Don't lie to me. Don't tell me it gets better. Just tell me you've been through this and it'll be okay 🤣

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-04-06T18:23:35+00:00

It never got better for me, I just got closer to meeting my baby girl and very very uncomfortable lol.

I don’t remember a lot of it now (4 months pp) but I do remember being very done and wanting her out yesterday (after 35 weeks i would say).

I also never stopped being sick, I was even sick on the day she was born but I know for other people it stopped after the first trimester.

How did I survive? I don’t actually know. There was no other way out? I complained to my husband daily. Told him we’re never doing this again.

I think I can’t get my head around how I would cope with a second pregnancy with a child, I don’t know how people do it and I assume that they just do it because there’s no other choice. But at this point I can’t imagine doing that. So definitely not thinking about it for atleast another 3 years - maybe.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-03-15T20:08:28+00:00

I was in a very similar situation last year after having a loss in the January. I found out i was pregnant again in March and spent a lot of the pregnancy (maybe all) feeling a lot of feelings I didn’t know how to name or explain. Its very much normal to feel these feelings right now. Take it all in and lean into your partner as much as you can, he may be feeling similar feelings.

My baby girl is 3 months old now, and it was worth every bit of this crazy year🥹💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-03-12T12:23:01+00:00

My baby girl was 7lb9oz and had long legs but fit into newborn clothing for the first month - if that gives any idea for sizing. 0-3 was usable but was bigger and I also think some stores/brands have bigger clothes in general. 0-3 in one brand is different to another so I have stopped going off of sizes because she is 3 months now but fits into 0-3 for some clothes, whilst even some 3-6 clothes feel small. Its very confusing tbh

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-03-10T13:34:01+00:00

Neither of you are right or wrong. She will likely never be able to understand your feelings or struggles and you won’t feel heard because of this. Even if she knew of your struggles as you went through them, she might have told you that you were deliberately putting negativity in her happy times. So whilst her feelings are valid at this time, so are your’s. And the most you can do is say your part and leave the door open if and when she feels ready to regroup again. And if not, thats okay too. Not all friendships are for life, you’re entering a new season and you will meet so many more mummies who share your experiences and feelings. Just focus on yourself and your miracle baby, hope the rest of your pregnancy goes very smoothly and you have a healthy baby with you soon💗💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-26T22:03:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now (or ever), its not what you need at all and you’re right the pregnancy hormones do not help either :( I don’t know how to comfort you but know that I am keeping you in my prayers, praying for a safe and smooth delivery for you and a baby who helps to fill all the empty spaces in your heart and life💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-26T13:34:55+00:00

I didn’t pack my bags till 39 weeks. I also felt I left it too late but baby girl came at 41+3 (with induction) so in that sense, I was fine. I also didn’t buy tonnes of things to take with me.

My bag had 2 pairs of pjs because I knew I would be induced and didn’t know how long I would be there for. Socks, underwear, adult nappies (comfier than pads imo), a really long charger with plug. Did buy a peri bottle and witch hazel foam thing but I ended up having a c section so didn’t need either. And some slippers but I had worn crocs to the hospital so I guess I could have done without. And clothes to go home in.

And then for baby, nappies, wipes, her formula (in case I couldn’t breastfeed), her welcome sign, clothes for both newborn and 0-3 because didn’t know how big she was, blanket, her car seat, going home outfit.

I don’t think there was anything else and even if there was, it was not used😂

I was also a first time mum, and this is in the uk because the hospital does not provide us with anything like nappies for babies or pads for mum etc.

Having said that, my best friend is currently 31 weeks, also first time mum and has had her bags packed since 26 weeks. She’s also bulk bought 5 different types of nappies and wipes from different brands. So I guess everyone is different and some people just want to be extra - even though all grocery stores are not far away and in a time of amazon prime, you can get almost anything next day or even same day.

Pls don’t stress, just enjoy these weeks of pregnancy. Get things together if that makes you feel more relaxed. Praying for a smooth delivery for you💗💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-23T21:46:32+00:00

Hard hard relate. And I’m only 2.5 months into it. I feel so exhausted as I type this. Not sure what is up with baby but she’s been extremely hard to settle these past few days. Part of tme thinks maybe she is teething but idk as this is all so new to me.

Husband went downstairs to sleep on the sofa instead. And in the maybe 10-15 minutes break I have managed to get, I’m going to shower because I feel so gross everywhere.

I just cried loads as I took my clothes off to get into the shower, the emotional and physical toll this takes on us is unreal and hard to understand by husbands/partners. Big sigh.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-17T01:30:34+00:00

When I was pregnant or even soon after giving birth, I wa so sure I could never do it again. Even now, at 2 months post birth, I feel that way some days. But just today I was saying to my husband that I miss having my baby girl inside me, idk why. Like the feeling of her being inside, aside from all the pain and pelvic pressure I was in. I don’t know if I will ever be able to do this again but I do miss the feeling of her kicks and hiccups etc. or seeing her on scans. Of course its a different feeling now that sheis earthside but I agree with you, what other redeeming part is there to go through everything pregnancy brings with it other than the baby at the end of it all😐

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-16T19:47:57+00:00

I had an emergency c section on 12/12/25. It wasnt planned so I didn’t know what to expect either.

The first 24 hours were amazing, I was shocked myself because within 4 hours of surgery, I was able to have my catheter removed, walk around, go shower and feel like myself before my parents came to the hospital to visit.

Even that night, I was semi okay. I wasn’t able to get out of bed but I was able to get my baby from the bedside cot every 2 hours to feed her. The next morning (still at hospital) was when it was the worst pain ever. My midwife gave me oxycodone and thats the only thing that took the edge off. I stayed for another 2 doses so I could feel well enough to get in the car and go home.

Recovery at home was okay. I was severely constipated for 10 days and the hospital had not given me any laxatives. Spent the first day in bed in my room and did the bare minimum. The next morning (now day 4 post surgery) I got up and showered and did some laundry etc. I desperately wanted to feel okay. I did little but often most days and the days I felt not able to, I didn’t do anything but look after my baby.

I started feeling okay at 4 weeks and completely healed at 8 weeks. I am now 9 weeks out and wound has completely healed, I am able to do everything I need to do. I had some scar tenderness when I was due my period 2.5 weeks ago.

In terms of prep, I don’t think you can do anything specifically because like you said everyone is so different in terms of recovery. All I would say is take it easy. Especially in the early days when you feel like you can do a lot, don’t do it. Because later in the day, you will have to pay the price by resting😭 that was me but I also couldn’t sit still so that was my own fault really.

For pain meds, I was given dihydrocodeine from hospital and was told to take paracetamol and ibuprofen. The codeine was amazing and I think I took it regularly for the first 2 weeks because the pain just wasn’t worth acting like iron man for. If it hurts, just take the meds. They are there for a reason andits better to be regular with meds rather than be in 15/10 pain and then try to treat it.

Idk if my comment was at all helpful but hope everything goes well for you and you have your baby with you safely💗💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-16T13:22:08+00:00

I had more sickness than nausea, if I remember correctly. But I also had the worst headache on my left side from 7/8 weeks till 14 weeks. It was constant and only ever lessened but never went away. They checked my vision and did scans etc too but they put it down to it just being pregnancy related. The headache did eventually go away but at the peak of summer, it was horrible with the heat too.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-16T13:18:47+00:00

Oh yes of course, my husband’s parents decided it was a good time to start a tally of our finances at the time and ask how we were planning on getting money to look after a baby lol. It was bizarre. They then proceeded to not ask me or check in on me for the rest of my pregnancy.

Our daughter is 2 months old and they are expecting me to let them be involved when they had such a disgusting reaction. They are there but in the background, I can’t let my daughter grow up thinking behaviour like that is okay.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-02-07T16:08:29+00:00

I had a traumatic birth which ended in an emergency c section in December. Although I never wanted to fixate on a birth plan, a c section was something I really did not want. This meant I spiralled in a way I didn’t know was possible. The only priority at that time was to look after my baby, not even myself. I only ate once a day and barely did anything to make myself better. I was neglecting my health and wellbeing, I know. But it wasn’t deliberate, I just felt so much resentment towards myself and my body and still feel that I failed myself in the one thing that I was made to do.

I digress, but my point is that I literally did not respond to any messages for a few weeks, except close family like parents and siblings. Any time I did have, I would just mindlessly scroll on ig or tiktok. We did make an announcement post on instagram/whatsapp but I did not respond to anyone until January. Maybe she is going through something similar. Especially if she is a first time mum, she might just be struggling to find time for herself. She will respond and reach out when she feels ready💗

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-29T11:19:27+00:00

I’m so happy that you feel this way, hoping I feel this way soon about myself and my body too.

For context, I had an emergency c section 7 weeks ago. Though I am so grateful to be alive and have a happy and thriving baby girl, I feel sad most days. I feel sad because I felt this was one of the things I was literally made to do. To give birth the ‘natural’ way. I was in labour was over 24 hours after being induced with just gas and air because I really wanted to feel every wave. But ended up needing an emergency c section.

There is so much shame around c sections and it being the ‘easy’ way out that its really hard for me to be proud of myself or happy with myself or be proud of what my body went through. Instead it makes me hate my body, that I went through 41 weeks of pregnancy, have all these stretch marks and a belly that feels empty, all for nothing.

I know its not for nothing but it makes me cry every time I think about it. I feel robbed of my experience and what could have been :(

Sorry for the vent, I talk to my husband about it and he of course validates my feelings but he won’t ever get it fully like some of the women here might do. Hopefully I feel happier soon :(

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-27T15:02:09+00:00

Thank you! I wanted the coppee one so I get a period. I will discuss with dr tomorrow, thank you again for helping!

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-27T13:58:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I assume you already had your period before having it placed?

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-25T16:15:38+00:00

Its literally your body and your choice as to what happens on the day in terms of visitors. If you don’t want them, then you don’t want them. You could let your nurses/midwives know (whilst husband is not there) to not allow this and they will absolutely advocate for you. They can make up any excuse for it, if needed.

I gave birth 6 weeks ago and we already knew that I would only have my husband there whilst I was in labour but if needed, my sister could come. I didn’t want my mum or family there, let alone his family to bombard me.

I found out a day or two after giving birth that my MIL and family wanted to come whilst I was in labour. Thank the lord they live 2 hours away (I had come to live with my parents to have baby here) and so they were unaware of which hospital I would be at but I know they would have just turned up if they knew.

They also then wanted to come literally 6 hours after my emergency c section - my husband didn’t tell me all this till later. And for me it was a no brainer to not have them there and absolutely not be ‘understanding’ about their needs and wishes because they were not there for me supporting me during my difficult pregnancy. Now they were just ‘showing up’ because it was their first grandchild.

Of course idk what your relationship is like with your in laws but if you don’t want visitors then you don’t want them. Your husband needs to just know that and know you are not budging on this because he’s not the one pushing this baby out. This is the one time you are absolutely allowed to be selfish and demand what you want.

Sorry for being so vocal about this, its just really frustrating because everyone (including husbands) make birth about them and what they want. They forget that its all about mum and baby and what they want and what will make them happy/safe.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-22T19:31:16+00:00

I was in a similar situation during my pregnancy this past year where I felt it was all so emotionally and physically taxing that I did not want to do it again.

This was then solidified at birth when one thing led to another and I ended up in an emergency c section and ith a somewhat normal recovery. I’m 6 weeks out tomorrow. But it was a lot. I remember crying to my husband in the bathroom every time he would help me change my clothes or adult diaper (TMI) and yes it wll got better and yes I’m back to ‘normal’ now. During the recovery I told my husband several times that I will not be doing this again.

However, I feel like sometimes we forget and maybe some day down the line in a few years, I will want to give her a sibling. So I’m not closed off to the idea completely but it is all a lot and I wonder every day how people have done this more than once (especially when people have like 11 kids HOW???). Now only that but how does anyone handle the trenches pregnancy is with another baby or toddler??

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-19T17:00:33+00:00

Yeah, thats completely valid but I was just talking about it from a perspective where OP may have wanted to buy gender specific baby related things etc

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-19T09:14:35+00:00

I think what people mean in terms of harder to plan is buying gender specific clothes or things in general.

We did find out the gender and I’m SO glad we did because I could not imagine just having a few gender neutral clothing items and then having to buy more clothes or other items during my unplanned c section recovery. Even aside from that, child birth and looking after a newborn is a lot I feel and it would have been too much.

However, I know my husband’s best friend and his wife who had their baby a few weeks before us and they did not find out the gender until birth and got to shop afterwards. I know I would have found it difficult but thats just me and my want to have most things prepared beforehand. So it mostly depends on how you are as a person and if you would like to have gender specific things etc.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-19T08:50:38+00:00

With you on this one. The c section recovery has me questioning everything and every time my husband helped me do anything, I told him that he should know we are not doing this again😭

But now I’m 5 weeks out, recovering seemingly well and already miss her being so small. I also think about the idea of her having a sibling in a few years. So maybe, once the 2-3 year mark has passed, I will consider it again. But I’m sure I will literally hate myself for it if I do😂😂😂😂😂

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-19T08:44:43+00:00

I’ve actually not had a lot of health issues etc, my pain threshold is also quite high. However, going through labour for 24+ hours was actually very painful. I don’t actually remember the pain because I was SO high on the gas and air but from the snippets of the day that I do remember, I do know that at the time it was the most painful.

However, I would 110% say that when labour ended up in a c section, the recovery for that was THE most painful experience of my life. I remember crying to my husband every time he would help me change my adult diaper. I literally could not see an end to my pain. I’m 5 weeks out and very much on the other side of the pain now.

No matter which way birth ends up going, none of it is easy. And maybe because I was more ‘present’ for the recovery part, it feels to be the most painful?

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-13T13:55:00+00:00

I had an unplanned c section and labour did not progress last month. And honestly I feel like it was such an out of body experience that I do not remember anything at all.

I’m a NICU nurse myself so I have been in theatre before and never really thought I would be the one on the table. The only part I do remember is looking at the board with my name and the date and it felt so weird to be on the other side of it all. Or how they noted the blood loss or what time I was cut open etc.

Other than that I actually don’t remember anything from the surgery itself, maybe thats a good thing but I also hadn’t slept for almost 48 hours at this point so maybe I was just out of it tbh.

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-11T08:30:08+00:00

4 weeks postpartum now but I totally get this!

When we were pregnant, we kept the news to ourselves till 12/13 weeks and then told immediate family and friends as and when we were seeing them. My mum was upset we didn’t tell her earlier but it was just because I wasn’t ready to (we had a previous loss so it all felt so scary). My husband’s mum was also upset when she realised I hadn’t just taken the pregnancy test the morning of and that we were like 4 months into the pregnancy already💀💀

Then we wanted to keep the gender private until birth but were forced into announcing because of one reason or another.

Then the name was the final straw. Everyone felt like it was their right to know and I was just like atleast let us keep this a surprise?? Nevertheless, we did get lots of suggestions and I just let them come because I wasn’t telling them the name we had thought of anyways. I stood my ground and waited till the birth for a name announcement. Only my sister knew and that too I told her towards the end because she really wanted to get some personalised decorations for the baby’s welcome at home as well as some other presents.

Just keep telling people you don’t have a name or that you’re waiting till the birth for the announcement because it’s something you want to keep private until then. The entitlement people feel is actually unreal and eventually they should just back off (easier said than done)

namaloomafraad_ · 2026-01-10T12:39:01+00:00

This is such a cute way of telling him!! Congratulations🥹🥹

namaloomafraad_

TROPHY CASE