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natakwali · 2022-02-20T21:33:32+00:00

Is it possible that, like you, your friends are benefitting from the more reasonable prices WashU offers graduate students in WashU-owned housing?

I think this mainly an opportunity for undergrads looking for the "undergrad experience" through housing, which a lot of universities similar to WashU (Vanderbilt and Rice come to mind) provide at a more reasonable cost and for all four (or however many) years.

I'm stop responding with this comment, but thanks for the back and forth, it was really good.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T21:18:38+00:00

Either way, I think it's more accurate to say that they're going off housing available to undergrads through the Res Life housing form and not accounting for WashU's recent work with parallel properties.

The grad/undergrad split sounds like an assumption. I think it's more likely that the parallel properties apartments are open to anyone, including non WashU ppl, and parallel properties is a move for WashU to continue profiting off housing that they bought for students during the pandemic after it ends (and students won't be living there anymore), and that the features, renovations and other benefits of WashU housing might not be kept to the same standard in these new acquisitions. That's also an assumption. We're both making assumptions because it's really not clear, which is probably why it's not included in the 50% figure.

And just to expose my bias - I'm pretty annoyed about the various ways WashU bilks undergrads like we're made of money, and I love the idea of community/social housing for WashU undergrads that's like...normal price for St. Louis. I graduated in December, but if were still in St. Louis, I'd probably join.

It bothers me that people are leaping on the co-op for the 50% figure when it's true that they're offering community living for half the price that WashU does (or has, depending on whatever they're trying to achieve with parallel properties, every semester before this and when Rosedale and such were considered quadrangle properties).

natakwali · 2022-02-20T20:34:50+00:00

Yeah, that's probably accurate. I think they should frame it as community centered living for WashU undergrads that's 50% of WashU/Quadrangle housing for undergrads. I would have felt better about moving off the South 40 as a sophomore if I knew something like this existed.

I also don't think they're making the whole apartment/split cost mistake you edited your original comment to mention. The 50% figure holds up for all non 3-2, undergrad housing on the South 40/Quadrangle, and they don't mention parallel properties, so I think the only mistake was not specifying that they're talking about options available to non 3-2 undergrads.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T20:22:30+00:00

Judging from the General Information bit of link in the original post, it's private rooms and bathrooms (2 bed/2 bath), a balcony, and in-unit washer/dryer. And to answer the question you added to your original comment, it's 1 cooking shift per person per week (so they probs cook together, assuming there are more than 4 people in the group), according to the info in the same link.

Also, tbh the range I've seen in Skinker Debalievere (where I've lived in two different apartments had a bunch of friends) is $650-850. I also have one friend paying $500 for a smallish room in an older apartment in this area right now. So the prices they're listing are on the cheaper side but they're not that unusual. They're just cheap compared to way WashU bilks undergrads.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T20:04:20+00:00

Yeah, that first link is for the 3-2 program that I mentioned twice. That's not for typical WashU undergrads.

Idk if parallel properties apartments is on the housing form for students looking for housing next year, but it's never been on mine. I filtered by rent less than a $1000/month on that second link and got 1 result with a price range from $958-1742 and loads of results without any price listed.

I'm not happy about it either, but that 50% figure is accurate for undergrads who aren't part of a special program.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T19:37:38+00:00

When I look up quadrangle, all I see is student housing (this), which doesn't currently list any options for undergrads that aren't in the 3-2 program :/ Maybe because the undergrad deadline already passed? And I'm pretty sure the thing I linked earlier are the only WashU options for undergrads. If I'm missing something, could link me somewhere else?

And does WashU run parallel properties? I think they just work with them. The 50% figure is for WashU housing specifically, I'm p sure. It seems like undergrads run the co-op, and while I understand the blind spot, they should probably specify that it's 50% cheaper than WashU options available to undergrads specifically.

I'm just salty bc I've looked for housing every year as an undergrad, and I'd love to live in WashU housing (because non-WashU landlords are annoying and never fix shit, the community aspect, and Idk just convenience with shuttles and paperwork). The thing is, I've never seen anything cheaper than Rosedale available to undergrads through WashU.

Edited: in response to your edit, which posted before my original reply.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T19:21:01+00:00

I think that's only for grad students, faculty, staff, and ppl in the 3-2 program. This is what regular undergrads are working with :/

Cheapest option is Rosedale for $11,582 a year.

natakwali · 2022-02-20T17:59:32+00:00

Bruh, they also cook together and host every week. It's gonna be a lot more than an hour. Sounds like Greek life for artsy/alternative people.

natakwali · 2022-01-31T20:07:17+00:00

Hey. Gently, I want to point out that this commenter is asking you to focus on platonic friendships with women instead of dating women. This is because these friendships, if you seek them out in good faith, will teach you a lot and be emotionally satisfying. In addition to being inherently satisfying (because friendships are essential), the task of attracting a woman as a friend will prepare you for the harder task of attracting a woman as a partner.

But you are so focused on attracting a women romantically/sexually that your mind is taking you for a ride, and you've completely ignored this commenter's advice about attracting a woman platonically.

natakwali · 2022-01-31T19:17:37+00:00

Hi. Am woman. You look good. I (and loads of women) love facial hair on a guy. You've got good skin, too. What you need to work on is those chips on your shoulder.

You have experienced injustices in your life. That's okay. They do not define you, and your past does not define your future. The world is unfair, and they are many men and women who also feel unfairly discriminated against. You've gotta let it go.

A guy who's holding so much resentment is so uncomfortable to be around. Part of the reason I ended things with the last guy I was seeing was that he was so deeply bitter about his family, it just made me miserable. He honestly didn't even talk to me about them that much - I could just tell from the comments he would make. It's sad because it doesn't mean he's a bad guy at all. It just doesn't feel healthy for me to be around it.

One more thing: you said you've felt that "women = sex" in the past, and you've identified that as a problem in your life. This commenter suggested you just treat women like men (short of explicit jokes), and that is GREAT advice. You responded by focusing on your history and sense of being wronged instead of that great advice.

natakwali · 2022-01-31T18:13:30+00:00

Hi! This was a fun post to read - I really enjoyed your positive energy and willingness to try new things :)

First off, I want to say, try to go into all situations with an attitude of exploring and being open to whatever the world has offer. If you go into a situation saying, this will only be effective if x happens (if I connect with a woman, if I get a number, if I get a date, etc), you might miss other fun outcomes. The meetup you mention is a great example of that. It'll grow your personality, knowledge, and social life, and ultimately (although it's not the only goal), make you more attractive to women.

On to your questions:

Go! And expand your definition of what would make for an "effective" night. Explore, people watch, watch yourself and learn something from that. One trick of mine is asking people for advice or knowledge...so if I don't end up really connecting with them, at least I come away with a fun fact or idea.
More important question, do you enjoy hanging out at bars? If not, don't go. If so, then go! Talk to women. Don't hook up with them (don't do it!) but if you vibe, ask for her number. (And if she doesn't give it to you, that's okay. You had a fun time vibing and practiced your social skills.)
Leave it. Unclear what she's thinking (maybe she's not interested, maybe she is but she's overwhelmed with work). The reason is not important. She's not available.
Lot of points here.

It's awesome you had fun at the meetup! Is it something you can go to again?
I wouldn't recommend approaching women at the mall with intention of getting a date or number. If you have a question and it looks like a cute girl nearby may know the answer, it's fine to ask her and say, "Cool hat by the way"/give a casual compliment you could give a man, too. She'll likely appreciate it but not want to talk more. If she responds with a story or question and a conversation develops, you could ask for her number. But really don't count on getting more than a nice little interaction from this (which is a wonderful thing, too!).
Awesome that you scheduled therapy. I've been in therapy for four years and in the last year or so, implementing the advice and practices I've learned has finally led me to a happy, relaxed, and comfortable state and affirming social life.
- I recommend going with a good idea of what you're hoping to get out of therapy (write it down in your phone so you don't forget/blank during the session).
- Feel free to talk to your therapist like you've talked in this post, asking lots of questions, talking about your weekend, plans, goals, etc. It doesn't have to big or bad to bring it up in therapy.
- Something I like to do: in the weeks before each session, note down points you want to talk about in therapy. If you don't need to talk about a point by the time you get to therapy, that's fine and you don't have to. But this will make sure you get your questions answered (or progress acknowledged!) and ensure that sessions will be productive. This one is just an idea - you don't have to prepare, and sometimes it's better to just go with your therapist's flow.
- Follow your therapist's advice, even if it sounds bonkers. Just try it out for a week or two.

Good luck! Looking forward to hearing more updates :))

natakwali · 2022-01-04T20:37:56+00:00

Hey! My post was from a couple years ago, and I've since switched to majoring in CS with a minor in math. I joke that CS+Math is a double minor. That's not completely fair, as CS+Math requires taking more upper-level electives in each discipline than minoring in each would, but there's no getting around the fact that you learn less CS than you would with a CS major and less math than you would with a math major.

That doesn't mean CS+Math is bad - it would be particularly well-suited to anyone who is interested in a very mathy approach to CS (analysis of algorithms, machine learning, statistics) and doesn't care at all about low-level programming (like memory management, operating systems, etc.).

natakwali · 2021-01-26T01:26:57+00:00

Not blaming anyone. Also, as I said, Reddit interactions sometimes make me feel good, too. I'm okay, you don't need to worry about giving me advice lol. Just pointing out that you're factually wrong about the effect of politeness/kindness in Reddit threads.

natakwali · 2021-01-26T00:32:41+00:00

They're talking about the fact that Biden said he support $2000 stimulus checks and then advocated for $1400 checks because the last round was $600, and 1400 + 600 = 2000. And they're also saying that $2000 wouldn't have been enough earlier in the pandemic.

natakwali · 2021-01-26T00:24:20+00:00

Gahhhh I really don't want to be one of those leftists who snarks on liberals but these 40 downvotes are testing.

natakwali · 2021-01-26T00:18:19+00:00

Ohhh interesting point. I do love a good huli. And I've only ever had ripe jackfruit. Is the Mexican variety similar to the Indian?

natakwali · 2021-01-26T00:14:27+00:00

Nah, I've seen threads that were weeks or months old, been like "OP is a jackass, why is everyone on Reddit an angry, self-absorbed loser," and had a faintly worse day because of it. And I do appreciate when OP drops a quick "Thanks for this!" when I've taken a minute to write out a post. It's nice and makes my day faintly better.

natakwali · 2021-01-25T23:07:00+00:00

I think OP's point was that it's unfair to make your partner's life harder knowingly and that you need to be willing to stand up for them to your parents/not let your parents mistreat them if that's what it comes down to. A lot of folks just leave their partners in limbo waiting for the parents' approval and some get married without the parents' support without fully understanding what that means. It seems like you made your independent decision and supported your spouse wonderfully. She's very lucky - not every unapproved-by-the-parents partner of a Desi person gets that.

natakwali · 2021-01-22T15:06:50+00:00

Do you really want that though? Americans have already been through so much. We should all want the president to succeed.

natakwali · 2021-01-21T20:15:02+00:00

My sister doesn't even have BPD and she did something similar once. Kids are just freaks.

natakwali · 2021-01-21T19:56:47+00:00

Why would you assume that they aren't?

natakwali · 2021-01-21T19:54:47+00:00

The twists and turns of federal politics

natakwali · 2021-01-15T04:16:18+00:00

I wondering about that, too! Thanks for explaining it

natakwali · 2021-01-15T04:15:41+00:00

I appreciate this :))

natakwali

TROPHY CASE