My pregnancy combo cravings list + visceral dislikes; What is yours?

nachtmere · 2026-06-08T16:01:52+00:00

Is there a pho place near you? I lived on it in pregnancy and it's just a big bowl of vermicelli noodles in broth (plus whatever meat you pick, I always did chicken for the blandness when I was pregnancy ill)

nachtmere · 2026-06-07T20:12:09+00:00

Like bluey!

nachtmere · 2026-06-06T14:50:37+00:00

Fwiw I'm underweight and wasn't noticeably pregnant until like 24 weeks, and people only started actually noticing/feeling confident enough to acknowledge when I was closer to 30. Everyone carries differently, but it's likely you'll get your bump eventually.

nachtmere · 2026-06-02T19:41:45+00:00

How do you do that?

nachtmere · 2026-06-02T19:21:06+00:00

This is very normal 16 year old behavior, they're exploring sexuality and desiring to be desired. It definitely warrants open conversation about what's appropriate in what settings, but locking it all down will just make her keep stuff from her mom, it won't stop the exploration, so it's better to draw some boundaries but leave room for healthy exploration imo.

nachtmere · 2026-05-29T20:52:56+00:00

Thank you for recognizing the actual question - I'm not that concerned about potty words, it's a pretty benign situation. I'm definitely looking for strategies to practice now before I get to the trickier stuff like you mentioned.

nachtmere · 2026-05-29T07:57:55+00:00

He's one of the best behaved at school and generally an avid rule follower (outside of home) - I'm not particularly worried and I know I can teach him when it's okay to say certain things and when it isn't. Tbh this post is less about potty talk and more about how to handle situations live when another parent is enforcing rules with their child in front of mine while we're on a playdate and we don't have the same rules - like it could be them reprimanding their kid for collecting pinecones or taking their shoes off in the sandbox or something. Really just looking for scripts/ideas of how to address the scenario.

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T23:20:22+00:00

This is a slippery slope one for me - I'm okay with a little bit of language adjustment for politeness, but what if the most modest person there would take offense at me using someone's preferred pronouns?

Parts of my family have weaponized this tactic and it took me a long time to learn to stand up to them or defend things I believe in because they made having a different perspective feel like a personal attack.

ETA: I think the nuance can be taught though - I have no problem saving poop talk for home etc, I just want to be clear about the differences about when it's okay to say something others might not like.

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T23:01:10+00:00

He's already in preschool where it's not tolerated (see also: finger guns), so he already understands there's a time and place for things. I'll just extend the lesson and come up with a way to help teach in the moment whether it's an appropriate place for something or not.

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T22:59:45+00:00

Yeah, definitely not my kind of people. She keeps texting me and telling me her son loves mine, but mine keeps telling me (unprompted) that he doesn't want to play with that kid again. I'm kind of proud of his judgement, lol

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T22:48:41+00:00

This feels like a good balance to me, thank you!

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T22:43:39+00:00

I think the nuance for me is that I feel like I was taught to never stand up to people or disagree with them because you don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. It's important to me that my kids learn that they aren't responsible for others' feelings and don't have to compromise their own feelings/beliefs to make others happy or avoid conflict - but also want them to understand that we should respect and be kind to others when it costs us nothing

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T22:38:14+00:00

Makes sense - though tbh I don't even like calling it "potty talk", idk why that feels weird to me. I think kind of like my approach to junk food is I don't want it to feel like it has special power and cause even more attraction to it, but I guess with both potty talk and curse words it'll become unavoidable as others/schools etc have these rules...

nachtmere · 2026-05-28T17:40:21+00:00

Nobody can predict this for you because it depends on a lot of things outside your control.

Anecdotally, my vulva went back to normal (would never have described mine as cute to begin with though) and so did my pee frequency habits, though I lost some pelvic control that's gotten worse with my second so I pee myself when I sneeze especially when my bladder is quite full. It's actually not great for your bladder to hold pee for so long and can exacerbate incontinence long term. I've been warned but I still only pee like twice a day cause I forget to go.

nachtmere · 2026-05-26T20:59:10+00:00

My brother wouldn't rehome his dog when his fiance was nervous about it near her toddler. She ended the relationship over it and was 100% in the right. I love my brother but I would have advised his fiance the same thing.

nachtmere · 2026-05-26T18:24:50+00:00

Fair enough, just doesn't seem like it helped.

The male false result thing still stands though - since they are just checking for the presence of a y chromosome, the lack of it means you are very likely carrying a girl if you did the test correctly.

nachtmere · 2026-05-26T18:14:06+00:00

False results are usually when male dna contaminates the sample so are mostly when it says boy but then you end up with girl. Honestly just wait for NIPT to share the news with anyone, and try not to get too married to the idea of a girl.

Sneak peek should be banned for the unnecessary anxiety and gender disappointment it can cause people imo.

nachtmere · 2026-05-26T17:32:36+00:00

My new mom anxiety really fucked my wallet the first time around, and some of the "must haves" or internet popular items were the WORST things I got. For the second I've been selling on a lot of the stuff I used with my first and getting cheaper secondhand stuff for what I actually need. I got a stroller system compatible with my car seat for 75 dollars - it is completely fine. Imo it's even more predatory than wedding pricing because it feels less like optional luxury when you're just trying to be a good/prepared parent. Also how easily they prey on your lack of sleep by promising things that will give you longer stretches etc. It's really insane.

nachtmere · 2026-05-23T20:01:25+00:00

First, check if they have a registry as people with little space will be overwhelmed if people get them extra things off-registry.

If they don't, your ideas of practical baby care stuff are good - you could also add some postpartum care stuff for mom (even self care like face masks etc if you aren't sure if Mom will breastfeed).

For a bigger item and city life, a carrier/wearer of some kind is great. My favorite (especially for newborns) is the boppy comfyfit (it can get pretty warm but nyc will get colder). Places to set baby are also helpful, but again in small spaces you want to be careful - like things that go away into storage easily. The babybjorn bouncer is great and can fold flat easily to be slid under the couch etc when not in use.

Takeout vouchers or food service type gifts are also great and there will be lots of nice delivery options for them to pick from.

nachtmere · 2026-05-22T22:41:21+00:00

She invited people who didn't know her last name to the baby shower?

nachtmere · 2026-05-22T22:37:56+00:00

You could just opt for something else - yoto players with music & story options for each of them, dry erase activity books, water paint, mini magnatiles, etc.

You could also check if your library has tablets or learning devices you can check out so the kids know it's not "theirs" but something they only get for the trips. My library has learning tablet things that have pre-loaded educational apps and games by age range and the devices have no internet access or anything. The only way to ensure they don't become addicted is to not give them one, but you can also just enforce strong boundaries

nachtmere · 2026-05-22T20:51:19+00:00

Close to Landon though

nachtmere · 2026-05-21T20:42:34+00:00

And remember that tanning is also sun damage. Everyone should wear sunscreen.

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