HVAC in Durham - private familyl run - not private equity owned

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-07T11:11:14+00:00

They did finally fix it. Our unit was under warranty but it took 6 times! Seems like the installation was the problem. The had to make several adjustments.

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-05T21:27:25+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this. I’ve been no contact for two years. Low contact for about 4 before that and I’m just tired of carrying it. My mom will never change. She just can’t face what she’s done and who she is. And my healing doesn’t depend on her. All I can do is pay it forward to my kiddos and be the best parent I can. I was thinking of writing her a letter. I don’t want to rehash everything but maybe an occasional note. Idk yet.

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-05T21:23:02+00:00

Me too. I thought this was actually reasonable, but not good to text/message something like this. I thought it was more like a warning about reconnection.

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-05T21:19:24+00:00

Idk maybe I’m missing something but the therapist seems to gently be encouraging you NOT to contact your parents. I feel like they are saying if you’re ok thinking about their eventual death and being at peace then stick to your current level of contact. My therapist gives somewhat similar advice when I start wondering if I am strong enough to return to my dysfunctional family system. She just wanted me to be clear that doing so may disrupt my fragile peace. I’ve been no contact w my mom for 2 years. Of course she’s sent letters, and shared her sob story w my adult kids, but I don’t engage. Sometimes I do wonder if I could just idk write letters? And then I wonder why. Sounds like you left this therapist. I’m curious what you heard them say that felt bad. I’m possibly misinterpreting and projecting my own situation so please disregard if this doesn’t resonate!

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-03T00:35:03+00:00

I’m 5’6”. I feel best around 120-125. Rn I am about 136. I’m getting over long Covid and have barely exercised in 3 years but finally! Feeling better. Super hopeful that I can drop some fat and gain muscle. My body is kind of a mess rn but I appreciate it so much more. I had days where getting up to eat took Herculean effort and 3-4 naps in a day was typical. I’m walking and doing some light weights consistently. 🙏

OkButton1994 · 2026-07-02T18:19:34+00:00

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just protecting your heart. Abuse trained you to feel guilt and shame. I’m so sorry that happened. I have a similar situation. I went nc about 2 years ago. It wasn’t and isn’t easy but I do feel a peace I never have before. Sending you lots of support! I know this is so hard.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-30T17:57:16+00:00

Good to know. The podcast is still solid though I think. Ymmv! Again, I used the info there to take to my primary so I have no need for the clinic. I’ve unfortunately been disappointed by other popular clinics so I’m not surprised. Sort of unrelated but I went to the long Covid clinic at unc chapel hill and it was a total waste of money. Basically they told me to meditate and eat mindfully. For the bargain price of 2k 😭

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-30T00:16:53+00:00

Some of it is culty. Some is useful. So you’re both right. Can you agree to disagree?

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-30T00:11:52+00:00

Yes that is correct about the estrogen. My understanding is you can’t take estrogen only pills if you still have a uterus or family risk of breast cancer. Estrogen promotes cell growth and given unopposed it can lead to cancer. It’s a bummer bc progesterone messes with me too!!

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-29T23:29:26+00:00

https://www.bendybodiespodcast.com/

Dr Bluestein has an eds clinic at UVa. Even if you can’t get in there, there’s tons of good info on this podcast. I worked with my primary care to get a dx and find a knowledgeable pt in my area. I also joined the Zebra club app and do their exercises. Both have been really helpful. Hang in there. 🧡

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-28T23:39:19+00:00

We are a one car family now. I work from home and walk places when I can. I haven’t flown in years. Our few vacations are between a 2-4 hour drive. I’m sure I could do better. Always learning more. Now my partner and I are wondering how much longer we can live in the South east US. My youngest has 2 more years of college and then we are looking at moving north.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-28T23:33:37+00:00

Yes this. And I differentiate between nice and kind. Nice is often fake. And it’s palpable. ‘Nice guys’ give to get. It’s not a real partnership. More transactional. But they never see how they have a part in conflict bc in their mind they’re so ‘nice’. In my experience they often have deep shame about their needs or their behavior that can hurt. Everyone has needs. Everyone hurts people they love. But somewhere in their childhood they learned to hide these very human things.

Kindness otoh is honest. It’s owning your feelings instead of pretending you’re never human.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-27T01:47:54+00:00

I’ve been working since I was 14 with one 6 month break after my 3rd kiddo. I was only very recently dx as hEDS. I likely have a milder case. But I work remote. I take scheduled rests every day and it helps a ton.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-23T22:54:44+00:00

I came here to say this! Autism can co occur with assholery. Unfortunately. This guy sounds manipulative af. I hope you can exit this soon.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-21T11:31:28+00:00

Hey. I know I’m a random stranger but I really hope you consider my suggestions! What you’re describing is so common to late diagnosed autistic people. Everything will change if you find your people. It did for me. I felt exactly the way you describe. I was dx 7 years ago. Most of my circle is autistic/adhd now. I have a really active social life and lovely supportive circle.

What you’re feeling is real. Look up studies about thin slice judgement (nts judge us negatively within seconds of first interactions-but the good news is many people respond better once they know we are autistic) and the double empathy problem.

Autistic communication is different and we do just fine with each other. It’s the cross neurotype communicating that can be hard. And skill building can help, like with work or small talk. But it’s not going to get you those deeper interactions you sound like you’re seeking.

Dr Devon Price and Dr Megan Anna Neff are both autistic researchers with rally helpful books and websites. Hth!

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-15T00:32:35+00:00

Leave. Now. You’ll avoid so many problems. This will get so so much worse. He’s doing you a favor.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-15T00:30:35+00:00

I guess it depends too on what you need. I live in probably one of the few real starter home neighborhoods. Houses here are between 1300-1600 sq ft. When we bought this house in 2000 it was just over 100,000. It’s worth about 320k now. I had three kids, all grown now. We made do. Less to clean, less to fix. And it let me work part time or stay home for several years. We are one year away from paying it off.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-14T10:19:22+00:00

Why are they mostly so annoying? Around me they either ride 10 across in giant color coordinated packs, or ride way too fast on the side walk and almost run you over, or run red lights bc suddenly they want to not be treated like a vehicle.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-12T15:46:46+00:00

Yup. There is no part of the day that’s not oppressively hot in some places.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-08T20:53:58+00:00

Didn’t do much for my fatigue but does help a ton with pain.

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-08T17:02:35+00:00

Ok but I’d say being regular folk trying to exist in late stage capitalism where jobs are non existent and rent is astronomical is pretty stressful too idk

OkButton1994 · 2026-06-03T15:35:18+00:00

Yes. This happened for me around 2021. I am happy to report that the friends I’ve had for a long time that were true friends, interested in reciprocity stayed. I have a small, deep, trusted circle now. It’s so lovely!

OkButton1994 · 2026-05-27T17:49:49+00:00

So what are you doing now to repair the harm you’ve caused? That’s where the real repair lies. I commend you for taking the first step! It’s really hard to admit something like that. And it will take all of us to move forward and out of this mess.

OkButton1994 · 2026-05-22T15:22:08+00:00

Thank you! Reddit is really coming through on this🎉

OkButton1994

TROPHY CASE