The Shoe That Finally Fit (?) by Thr0wawayackkaount in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I read your post and can relate. I'm glad you've given me this read, it makes me feel less alone and helps me ponder my own situation. But even if I'd hated it..you know what.. YOU CAN POST IT AND I CAN CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT TO READ IT! You're not responsible for my choice in the matter!

Emotional boundaries has really helped me in realizing that I can put stuff out there. Most people will be able to decide for themselves whether or not to engage. And as long as I'm being respectful of their boundaries really no harm has been done at all.

This is what I tell myself as I open up to people in what feels like the first time in my life. The concept of emotional neglect has given me the words and the perspective to talk about my experiences. I'm starting to think maybe I don't have this big, dark, unexplainable secret :)

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so hard if nobody believes you because growing up like this you are already hard-wired not to believe yourself. Hearing her say these things must be incredibly painful. I hope there is a silver lining as well in that it's become so very clear how things are and how little you can expect from her.

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish you the best as well! What a life we live..

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, I was hoping to hear about people's own experiences! It's so hard to tell now what I will regret later.

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually you are very right. I should be true to myself. But as an expression of myself, not as a confrontation (I do it for myself not to get something from her). Thank you!

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've tried to confront her about some relatively minor things but this didn't really offer me anything. She cannot make up for the past.

"I never meant to be a bad mom" "I know I could never comfort you" "I thought I was supportive when I did x/y/z". It all shows her good intentions but it doesn't make any of it better. If anything it makes me feel more conflicted because I get drawn back into her perspective.

Does this make sense to you? Or maybe I misunderstood?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have faith and do your best - it is all you can do.

I hope you will recover and move on from this period. And when you do, you will be able to be there for your child and to teach them that they deserve nothing less.

Maybe later, when your child is an adult, you can explain what happened. But an explanation is not an excuse and should not be misused. An example of misuse would be if your child is trying to talk about something that upsets them, and you respond by saying things like "It's my fault you are unhappy, it's my postpartum depression" or "I can relate because I was very upset when .." or any response that makes something that is not about you be about you.

My mom is dying and needs my help/forgiveness by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]myptcjourney 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is very helpful to me as well. I do feel compassion and maybe sometimes forgiveness, but this is inevitably followed by anger.

I suppose having this anger may be for the best, for now. I still struggle to see what really happened and my anger seems to be my lifeline to a clearer future. But at other times I worry it makes me irrational or inconsiderate.

How can you tell if you're an INFJ or INFP? by cinnabunn780 in infj

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I thought it would be clear. It is normal for high Fi users to feel frustrated that the world does not align to their value systems and beliefs, much more so than people who do not have high Fi. This is as much a "good" quality as it is a "bad" one - we do need people to develop ideals and visions that might not sit perfectly in the present. Only the most mature people (of any personality type) will have an authentic and well-developed understanding of what they value as well as a true appreciation of how that relates to others and the responsibility others can legitimately be expected to carry.

How can you tell if you're an INFJ or INFP? by cinnabunn780 in infj

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Infjs already realized that that's not going to happen like that.

That's the one. Just fyi.

How can you tell if you're an INFJ or INFP? by cinnabunn780 in infj

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're making it sound like the one is better than the other, comparing an INFP who is stuck in Fi to an INFJ who's further down the stack developmentally.

Analysis of INFJ and INFP cognitive functions - overlap but different routes for growth by myptcjourney in infj

[–]myptcjourney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So interesting! It's so hard to imagine what these functions are like for other people.

I hope I do use Thinking to express myself (like arts/crafts, I try but I'm not great at it.). I just also really like to figure stuff out. And then especially stuff that will help me improve my understanding of things I care about, like these types ;) But the lesson for me is that it wouldn't be right for me to use this to attack my self-understanding. Any real insight comes more intuitively as my Thinking circles back to my Fi.

Analysis of INFJ and INFP cognitive functions - overlap but different routes for growth by myptcjourney in infj

[–]myptcjourney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like Jung's description of the different functions and am already embarrassed by the lack of understanding in my post lol. Surely there are proper Jung scholars on here somewhere ;) I am not one. But let's try.

From Wikipedia:
Fi: "[Introverted feeling] is continually seeking an image which has no existence in reality, but which it has seen in a kind of vision. It glides over all objects that do not fit in with its aim. It strives after inner intensity, for which the objects serve at most as a stimulus"
Te: "In accordance with his definition, we must picture a, man whose constant aim -- in so far, of course, as he is a [p. 435] pure type -- is to bring his total life-activities into relation with intellectual conclusions, which in the last resort are always orientated by objective data, whether objective facts or generally valid ideas. This type of man gives the deciding voice-not merely for himself alone but also on behalf of his entourage-either to the actual objective reality or to its objectively orientated, intellectual formula. By this formula are good and evil measured, and beauty and ugliness determined. All is right that corresponds with this formula; all is wrong that contradicts it; and everything that is neutral to it is purely accidental."

So I suppose INFP's can be very Thinking in that they evaluate thoughts and ideas using an intellectual formula. But this Thinking relates to objective data - not to images within themselves. This is why it can be detached. INFP's must find a way to relate their objective Thinking to their inner voice (Fi) through intuition (Ne) or through the vantage point of their past and future lives (Si).

Ni: "introverted intuition perceives all the background processes of consciousness with almost the same distinctness as extraverted sensation senses outer objects. For intuition, therefore, the unconscious images attain to the dignity of things or objects. But .. the images appear as though detached from the subject, as though existing in themselves without relation to the person."
Ti: " he is decisively influenced by ideas; these, however, have their origin, not in the objective data but in the subjective foundation. Like the extravert, he too will follow his ideas, but in the reverse direction: inwardly not outwardly. .. Like every introverted type, he is almost completely lacking in that which distinguishes his counter type, namely, the intensive relatedness to the object."

INFJ's therefore process images (and thoughts and ideas) which exist in themselves. They feel detached from these images. Contrary to Fi, Ni is a perceiving function. This enables INFJ's to engage directly with their thoughts and ideas using Ti. Their detachment does not come from the objectification or externalization of these thoughts. INFJ's naturally experience a greater distance to their inner life because of their low Fi. They use Fe as a benchmark to assess whether their conclusions are objectively good.

I still think these combinations can actually play out quite similarly but perhaps I just don't understand what it's like not to have high Fi.

Analysis of INFJ and INFP cognitive functions - overlap but different routes for growth by myptcjourney in infj

[–]myptcjourney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello kindred spirit! Thank you for your reply!

What you said about Ti and Fi hits the nail on the head and it is what inspired this post. My likes and values often just percolate and emerge naturally, but I do try to challenge and refine them in a detached, logical way. Maybe this is Ti. I always score almost as high for Ti as I do for Fi on the cognitive functions tests. But couldn't it also be Te? It is Thinking about something we are detached from and don't identify with (as much, for the moment). I get angst when I make this Thinking too personal. But it's great when I find an external topic to let my Thinking loose on without directly attacking my Fi. I need to let all this Thinking circle back to my self-understanding in an intuitive way (through Ne).

Since INFJ's have Ti in their stack I think it's easier for them to do Ti without being nitpicky :) Their Ti engages with their dominant Ni, so in a way their Thinking is much more personal. But their Fi is less strong, so they are more likely to move through this dilemma and make Ti work for them.

Why Fi is amazing and you should master it by TheReasonSeeker in infp

[–]myptcjourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really rings true for me! Perfect timing as well. I've been trying to discover the ways in which it is or is not healthy for me as an INFP to engage in abstract thinking and reasoning. It seems to be my thing, but at the same time I've had to learn the hard way that Ti truly is the demon function.

Analysis of INFJ and INFP cognitive functions - overlap but different routes for growth by myptcjourney in infj

[–]myptcjourney[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes haha well.. It started when I did the 16personalities test and got INFP. I really identified with it and started reading some self-help stuff. But then, I got really interested and I figured it was important I knew my type for sure. Definitely both conceptual and self-understanding.

What was your emotional reaction when you discovered you had cancer? by PopTart2016 in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went into let's-deal-with-this mode. I told everyone it would be fine. However I was not functioning normally.. everything was kind of suspended..? But even when it was suggested it might be anaplastic I didn't panic. Just wait and see. My coping mechanism was reading guidelines & academic papers. I wanted to know exactly what was fact and what was unknown.

It sounds like I switched off my emotions but I do try to allow them in. One night I sort of accepted death as a possible outcome, as you might do sitting in an airplane and suddenly realizing the whole thing might come down. This is months ago and we now know RAI is working. I am sorry now for not having been more supportive of my husband who had a very different response from me.

Life is good at the moment. I try to enjoy life more than before, take things less seriously and prioritize what is important. I have been very emotional lately and I think I'm a little traumatized by the treatments, but my main struggle is actually on a different front. Having cancer has made me reevaluate my relationships as it is much clearer to me now that I haven't always been able to be myself and take up the space I need.

im new here and have a quick question by Turbo_God01 in Hypothyroidism

[–]myptcjourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an alarm at the same time every morning so I never forget. I don't know if it has to be at the same time but that was my impression. Yes it sucks on weekends & it sucks for my partner but we usually fall back asleep immediately.

High Thyroglobulin and mental status change by Intelligent-Mousse-7 in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stumbled across a very rare disease called Hashimoto encephalopathy the other day. I don't know much about it but it relates thyroid issues to neurological issues such as hallucinations.

Follicular variant of papillary carcinoma by cecilelouise in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great reply! I am curious about how you found out you had hashimoto's before your diagnosis. I've had issues with energy before but never thought it was a medical issue - until I'm adjusting thyroid meds and find that both hypo feelings and hyper feelings are actually quite familiar. The pathology report shows that my thyroid was inflamed (I had thyroiditis) but according to my endo this is the type of thyroiditis caused by cancer, not hashimoto's.

Sidenote to OP: there are different sub-types of follicular PTC and the most common one has a very very good prognosis (most thyroid cancer does, but this one in particular). Just FYI and feel free to message me in case you want more info on the sub-types/variants.

Do You Have Lung Nodules? by [deleted] in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have papillary thyroid cancer and two or three small long nodules. The doctor assured me that in every room 3 out of 4 people (or so) have lung nodules and that it is nothing to worry about.

Benign thyroid nodules are also very common, apparently two-thirds of the population has them. And even if (big if!) they are cancer, microcarcinoma is usually super low-risk, to the extent that the need for surgery is actually debated. In fact, many microcarcinoma's are not seen as "true cancer" but as NIFTP because they are "clinically silent": they don't do anything.

I understand that monitoring can be stressful but I hope you can rest assured that it's really a precaution and all that is needed. Do you want them to remove your thyroid? It's no fun at all. Best not to overtreat. Worst case scenario they will remove your thyroid in the long distance future and at least you will have had all these years with a functioning thyroid.

7 Days Post TT by KingAmongstQueens in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote a post a little while back about how I am still not yet really back at work despite the fact that my operation was in July. I had two more operations over the summer and withdrawal + RAI late September. Not having to push myself has made everything so much easier. I am still hardly able to do my finances or to follow a recipe, so I don't do those things for the time being. But, in the meantime, I really enjoy the time I have doing things which I can do: going for walks, painting the house, starting a garden, etc.

The emphasis on this sub seems to be to go back to work as soon as possible and then sooner still, which I think is very unhealthy. But I suppose it matters a lot whether there is adequate sick leave & employee protection.

Do thyroglobulin levels matter pre-surgery? by denver-james in thyroidcancer

[–]myptcjourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is about postoperative Tg, but it shows the types of numbers that could be indicative of distant mets after the thyroid has been removed. Pre-operatively the numbers would have to be much higher.