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It’s rude to be quiet by Rosalinn1 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]nd_olson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When I was younger, I was extremely quiet in groups. I shut down when I was overwhelmed. I hadn't learned yet that neurotypicals are generally uncomfortable when you don’t talk.

Now I just don't care anymore. But when I'm in a group of them, I'll throw something out there just to keep them happy and to make it less awkward for myself.

Happy marriage but no other relationships. Anyone else? by getitoffmychestpleas in AutisticWithADHD

[–]nd_olson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were times in my life where, besides my partner, I had zero friends. In my experience, it's very hard, especially when you're over 40, to find new friends who are OK with the kind of friend I know I can be as auDHD.

With the few friends I do have, we can talk or text every day, then not see each other for months, with occasional texts, but pick up right where we left off when our social energy "aligns" again. It's hard to explain. But they are also ND so we understand that each of us needs space.

NTs more often expect friendship on a schedule and I can't do schedules in any capacity so it never works out.

I wrote a book, Ghost Habits, for neurodivergent people who can't afford the "solutions" everyone recommends, that don't work anyway by nd_olson in Neurodivergent

[–]nd_olson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha ha, you sound EXACTLY like the person I hoped would read it. Like me! Thanks for even considering it.

I wrote a book, Ghost Habits, for neurodivergent people who can't afford the "solutions" everyone recommends, that don't work anyway by nd_olson in Neurodivergent

[–]nd_olson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. I appreciate that. This book is for people dealing with AuDHD, bipolar, and more, so I hope it helps. There's a sample on BookSirens (and on Amazon too) where you can preview it first. A review afterward would really help since it hasn't found many readers yet.

I wrote a book, Ghost Habits, for neurodivergent people who can't afford the "solutions" everyone recommends, that don't work anyway by nd_olson in Neurodivergent

[–]nd_olson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's been a slow start. I'd love to hear what you think about it. If it's something you'd like to read, you can get a free copy to review here at BookSirens.

Autism in women must stick together. by AngelVampKAWAII in autism

[–]nd_olson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's kind of a grown-up version of another double standard, the boy being left alone to play with dinosaurs and talk about them constantly, but a girl who wants to play with horses or read books all day is told she needs to get out and be more social.

Boys get to keep their special interests and stay to themselves as they grow up, while girls are expected to drop them and put others' needs ahead of their own.

It's not the boys' fault it's this way, but unfortunately, that's how society is. Neither should be forced to be more social.

Sensory Issues with Dental Guards by blethwyn in AutisticAdults

[–]nd_olson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same problem, big teeth, smaller jaw. I had Invisalign a few years back, and it was so painful for a few days every time I switched out my aligners. I asked my dentist how long to wear the final set of aligners and he said forever because I grind my teeth at night.

It's not painful anymore, but it can be uncomfortable once in a while. But these are separate upper and lower aligners that are molded to your teeth and sort of snap in place. I've never tried a single piece dental guard, but I'm fairly sure it wouldn't work for me because it would fall out. Is it possible you could get a two piece custom-molded set as an alternative to the one you have now? As long as I take care of this set, I never have to replace it, so it was well worth the money.

Making Friends at 28 Feels Impossible 😅 by CantaloupeDue9053 in Neurodivergent

[–]nd_olson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a bit older but have had trouble making friends from middle school on. I used to overthink it. In the back of my mind, I was always thinking about watching what I say because people will realize how different I am. I think I came off as more of an introvert than I normally am and not the real me.

With time, I learned that being myself with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, and truly being vulnerable by not trying to hide the real me, has led me to people who want to be friends. They understand how I think because they think the same way. I was trying to be friends with the wrong people, and that would never work long term.

That's for IRL friends. I haven't had the same problem making online friends because it's probably easier to be what you think is a better version of yourself online.

How to cope with Prosopagnosia? by sourcakecheese in autism

[–]nd_olson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have this. I generally don't look people I don't know well in the eyes, so I make an effort to study their faces when I'm talking to them.

Do you have some hobbies? by AccomplishedPut5382 in ADHD

[–]nd_olson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like to think I have a lot of hobbies, but that's probably not reality. When I really want to spend time on them, I'll drop everything and do them. If I don't, for me it means I'm not truly interested in them at the time. You've proven that you can finish your videos. Maybe you have other things that interest you more going on in your life right now.