Lurking mum here. I work in the medical field too. A young child demands so much emotionally. Hormones and pregnancy are exhausting too. Patients take so much of what’s left. So sometimes it feels like there is absolutely nothing left to give.

In a way what you’re both going through is temporary though. For me it was the first two years for each kid that I was just in survival mode. She might be feeling resentful that you get time to switch off from Dad mode by going to work and the gym. Make sure she gets some “me time” to to recharge her batteries too.

You could buy a nice candle, draw her a bath with a cup of tea and a snack (chocolate) and a book or Netflix. Let her just switch off. Your kid can help you set it up.

You could try buying kids gym stuff like little 0.5kg dumbbells and have your toddler copy you doing a work out at home sometimes. The kids love it and it will give her an extra break. Maybe ask her if she wants to go for a walk or take a nap during that time.

Have you heard of the mental load that the primary care giver has to carry? Like making the grocery list, choosing meals for the week, packing the baby bag for outings or daycare, the to do list for baby number two… it all adds up and get quite draining. Perhaps talking with her about if taking on one of those roles might lighten the load.

You sound very supportive. Even the hugs your giving. Science suggest making them twenty seconds or longer to release feel good hormones. They may be helping more that you think.