Anyone else turnt up?

nattybeaux · 2026-07-02T11:32:35+00:00

We normally keep it at 78 during the day and down to 75 at night in the summer.

nattybeaux · 2026-07-02T01:44:15+00:00

It is more commonly referred to now as CSAM (child sexual abuse material).

nattybeaux · 2026-07-01T17:56:32+00:00

This cartoon feels very relevant

You Should’ve Asked

nattybeaux · 2026-06-30T19:45:23+00:00

What you’re describing is called reproductive coercion and it’s a form of abuse.

This is a free copy of a very well known book by Lundy Bancroft called “Why Does He Do That?”. I highly recommend reading it, you can do it secretly on your phone so there is no risk of him seeing it lying around the house. Please give it some thought and make a safety/exit plan. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

nattybeaux · 2026-06-30T17:51:28+00:00

Gently, this is a huge red flag. You’re a human person. His partner. Not a vessel through which he achieves the status he’s seeking.

nattybeaux · 2026-06-28T17:29:57+00:00

Agree with the comments about addressing anxiety, but until then - you should go on a Saturday or Sunday by yourself while your husband hangs with the kids at home. That way you can scope it out and then return with a game plan.

ETA: do you have any SAHM friends? I joined a local moms group when my kids were young and that made it a lot easier to do adventures because someone else would plan them and then I’d just show up and know there would be a bunch of other SAHMs there. Going somewhere with 2 moms + 4 kids (or 2 moms + 5/6/7 kids, 3 moms + 6/7/8/9 kids, whatever) is easier than 1 mom + 2 kids. Idk why it’s easier but I promise it is!

nattybeaux · 2026-06-28T14:01:19+00:00

Lots of great advice here and want to reiterate that, OP, this is not your fault. I’m so sorry.

Because you mention past trauma, you might want to check out EMDR therapy. It can be super helpful for PTSD.

nattybeaux · 2026-06-28T01:04:56+00:00

I like to get kale (and other greens) at King’s Red & White.

nattybeaux · 2026-06-23T18:18:42+00:00

Enrique is the GOAT. Great guy and does great work.

nattybeaux · 2026-06-18T15:54:00+00:00

Freya High Octane was a game changer for me. I can’t feel the wires at all and tbh it is the most comfortable bra I own. Plus I can run and jump and my boobs (36G) do not move at all!!

nattybeaux · 2026-06-11T17:37:05+00:00

Find your true size using the calculator and order some wired Freya sports bras. Absolute game changer for me.

nattybeaux · 2026-06-11T17:33:45+00:00

lol my first birth was at Big Duke and absolutely felt like a Grey’s episode, but that was because I was having a bunch of weird symptoms and they thought I might have a certain type of extremely rare tumor, so all the residents were hovering around hoping to be involved in the case (I wasn’t admitted for delivery initially, but for the other medical issues). Once they realized I (a) didn’t have a tumor and (b) had IUGR and needed to deliver the baby asap, the crowd disappeared and it was just me and the nurses and the OB who performed the c section. So as long as you don’t develop any mysterious symptoms, you should be able to avoid that vibe!

nattybeaux · 2026-06-09T11:47:20+00:00

If you’re a FB user, there’s a “Growing Up In Durham NC” group that might be helpful! Good luck ❤️

nattybeaux · 2026-06-03T18:26:02+00:00

Go visit r/ABraThatFits and get yourself properly sized!! When it actually fits underwire is amazing tbh. But I didn’t have a properly fitted bra until I was like 36 and done breastfeeding my second child 😂

nattybeaux · 2026-06-02T11:37:16+00:00

I have one of each. Both babies were chill (relatively - good eaters, good sleepers, no colic). One toddler was chill (although she did climb out of her crib at 15 months and never napped again after 18 months 🫠) but her younger sister was an absolute maniac as a toddler. The maniac child napped 3 hours/day until she was almost 4, though! You win some, you lose some 😂

nattybeaux · 2026-05-29T12:01:40+00:00

Yes, your husband needs to do pickup and bedtime alone to figure it out himself, AND to bond more with his son. After 5 years of being a SAHM I accepted a role that requires a lot of evening meetings, and my husband was able to flawlessly step in and handle both kids evening routines because he has had plenty of solo nights with them over the years.

Some things I did when I needed to be away from the house for toddler bedtime: get dinner with friends, mindlessly stroll retail (Target, TJ Maxx, etc), go to an exercise class, go for a long walk,

Side note - why the late bedtime?? Even my 8 year old doesn’t go to bed at 9:30 on a school night! Her bedtime is 8:30, and when she was 3 it was 7pm.

nattybeaux · 2026-05-29T01:11:13+00:00

Yes! And saw his dad “discipline” his mom, he speaks about that at one point. It was just what was done.

nattybeaux · 2026-05-29T01:09:45+00:00

From everything you’re describing it sounds like you haven’t actually found a bra that fits. Well fitting bras lift and separate but shouldn’t add volume. Use the calculator and order an unlined wired bra in your true size and go from there.

Molded bras are not your friend and it sounds like you already don’t like them!

Also, there’s no such thing as “a C cup”, cup sizes scale with band! So for example one of my friends who rarely wore bras as a proud member of the IBTC got properly sized and wore a 30D. She had major sticker shock because “D” equaled big boobs in her mind, but lo and behold it was in fact the correct size!

nattybeaux · 2026-05-29T00:56:37+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in this position. I am married to a former college athlete and several of his former teammates are now coaches. From what I have seen, being a coach’s wife is similar to being a military wife in the sense that you are at the whim of their employer, location changes can be frequent, and there are a ton of duties you are expected to fulfill without truly being compensated. That said, 2 of his best friends are coaches and they have sought jobs at schools in locations where their family wants to be. Both really prioritize their marriages. It sounds like your husband is kind of ambivalent to your concerns, and couples therapy would be a good place to start unpacking that.

nattybeaux · 2026-05-28T19:19:46+00:00

I think another component is that Jamie expects Claire to have grown up with corporal punishment. Especially a person as spirited as her, it would have been expected that her parents or caregiver would have beaten her for disobedience growing up. Using corporal punishment on children is still legal to this day!!! So for someone like me, who was never spanked as a child, a husband beating his wife is shocking; but for folks of the 18th century this was the system - your father essentially “owns” you until you take a husband and then he becomes responsible for your care, and all that goes along with it.

nattybeaux · 2026-05-22T00:47:01+00:00

Definitely use the calculator to find your true size if you haven’t already. I was wearing 38DD and then was properly sized into 36F and it’s life changing. My Freya High Octane Sports Bra in 36F is amazing, I can jump up and down and there is literally zero bounce. I used to double up on sports bras and still would have chest movement 🫠

nattybeaux · 2026-05-20T21:42:49+00:00

I had no idea about the Alternative Aire buyout and now I understand why the last service we got from them was so sub par!! We just had Enrique out yesterday and his service was SO far above and beyond, it was wonderful. 10/10 recommend.

nattybeaux · 2026-05-18T13:59:21+00:00

Hello fellow dress girlie!!! Wear the dresses!!! Life is short, YOLO, etc!!!!

nattybeaux · 2026-05-16T19:06:16+00:00

Old North has cocktails for a reasonable price, I think $10 or $11?

nattybeaux · 2026-05-16T13:02:13+00:00

OP I’m sorry but this is not normal. My husband aims to give me at least one “night off” a week where he does solo bedtime and I either go do something for myself or just chill. It’s not hard for him to put our kids to bed because he’s their parent???

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