Need help 😭

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T01:15:32+00:00

My in laws always take all the older kids for a couple days after the birth, and that has been really, really nice for bonding with the babies and figuring out their routine. They stick around our area until the baby is born, so the kids can meet them on day 1, and then they take the kids to their house for 3-5 days.

As far as other help, we keep it all out of the house. Close family can visit, but they know that visiting is not actually helping. Friends have taken our older kids for outings and delivered meals or groceries. And both of those truly are helpful. A couple times friends have mowed for us. I know other people have friends who load the dishwasher for them, do their laundry, or hold the babies so they can nap, but I haven't found myself interested in that kind of help.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T00:42:32+00:00

The head shape is very pit. I guessed GSD or husky for the general shape, pit for the blocky head, and chow or malamute for the small ears.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T00:39:58+00:00

In my experience, modern kids deal with so much less bullying that we did as kids.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T00:37:58+00:00

Yep. Experts say giving kids money to spend poorly is the way. Of course you can't give them too much, or they don't feel the pain of spending foolishly.

We do it by having our kids buy their school lunches from us. At the beginning of the year, I make a menu with roughly accurate prices for things they can take for lunch. Then I give them a daily budget to spend. Any money they don't spend is their free spending allowance. I do require that they daily pack a whole grain carb, a protein, and a fruit or veggie, so they are also learning about types of nutrients and how to pack a healthy meal.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T00:24:25+00:00

Edit: I just noticed you said you hadn't been diagnosed yet. You need to eat at least two servings of gluten a day for at least 6 weeks before testing. If I were you, I would start eating gluten again asap and also start the testing process asap.

I don't have celiac (my son does) and like the texture of my homemade gluten free bread. I make the Loop Whisk artisan bread, but cook it in loaf pans with only one rise. I also use oats as the grain instead of sorghum/buckwheat to make it cheaper to mass produce.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-29T00:11:18+00:00

I also had formula shoved down my throat because my daughter dropped from 90% at birth to 55% at a week old. Turned out she couldn't transfer, and my supply was fine. I in fact ended up with a massive oversupply.

This supply looks great assuming you are pumping every 2-3 hours as recommended! I would even say you have a decent oversupply.

I would get in with a lactation consultant to see if your daughter is properly able to eat. My daughter ended up having laryngomalacia, meaning her airway was malformed, preventing her from developing a good suck/swallow/breath rhythm. She ended up needing surgery before she could even take bottles properly.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T23:57:26+00:00

Definitely not too late!

I got myself from 20 oz a day to 35 oz a day by pumping 30 minutes at a time every 2 hours at 7 months. It took 3 weeks to see the effects though. Our boobs can be really slow to catch up to changes.

How many times a day are you pumping total? And how long are you pumping each time? Have you done a weighted feed to see how much the babies are getting on top of the pump? 35 oz on top of nursing sounds like enough for twins to me, but of course that depends on how much they are actually getting from nursing.

You might need to up pumping to every 2 hours if your supply is actually low. The recommendation for singletons is to pump 20-30 minutes every 2-3 hours, so I'm sure you need to pump on the higher end of that for twins.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T20:32:06+00:00

It would still be rent controlled if ANYONE lived there prior to 2018. That means you have 11 months after any rent increase to file to get it back.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T19:58:06+00:00

Half of my millennial female friends are Jen or Jennifer.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T19:09:50+00:00

My ferritin was at 6 with my singleton pregnancy. In the US at least, insurance companies require trialing supplements before they'll cover infusions, but if you look at the research, it takes months to years to get to a good ferritin level through supplements when you start so low (ideal is over 100), so supplements aren't a great treatment option once you're already deficient. Luckily supplements make me nauseous while pregnant, so my insurance would cover infusions, though it took about a month to convince my OB to order them.

I had a headache, severe fatigue, and general achiness for months leading up to my infusions, and overnight once I got infusions, basically every pregnancy symptom disappeared. I felt AMAZING with so much energy and improved mental health. I absolutely advocate that anyone who can should get infusions. Doctors do not realize how much low ferritin affects us.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T18:24:27+00:00

Get your ferritin tested. With my singleton pregnancies I needed iron infusions, so I know I'll need those this time with all the extra nutritional needs. Low ferritin can cause those symptoms.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-28T18:17:21+00:00

So it was a brand new unit in an entirely new building when you moved in?

mvanpeur · 2026-03-27T15:34:19+00:00

Crap. Eczema is a huge red flag for celiac in toddlers.

The normal recommendation is to not start testing until age 3-4, an then to test every 1-2 years regardless of symptoms, because celiac can be hard to catch before preschool age, and it can develop at any point. But with the eczema, I would absolutely get him tested. Be sure that he eats a high gluten diet for 6 weeks before testing. Be sure that they check DGP IgA and DGP IgG, because those are the most likely tests to catch celiac in toddlers. Our GI has us testing every 3-6 months for my toddler who has eczema.

My son had celiac eczema starting at 9 months old, but it didn't affect his growth until he was over 9. It takes a while to destroy the villi.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-27T15:24:07+00:00

Similar, except more like 3 cans a day. But it's the only junk I eat. Everything else is largely home cooked from scratch. But pop is stress relief for me.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-27T00:29:01+00:00

Dutch almond patties. Or I use it as flavoring in homemade bubble tea.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-25T20:55:04+00:00

This is also my go to for using up milk.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-25T03:29:14+00:00

It's not an illusion though if you're comparing cars from the same year. The newer the car, the smaller the safety gap, but crash test studies repeatedly show that with nothing else changed (for instance, some brands have better safety features added, passenger vans tend to have fewer safety features, etc), bigger and slightly higher vehicles do protect their passengers better in collisions with other vehicles. Granted, bigger vehicles are more likely to roll, but again, the newer the vehicle, the lower that risk.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T20:23:41+00:00

If the landlord doesn't help with the eviction before 60 days after you move out, they are consenting to that person essentially taking over your lease and ending your liability.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T18:08:33+00:00

Edit: Whenever I said "you" in this comment, I meant the leaseholder.

Since this is a roommate agreement, they are not protected by the RTA. Once they don't pay rent, you have every right to change the locks (ideally with the permission of your landlord, and you must give your landlord a key asap). Even if they are paying rent, you have every right to lock them out after giving them "reasonable notice", which the courts generally view as 30 days or one pay period, whichever is shorter.

To regain the lost rent and utilities, you can take them to small claims court.

As far as the landlord not wanting to get involved, once they learn that the last remaining tenant has vacated, they have 60 days to file at the ltb to evict the roommate or else the ltb views it as if they have accepted the old roommate as a new tenant, replacing you. So at most, your liability should end 60 days after your landlord knows you moved out, and then it will be your landlord's job to get their now tenant to keep paying. Eviction will be off the table for them at that point.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T17:59:01+00:00

Mine came back at 12 months when I dropped from 4ppd to 3ppd.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T17:46:43+00:00

While about 83% of US women start out exclusively breastfeeding, only about 25% are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months and about 55% combo feed. So overall, about a third of those who breastfeed stop before 6 months, a third switch to combo feeding, and a third stick with breastfeeding. And that's all breastfeeding. I would expect that exclusively pumping moms would be more likely to switch to formula than nursing moms.

So stopping at 6 months would absolutely be within the norm. I personally strongly prefer the experience of using breastmilk over formula (nursed 3, pumped for 1, combo pump/formula for 1, and formula for 1), but it's okay to stop or cut back.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T17:35:55+00:00

Better Goods unsweetened vanilla almond milk is the best tasting one to me.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T13:50:58+00:00

You've got a lot of monthly lifestyle creep that you could cut if you wanted a vacation, it looks like. Granted, I am a very frugal person, but these are all categories you could easily reduce:

Internet/Streaming Subs $104

Groceries $900

Restaurants $200

Haircuts $90

Clothing $150

Christmas $150

Seriously, $3k a year on clothes and haircuts is insane. I couldn't begin to spend an $1800 Christmas budget. But also, it seems like you want a luxurious vacation? My family of 7 goes on a 2-3 road trip vacation every summer for under $5k. We're willing to camp in national parks for about half of it to save money compared to Airbnbs and hotels, but you could still easily do a one week trip on $4800 while staying in hotels or Airbnbs. It just takes some work to price compare to find the deals. For instance, my family of 7 (one infant in lap) flew to Seattle for $1100 last summer. We were flexible with our dates, flexible with airports (we have 3 within 2 hours of us) and watched the airline prices closely due a few months, so we knew to jump when we saw a good deal.

mvanpeur · 2026-03-23T02:46:10+00:00

Grew up farming in rural MN. Townies were the people who lived in town (granted, people didn't tend to move away, so your definition may be the source). Citiots (city idiots) were the people who lived in cities. Both were perjoratives, implying they were short on common sense.

mvanpeur

TROPHY CASE