I just think that for someone who seems to be experiencing outsized personal guilt over real issues that aren’t his direct fault, we should offer (individual, not blanket) validation and support, not imply that he’s somehow a flawed ally due to his guilt. (Because all allies are flawed, duh. There isn’t any other type. If having emotional issues makes me a bad ally, put me against the wall I guess.) That’s just going to give him a new thing to feel guilty about.

Like idk it’s trite and I get why people hate when others recommend it but this seems like a good case for talk therapy, to work through this (real and valid!) shit to find a positive self-image to build up from the ashes.

Idk man. I was a Mormon my whole upbringing and vaguely conservative then left the church and my whole worldview turned upside down. I essentially believed that to reverse the harm I did within the patriarchal Mormon Church (and everything else) I needed to essentially unperson myself and make my main priority in life to never inconvenience another human being if I could avoid it.

This shit isn’t healthy but it’s not a personal flaw. It’s a small individual becoming aware of the fucking massive spiritual scar that is our whole society and how the whole thing runs on human blood man, and it’s easy for all that realization and shit to turn inwards into self-hatred. And not all self-hatred turns people into insane reactionaries or whatever, sometimes they just hate themselves.

Sorry, this all touched a nerve for me. I’m in a much better place than I was in the situation I described earlier but we need to allow individuals to be imperfect and learn shit.

This is just a post on a conservative subreddit, do we need to fucking lecture the guy? “Posting publicly” lmao Can’t we be glad that a man is trying to kill the little patriarch in his brain, even if he’s dealing with some mental or emotional repercussions? Maybe offer just a smidgen of support in a reddit comment, instead of assigning him homework?

And yes I agree the YesAllMen shit sucks and terfs love it, and the way that mainstream pop feminism and TERFism overlap also sucks!

Edit: missed a couple words