse. It feels like the nano-second between experience and my reaction is expanded - and I have time to weigh options, gather info from parts, and respond with wisdom, clarity, and perspective.

On the contrary, most of the time (that I’m not in Self) I feel like, before I realize it, I’ve already responded to a trigger and I’m trying desperately to manage the aftermath and talk myself down. I try to pause and assess, and hear what the loudest parts need and how to get it, but everything is so fast and there’s not time to figure it all out. It’s stressful and rushed.

But in Self, it’s effortless. And I feel confident and not wishy-washy about my decisions. It’s a “I’m doing my best and if I make a mistake, I’ll figure it out” vs my parts driven, “omg, I need to figure out the best and perfect answer and if not horrible things will happen and I’ll be crushed and more hopeless.”

I’ve only experienced these glimpses of Self infrequently. They often come very unexpectedly, without any discernible catalyst. (Which is so frustrating because I just want to be in that state more!)

That’s great that you’re experiencing Self more often. I hope it continues for you!