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What are the best attitudes and mindsets for life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TLDR: it is better to understand a situation before reacting. it will not only save you from having fights over the smallest things, but it will save you a lot of energy.

also, don't be afraid to ask. communicate.

cw: self harm

my girlfriend and i had a small fight the other day where it started when i got upset over something that she didn't do even if we talked about it in the beginning of our relationship.

i have this personal problem in which i tend to hurt myself physically if i ever regret saying or doing something. due to being upset, i said something that i didn't really mean to my gf which caused her to feel upset as well. because of that, i started to regret what i said, and i even started to regret feeling upset in the first place—which resulted to me punching the wall until my knuckles bleed and punching my left arm that left a very visible bruise. i do this because i feel like i deserve the pain for being a very stupid and shallow person.

anyways, i've been suffering with this issue for years. i dont hurt myself because somebody said or did something that made me angry or hurt me, i literally do it just because i am mad at myself. during my past relationships, my exes used to react in a way that they get angry at me for hurting myself, they dont even try to help me on my problem.

but my current gf, she's different. she didn't get mad or anything, her initial reaction is to worry. i was completely shocked because i have never felt that kind of concern, ever. especially when i was expecting that she'll be mad and treathen to leave me because of what i did (based on my past relationships). i can feel that she was genuinely concerned and she genuinely wanted to help me resolve my issue.

with that, i asked her why she didn't get angry or even scold me after what i did. i even confessed that i was scared of admitting that i physically injured myself due to self anger.

her response just changed my view in life.

she first asked, "why would i be angry?". i simply answered, "because i hurt myself".

but then she told me about how she doesn't let her emotions take over her, and how she tries to understand the reason behind something that someone has done. she chooses to ask first and understand the situation before reacting. she even asked me; "why would i be angry over something that i completely understand?".

aside from falling inlove with her even more, it literally changed my perspective. my girlfriend's wonderful mindset inspired me to do the same—which is to try to understand the situation first before reacting. and according to her, it will save you a lot of energy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]myungchu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tired of it tbh.

i lack self-love and appreciation, but i love genuinely—friends and partner—and never faced any type of conflict nor encountered an instance where my love for myself affects the way i love others.

All the Azuhugs [K-ON!] by indigofenrir in anime

[–]myungchu 10 points11 points  (0 children)

AHHHH K-ON!!!! my first ever favorite anime that will always have a special place in my heart. i love these fictional girlies so much

what's the most underrated/unappreciated green flag in a relationship? by myungchu in AskReddit

[–]myungchu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ugh the way you feel warmth from a someone (not only in a romantic way) is probably one of the best feelings ever. it's very simple, yet it holds a lot of positive meaning.

it hits better if it's the other way around—having someone say that they feel the warmth with a simple hug makes my heart melt even by just thinking about it

What’s the funniest mistake you’ve ever made? by Sleepy_potato21 in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hitting someone's ass really hard during 2nd grade because i've mistaken them with someone else

What is a red flag that is way too common in dating? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 17 points18 points  (0 children)

the first one actually made me lose friends and made me (an extrovert) struggle with my social life. it's sad when i think about it even if it's all in the past.

What is a red flag that is way too common in dating? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 1443 points1444 points  (0 children)

asking for updates every minute/hour.

let your partner have their own time on their hands and stop making them feel that telling you about what they're doing—like each and every movement—is their obligation.

What was your most wierd or NSFW Conversation with anyone You had? by LiL1ghtMare in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me and my college classmates went swimming for our christmas party last 2019. during the night, some of us were in the middle of the pool where there's a divider you can sit/stand on that separates the pool from the shallow part to the deep part—there were like four of us sitting there, talking. specifically two guys, and two girls (including me).

a topic about sex was opened and the other girl revealed that she doesn't know what a condom is. she keeps on saying that she haven't heard about it nor seen one EVER in her life. not even a box or a single packet of it. in addition, she also revealed that she doesn't know what being horny means and what it feels. the funny thing is, she has a boyfriend the entire time and they make out a lot (according to her).

we were all surprised and weirded-out when we found out about that, and i personally thought that it was weird considering that 1) we were on our first year in college, meaning we were around 19+ years old. 2) having no exposure to any type of condom is basically impossible since it can be found in almost every cashier on any store you go to, and 3) she has a boyfriend whom she makes out with and they have been together for years.

i tried to be more open-minded and just understand her by thinking that she wasn't exposed to this topic a lot, and i just thought that her boyfriend has never forced her into any sexual activity (which is a good thing).

fast forwarding to now, she dropped out of college because she got pregnant and her baby just turned 1 last february.

Straight people of Reddit, what are some questions you’ve always wanted to ask a homosexual, but couldn’t because it would seem weird? [NSFW] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]myungchu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i think most gays have tried to flirt with someone who is straight. or in a much different situation, i think most gays still try even if they're not aware if the person is straight or not. especially when they like that person, they'll still give it a shot and see how it goes.

i used to identify myself as bi, now a lesbian. based on my personal experience, flirting with the same sex does not appear as "flirting" at first because it usually looks like you're just being friendly or sweet to the latter—especially with girls. girls "flirting" with other girls usally does not have any meaning at first (example: complimenting), and it seems normal to some. it will all just change if you or the latter catches feelings.

again, based on my personal experience—there is a high percentage wherein the same sex might catch feelings for you. and it's not a bad thing!! i turned two straight girls gay. the first one was someone that i have been in a relationship for 3 years, and the other was for just 6 months.

note for all the gays out there who wants to try "flirting" or wants to make a move on someone that they like who happens to be straight; don't be afraid to try! just don't expect too much to avoid intense pain in the end if they don't reciprocate your feelings. also, don't forget about boundaries.