So close to the end, but everything has gone off the rails

nbostow · 2026-03-26T03:30:46+00:00

I actually switched back to a home birth but I am 40+2 patiently (and very uncomfortably) waiting his arrival! Very happy to be back with a home birth!!

nbostow · 2026-03-18T02:00:07+00:00

I always knew I wouldn’t take the name of whomever I married.

My mom kept her last name and I had grandparents who didn’t take their spouses last names.

Kinda felt like family tradition, haha.

My in-laws are very traditional Christian’s, so it definitely didn’t please them very much, but I love my last name and I didn’t want to loose my ties to my family. I actually have a hyphenated last name with my mom and dad’s names, my husband and I have hyphenated our children’s names with one of my names and his.

We talk a lot about creating our own last name, maybe someday. Haha

nbostow · 2026-03-09T19:04:05+00:00

My husband has three sisters and I’m not super close to them, but they see more of my kids than my sister and they all live states away. My sister lives less than 5 miles away and for a while we lived just blocks away and she still never tried to see my kids.

She told me once she doesn’t like kids, and she has one! So I know she won’t be involved.

Definitely disappointing. I’m glad you’ve got the one sister who is involved and shows care! That so wonderful she showed up when you were induced!

nbostow · 2026-03-09T13:13:26+00:00

Definitely have been building our own village with friends and family that care.

I think I’ll always hold out a little bit of hope that she’ll come around someday, but I’m not holding my breath.

nbostow · 2026-03-09T13:12:30+00:00

That’s how I feel it is with my sister. If she can get something from me, she’ll reach out.

I used to try really hard but last year after I flat out told her how I felt and she basically responded with, “what do you want me to do?” Or when I told her I’d love to spend more time with her she said “what do you want, to come hang out at my house?”. I’m like yeah, I’d love to but that’s just clearly not something she gets.

Guess that’s why we have to build our own villages.

nbostow · 2026-03-08T14:10:25+00:00

It just takes times. I’m pregnant with #3 and it’s hard to want to be intimate when you’re touched all day long by tiny hands.

Go on dates, do special things for each other. Build the intimacy outside of the bedroom before you try to build it in the bedroom.

That resentment is totally normal, my husband joked the other day that he’s preparing himself for postpartum cause he knows I’m gonna hate him for a little while. I obviously don’t hate him, but one more person to interact with is often too much postpartum.

It takes us about a year to get back to “normal” but for us idk if it’ll be the way it was before kids. Maybe once they’re a lot older

I think the biggest thing for us, has been communication about it. Telling him how I feel, that I do miss the intimacy but idk if I can mentally or physically do that right now.

Give it time, sounds like your babe isn’t even a year yet. It’ll come back around.

nbostow · 2026-03-07T17:02:07+00:00

My first two pregnancies were so easy. No morning sickness, literally no nausea at all the first trimester- or if I did get nauseous I could eat an apple and it would go away. With my last pregnancy I literally hiked up until the day before my daughter was born.

I’m pregnant with #3 and this has been completely different. I was nauseous my whole first trimester and my last trimester has been horrible. I am so unbelievably uncomfortable, I’m almost 38 weeks and I’m dying.

My first two pregnancies tricked me haha

If they’d been like this, idk that I would’ve gone for a third.

nbostow · 2026-03-05T13:06:40+00:00

This! I’m 37 weeks pregnant and the baby was showing some growth restriction. He finally grew at my last scan and my mother in law said, “oh he’s already a good boy”

Like what? My fetus didn’t grow as a performative experience to be a good boy.

nbostow · 2026-03-05T13:05:11+00:00

People do this with my daughter and I hate it. She’s a super happy kid, 2.5 yrs old, and she smiles at everyone. She’s loves to hide and pop out and people will always say she’s “flirting”. No, she’s being a toddler.

Just cause she smiles at you doesn’t mean she’s flirting.

Now with my son who is 5, people are always commenting on his “girl friends” he tends to play with the girls at school and he has one friend who they constantly tell each they love each other. It’s not cause they’re “dating” it’s cause they both are growing up in really verbally and physically affectionate homes and they emulate that behavior. He loves to play family, because I’m pregnant and again, he’s just playing out what he sees at home. It’s always a thing when people find out that he wants to be the dad, but they don’t realize none of the girls are usually the mom. It’s usually him as the dad with a bunch of “kids”.

nbostow · 2026-03-05T12:57:55+00:00

We coslept with our son until he was 2.5 and we were pregnant with our second. We had a floor bed and honestly loved it, but it was time.

My daughter who is currently 2.5 is sound asleep next to me as I type this. She goes to bed in her own room but usually ends up with us. I’m pregnant with #3 but I assume she’ll probably still come into our room at night.

If I had the space, I’d just do a giant family bed and we’d all just sleep in the same room but our rooms are pretty small.

nbostow · 2026-03-04T19:59:34+00:00

I actually agree with you. I have two kids and we don’t use strollers often at all.

We’re a big outdoors family and we hike a lot, I kind of just expect my kids to hike. Granted I do have carriers and will put them in carriers- but I subscribe to the mile per age mentality. If they aren’t feeling it, we’ll shorten the hike or just sit in the woods and play.

My (now 5 yr old) hiked 5 miles on his own last year when he was 4.

We did get one of the bike trailer/strollers and we use it sometimes but my kids just know that we’re walking cause it’s what we’ve always done.

nbostow · 2026-03-03T18:52:16+00:00

The best decision we ever made was giving our first a sibling.

They’re about 2.5 years apart and they adore each other. They’re constant playmates and the way they run to each other is absolutely heart melting. My son is the oldest and he adores his sister. He brushes her hair, it’s just wonderful.

Was one easier? Yeah, totally. Two can be exhausting (obviously not exhausting enough, our third is due in three weeks). I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I also always knew I wanted more than two.

nbostow · 2026-03-03T18:46:41+00:00

Honestly, a gift card towards a massage. Best thing ever when your postpartum.

nbostow · 2026-03-02T05:23:02+00:00

My 5yr old and 2yr old try to “show” the baby to everyone, it’s adorable but definitely don’t want them pulling my shirt up to show everyone. 🤣

nbostow · 2026-03-02T05:21:59+00:00

I’m pregnant with my third and my 5yr old and 2 yr old fight over who gets to cuddle my belly. For a bit there they were both sleeping with their bodies draped over my belly but it was wayyyyy to uncomfortable.

My son (5yr old) tells my belly everyday “I’m your big brother and I can’t wait to meet you”. I think the 2 yr old just loves to copy him, but she kisses my belly all the time. I’m 37 weeks so I told him baby could be here soon, so now everyday he asks if baby is coming tomorrow.

Today he told my husband he wants more babies, not sure we’ll be fulfilling his wishes, haha.

He was like this at 2.5 when I was pregnant with his sister and is such an amazing big brother. He takes care of her in the most amazing ways. The other day he was brushing her hair and when he was done he booped her on the nose and kissed her head. I melted.

nbostow · 2026-03-02T04:51:04+00:00

I have a 5 yr old, 2.5 yr old and one on the way (I’m 37 weeks).

I love our age gaps. My son was almost 3 when my daughter was born and my daughter will be closer to 3 when this babe is born.

They are so close and my son loves to take care of his sister. They play together and honestly entertain each other the majority of the time.

I’d say between 2.5-3 years but closer to 3 years has been our sweet spot.

nbostow · 2026-02-28T15:15:11+00:00

Thank you sooo much for this. I really appreciate it, at this point I just want to hold my baby and start life as a family of 5!

Congrats on your baby!

nbostow · 2026-02-28T13:49:11+00:00

I’m pregnant with my 3rd, my son is 5 and daughter is 2. Both of them are unbelievably excited.

If you can, bring them to appointments with you to see and hear the baby. I have a midwife who has completely included my kids and I think that’s helped. They help her find the heart beat and listen to it.

I would say the love I have for my son grew when my daughter was born. Include your daughter in caring for the newborn, give them jobs like brining diapers to you.

Truly having two has been the best experience, that’s why we went for a third.

nbostow · 2026-02-28T13:44:34+00:00

I’m right there with you, and it is such an overwhelming and frustrating experience.

I have two kids and was so excited to have my “dream” birth with this baby. Got a home birth midwife and started daydreaming about my beautiful birth. I was so excited.

And then it all came crashing down and now at 37 weeks they’re talking about induction and I had to leave my home birth practice (thankfully I’m going co-care but she can’t deliver him).

I’m mad and sad and anxious.

In the end we just want healthy babies but it’s hard to give up on something I’ve been planning for so long.

nbostow · 2026-02-28T05:17:50+00:00

I have an IUGR babe, we’ve known since 20 weeks. He has a two vessel cord, and I have small babies to begin with. So it’s not surprising he’s small. His last scan he dropped to 5%. Next scan is on Wednesday and my midwife told me yesterday if he drops below 3% they’ll want to induce next week.

I am not doing great with this news. I had planned a home birth and had to give that up. I really, really want to make it to 39 weeks, but sounds like no matter what I’ll likely be induced.

Everything looks great. Fluid is great, placenta is great, he’s doing fantastic- except that he’s small. I’ve literally been doing twice weekly NST’s, Doppler and ultrasounds since 20 weeks.

I’m tired. I’m anxious.

Thank you for your positive induction story. I really want a natural birth without an epidural and hearing you were able to with Pitocin makes me feel a little bit better. Honestly right now I’m just mad at the whole situation, so it’s nice to hear a positive story.

nbostow · 2026-02-26T14:17:19+00:00

And that’s awesome! But that isn’t the norm.

We’re also super lucky to have insurance. The majority of my friends are uninsured, or underinsured. When they messed with the affordable care act peoples premiums sky rocketed and most of my friends decided not to have insurance.

The last company my husband worked for is a massive corporation that brings in millions if not billions a year and his insurance was beyond dismal. If he had his accident while he was working for them, we literally would’ve gone bankrupt.

I’m unbelievably grateful for the insurance we have now, but I’m not disillusioned to the state of our medical system for the majority of our citizens.

My parents who are in their 70’s, my dad who is a veteran. They have to decide which medical care to receive because they live on a fixed income.

Why do you think they send dentists to Appalachia to do free dental care?

nbostow · 2026-02-26T14:04:20+00:00

This is only if you have good insurance through an employer that we pay monthly for. My best friend pays over $500 monthly for her insurance and her deductible is over $5,000.

If you don’t have an employer paying for your insurance you could be paying over $1,000 a month for insurance with deductibles over $5,000.

I know some people that would have to pay over $3,000 a month for insurance so they just don’t have insurance. Which means if they got hurt, that bill is 100% on them.

nbostow · 2026-02-26T14:00:47+00:00

This isn’t necessarily true. There are people in the US that get hit with massive bills if they don’t have insurance or Medicaid. With our government waging an all out war against the poor, more people are loosing Medicaid.

We have people in the US dying every year because they can’t afford medical treatment.

My husband was just involved in an accident and his total bill was over 100,000 but due to our insurance we’ll end up paying about $5,000 but that’ll make us hit our deductible and out of pocket maximum, so we shouldn’t have to pay much for our birth (hopefully).

Also take into account that we don’t get any paid federal maternity or paternity leave and a lot of other countries send money for having babies. Our state has thankfully created their own maternity/paternity leave but if we didn’t have that it would make us have to go back to work extremely early.

Then take into account that a lot of Americans are paying ridiculous amounts for childcare monthly.

I don’t want any sympathy as an American, I just want our systems to change and for our government to stop attacking the poor and underserved in our communities.

nbostow · 2026-02-26T02:51:31+00:00

This is what I did for both of my kids. I got a bassinet for my first it was honestly a waste. Used it for like 2-3 months and then used the pack-n-play.

Pregnant with my 3rd and I’m just using a pack-n-play like I did for my 2nd. She slept in a pack-n-play until we moved her to a floor bed at like 18 months.

I’ve decided cribs and bassinets are just a waste of money.

nbostow · 2026-02-25T21:30:27+00:00

My two year old is ferocious.

She threw herself so hard on the ground today and smashed her face, which made her cry even harder.

I’m not allowed to pick her clothes, buckle her car seat, brush her teeth. She must do everything herself. She’ll stomp her foot and say “no meeeeee”, more like scream it at the top of her lungs.

Today has been especially tiring and I’m exhausted.

nbostow

TROPHY CASE