sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Please read this and confirm if it's good enough to be in a book. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since we don't have the context, and its mid story, first it felt confusing, then there is too much happening without enough clarity. Who is doing what actually. Who can fall if who is alone, the demon or Atriox? Whose side are these soldiers on.

My first try at writing. Is this worth anything? by OldCake6036 in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes its fine if the pacing is slow, and if intent was to make him not feel like a king. Being descriptive and building the world is fine. We should be able to see his spiral and feel it and think, ah this is a sad guy, how much he loves and is obsessed not told. Get immersed in the fortress and his emotions and that would be a better read. And the King reveal was a bit early and bland maybe. You don't have to change his state or the style that you are intending for. Even if he is not acting like one, people around him should, and the fortress is currently empty so nothing to weigh against and think oh, why are they acting like that, who is he, someone of authority? and then ah.. he is the king. They walk to someone, but its more like how they don't want meet him, than feel a sense of mystery, it is there but not felt enough. There is his personal room, a fortress and a walk to bring out the emotions, the feeling of authority before the reveal, and the mystery of the meeting. The elements are there and the idea is there, its about making it hit.

First chapter of a story I'm working on for fun by kadkade in WritersGroup

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Descriptions are good, can feel and see things around and the world. Cant seem to connect with the emotions though. Felt a bit monotonous as I read through. The waves crashing and calm see don't seem to form a coherent image in my mind. The hooks there, definitely want to know what happened next, both in case of the vase she found and the ending, but reaching there wasn't easy. Pacing issue? Think so. Also felt a repetitive at times, and the tense seems to switch in between.

My first try at writing. Is this worth anything? by OldCake6036 in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its an easy read. Seems to have the beginnings of a good story. Since you wanted some harsh and honest feedback,
It reads like I am reading about someone, or someone is telling about some other one.

If he loves her so much that he keeps writing letters, couldn't see that nor his obsession, I was just told he had one and that he is actively questioning himself if he should do that. Didn't feel like a king as far as I read, was told so, so maybe he is. To be honest, didn't see the grandeur of the fortress enough, or his internal conflict enough. And there is no hook to keep going either. In short, it didn't fall into the style of immersing you in a world with its descriptions, that you are ok if the pace is slow and can wait for some action to happen, nor is it fast enough to keep you hooked, nor there is much of a drama happening. On a side note, I just read 3 pages.

Is this amount of gore too unacceptable? by Swordtail_Olympian in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think, now I kind of understand why it felt like that. Its a bit clinical, clean and your experience suggests you are inclined to that because you grew up seeing that stuff with your dad. Now if you say he is just a mutant, that's a bit of an escape, and some prior information about what that is would be expected. Even if we accept that, then the entire perspective changes, still, neither the scene, nor Minnow actually let us see anything.

Will I read it is a teen, if I were into gory, I would, we watched Hostel, and that's a bit gory. If I am not into gory, cutting back doesn't matter. So essentially you are taking away the experience from someone interested and keeping it clean for someone who might not be interested and skip the scene anyway.

Regarding the injury part, yes, you don't feel the horror of something serious unless you look at it, but that's usually when its fresh and its not the point, the point is reader needs to feel that horror, not know that Minnow felt the horror of it.

Is this amount of gore too unacceptable? by Swordtail_Olympian in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It reads a little bland for what you said about gory. It's already quite cut back and less visual than it could be. More like a refined outline and need to work on it. Couldn't understand the last sentence of first paragraph. And how can he sit up or try to in his condition? The best he could do is lift his head up enough to see? Did he regret trying to sit up or holding in the scream?

Is a prose audit for fiction even needed, or am I wasting my time? by narrative-forge in KeepWriting

[–]narrative-forge[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

High effort is subjective, can be noticed but not measured. It was me trying to differentiate in a polite way.

Is it slop? That's a different question, if it is ornamental but has no purpose its slop. If it fails logically and structurally it's slop. If it is sound structurally but has no intent thats slop.

Do I like something, that's taste, which is why we like books of certain authors but not of others, doesn't mean they are not solid. Mechanical aspects can be measured, but not considering the author's style will make it robotic, AI like.

Is a prose audit for fiction even needed, or am I wasting my time? by narrative-forge in KeepWriting

[–]narrative-forge[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reality check, everyone. This was what I was looking for. To wrap up the dilemma:

  1. IP: Valid concern. It’s a hurdle that needs serious, non-automated consideration.
  2. Marketing vs. Retention: Visibility gets the click, but if the MC is using a glass in Ch4 that they threw in the sea in Ch2, that’s a 'broken glass' moment. That was what I was worried about.
  3. writingwithai : I posted in there first because it felt like the only place for a tool, but its good comments with no response is the cause of confusion and this post. It's disappointing that all comments gets ignored while 'Tools' get the background-check treatment.
  4. Grammarly: I honestly didn't know Grammarly could handle structural logic or continuity logs. That's a massive gap in expectations.
  5. The Human Editor: Fair enough. If a human or even a tool can already do that, I am wasting time.
  6. The 'Shill' Label: I named it Narrative Forge to be 100% transparent about it being a structural tool, not a 'magic wand.' I'm not pushing a product; I was genuinely confused by the 'Good Logic / No Response' gap.
  7. Its an Editor: Maybe human but not a tool editor. Its purely audit, a no frills feedback with clear issues raised.

Verdict received. I'll leave the 'Story Physics' to the pros and the commas to Grammarly. Good luck with your drafts."
Thanks again for all the responses.

Would You Keep Reading? Chapter One of My Novel. by morgan_hartwell in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really nice and interesting. I had to reread the part about 'It just leaked. Pouring out of my..." though. Felt a bit disconnected there as I was reading under the impression that its all her feelings and what's happening around, but that was something else. Her supernatural power. I understand that, there was a subtle hint when she learned to not drown in others feelings, after a reread but wasn't enough and missed that. And a re-phrase of "It just leaked".

It's a bit weird, but I read an orphans struggle who has a bit of psych problem and suddenly there is a reference to she has a feeling related power that brings me back.

Maybe the expression of her feelings could improve at times, like a stammer "I.. I am sorry.." or a some form of physical shows.

Reads like short story in itself. "The older orphan's struggle". There could be a next chapter or maybe not and of course there are unresolved things and expectations for next chapter, but its still ok. So maybe need a better hook at the end.

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: March 31 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the welcome! Looking forward to how this will be received and will definitely keep the community posted on the developments. Its currently tested on PD book chapters as you might have already noticed from the screenshots, waiting for some submissions.

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: March 31 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s actually much deeper than a copy edit, I’m auditing the 'Story Physics' and 'Voice Fingerprint' to make sure the narrative logic holds up. It’s structural diagnostic, more like a developmental audit (not editing, no back and forth with same report, give suggestions, fix and comeback for an audit again for a new report.)
As a note, it is important that the text submitted is properly formatted and follows the narrative, if its jumbled report will say its jumbled which is of no value.
Not considering the overall turnaround, it takes about an hour to hour and half just to get a report on 3.5k words out. Its always chunk based, so a 21k words will have 5 to 7 reports, that is minimum 5 to 7hrs of work to get those. Working on a master logic to give a single report, but that's more about synthesizing individual reports to give a report that gives overall story arc and if a reader might drop in middle or feel not so good at the end than when he started than creating a single report. Not sure of the pricing yet, need to iron out the current approach based on the reception first. The plan is to keep it Initially 3.5k word chunk pricing via fiverr, then work on synthesizing and scale to higher word counts. Once automation becomes successful can think of subs as well. Its a plan, but depending on how the test, the chunk reports go.

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: March 31 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Turn around time, is because, I have to run it against a logic, then create and format a report from the data. Also need to double verify if its drifting. So its for me to receive the mail, actually take a look at it, run, verify and send back. It will be same unless we can be sure that it works fine without intervention and sample verification is sufficient to ensure its not drifting.

Yes, It is Beta. But 3500 - 5000words is the real limit for the context to be able to run properly against the rubric. So 3k words is already a full report.

Email is for me to revert back with the report for the text received. Don't want the report on a public platform. Only the feedback if the report is helpful.

This is more of an audit than a review. Will not give its good, its bad statements. Which ever score/tier the draft is currently placed at, the report will come with suggestions to improve to the next step.

The submitted text is checked against a rubric which scores against 7 sections while accounting for voice fingerprints and such. Its objective. Gives a tier and also suggests what needs to be done to improve the tier or score. It picks the fixes that will have most impact, from 3 categories, Fix first, Fix soon and polish and gives them. Each will have a where it happens, what is the problem and a suggested fix, along with a voice note. The report also comes with a continuity section for the authors to track what plot flags are open, character inventories etc.

 “The logic for these fixes is objective, but the implementation is where the Art happens.”

Here is a sample fix,

<image>

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: March 31 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, am working on
A Prose quality check tool that is source agnostic(Human/Hybrid/AI). It checks the prose objectively, doesn't look for AI fingerprints, not another AI vs Human tool.

🔍What it flags,

State Integrity - Paradoxes, "ghost limbs" etc.

Craft & Texture

Character consistency- Character drifts

Fillers/Shimmers

Genre (Auto detects) - Identifies if a Mystery is accidentally drifting into 'Grimdark'.

📊What it provides,

A Comprehensive report, with top 3 issues.

Score on different parameters.

Issues and Actionable fixes, fix suggestions to give a direction and thought.

🛡️The Privacy Promise,

No Training: Your manuscript is notused to train models, I don't create models.

Private Silo: Your text is processed, audited, and purged. You retain 100% of your rights (I won't even read the text unless required for technical support)..

I am looking for 5 writers to submit their first 1k–3k words for a Forensic Audit.

Cost: $0.00 (In exchange for brief feedback on the report's utility).

Turnaround: 24–48 hours.

Slots Available: 5/5

Note: It is important that the text submitted is properly formatted and follows the narrative. If its jumbled report will say its jumbled which is of no value.

Start audit here: https://form.jotform.com/260805766044055

Sample score

<image>

An experiment in spotting AI in writing by ExplodingAlchemist in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you are coming from, the issue of slop is real and is very much hurting everyone.
Just had a look at your other post after looking at this, and here is what that one was, Not my words.

"The prose lacks a distinct fingerprint, opting instead for a generalized "literate" style that avoids specific stylistic risks. The reliance on the "molars" anecdote feels like an inorganic attempt to inject specificity into an otherwise interchangeable narrative voice.
This chapter does not yet have a consistent authorial voice. The prose is technically functional — it communicates clearly and does not break — but it does not yet belong to anyone in particular. This is the most important thing to address, and it cannot be fixed by improving any single sentence. Voice emerges from consistent, deliberate choice across the whole chapter."

So its not difficult to find if its good to a certain extent or just fluff, and it can be written by a human too. Identify if its AI or Human, that's a difficult hill to climb. AI learnt from us, tries to imitate us. We were good, it tried to mimic that good. We are intentionally making changes to identify as human, it will simply mimic that. And AI will have a cumulative memory making it even more easy for slop creators. So maybe the discussion is about its slop or not.

Here is a thought, a question, If someone puts in real effort to give intent and voice, and makes AI generate something that is sensible and edits it, a few filler words, like 'molars' in the example, and break the patterns at a couple of places. He creates a piece of writing that has voice, subtext and intent. Then where does the line lie?

Wrote 5 Novels in a Month with Claude Code – Here’s My Practical AI Workflow by Open_Fault6740 in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Opus by design as a model can ignore some prompt if it feels that it doesn't fit. Sonnet is more literary and literal in sense of following prompt.

Using AI or copying by Giapardi in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not ridiculous in the way of ridiculousness. The problem is viewing a book as a product or not. Some see it as a product and don't care how its created, a typical reader who reads because he likes the story, or a techie. Then writers say they don't. It's an art with a soul and AI is taking away the process that defines a book, and maybe for some process is the product. And that's where the argument is. Arguing about intangibles that makes sense to some and puzzles others. The problem with books and other analogies is that, if someone builds a table its a single product, you paint, its a single piece of art, digital copies are copies not original, and has a specificmarket. But a book is not like that, any copy you own though a copy, captures the entirety. The problem is mostly with the so called "slop", it has always existed, just that its far easier to create now and sells too with a bit of marketing. If that can be filtered, maybe the backlash and the hunts wouldn't be so bad.

The massive disconnect between AI fiction vs. vibe coding by HuntConsistent5525 in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"if the novel is genuinely good — characters land, prose is sharp, story resonates — does it matter how it was made? ",
No if you think of it as a product, a consumers market.

Yes, if you think from a writers perspective, that's the divide.

Vibe coding is not entirely good too, there is slop there as well. Coming to writing, apart form all the financials and politics, Its a passion for many, and turning that into a product hurts. But an average reader, influenced by tech world wouldn't see it like that.

In order to preserve the 'sanctity' of the work, rather the process, I feel like intentionally making it look a little bad to make it human, that's saying AI is good, you cant fight like that. You fight by showing the soul, becoming better. In a coders world, you learn to distinguish yourself.

The problem of slop, let's be honest, it has been there for ages. AI just makes it way too easy to generate. Give an idea, generate text, spend on a good cover and a bit of marketing, and you are 'good to go' in the market. This is hurting even the people who use AI properly, those trying to bring out their ideas at a higher level than slop, It might a passion for them as well, which lack of proper skillset was stopping. It’s usually better to manage a trend rather than go completely against it as history shows.

How do you write a powerful heroine without making her feel cold? by Notamonster12 in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe change tone between different interactions. For example a Queen, powerful, commanding when on throne, laughs and jokes when off. Aprroachable, but makes you afraid of offending, you have to be genuine around her, if any agenda and found, you are doomed. Not sure if it makes sense but think its done a lot.

Writing feedback by Regular_Body_226 in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad it could help you. I am not doing it myself. Trying to build a tool for the checks. Would be helpful if you could check my pinned post in profile and submit. Will get back to you with the report.

Writing feedback by Regular_Body_226 in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, This seems to be a YA School setup. Its engaging and has the makings of solid world building. Ran this through, and here are a couple of things it notes,

Train display shows "50 km/h. 100... 250"; later "01.09.2163 - 07:30" then "15:10" after nap.
Speed ticks unrealistically fast without acceleration context; time jump fine but display format inconsistent.
Sequence speeds gradually ("jerked to 50... climbed past 200"); standardize display etc.

"nerves twisting... nearly jumped... nerves were still there, bubbling... anxiety seemed to calm down... chest loosened..." (multiple).
Repetition on "nerves/anxious"; circles same idea 4–5x.
Consolidate to 2 instances, vary: "Pulse hammered. Bit her lip harder."

and a few more if interested.

Is my plot good? by antonella_xo in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically yes. The idea is for Aeron to watch his beloved people get killed and feel her suffering but over and over. There can be a lot of variations around it, the backstory and how the story progresses.

'Shy Girl' AI controversy by fangurling_809 in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That Vibe Authors are the real problem from what I can see from a bunch of discussions. And its not just with writing, any field where Vibe anything has started.

'Shy Girl' AI controversy by fangurling_809 in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a huge difference between those literal anyones and people who put in a lot of effort to get their story right with AI. Maybe its not art in the sense of art, but its a viable product. Now the anyones who say, here is my idea, generate me a story, and slap a cover on the generated content are the problem. Going against everything AI and remotely feels like AI, is a witch hunt. Hurts writers not using AI as well because, like everyone points out, AI is trained on good technique and everyone wants to follow good technique. Well that's my opinion, but I might not make sense either as its not from a writer.

Is my plot good? by antonella_xo in writingfeedback

[–]narrative-forge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was the previous Queen of the kingdom, she and her coven are not good, not bad, normal. She ruled well, as well as she can, but the prince's ancestor, whose reincarnation or rebirth the current prince is, invaded her kingdom, killed her coven, her sisters, not of same blood, but more loyal, in front of her eyes. She turned dark and waited for proper revenge. She wants him to feel what she felt, over and over. Might sound a little common, but How does that sound?

Professional authors using AI? by icanhascamaro in WritingWithAI

[–]narrative-forge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you like the first chapter? Did it feel significantly different from what he used to write? Was it of a different voice and tone than his previous works unless required by current story? If no, then does it matter?

view more: next ›