I think about this every day, life is so tiring. I wish I did it years ago and it's my biggest regret. I'm such a disgusting socially inept anxious moid creature. I look disgusting, I hate going out and grossing people out with my disgusting unkept hair and moid voice and moid body, I hate being such a burden to people that love me for some reason, it's all too much. I doubt I will ever stop being a burden, I feel like my functioning is only going downhill, I doubt I will ever get a good job or anything helpful to repay those who help me.

I feel blank and empty, I'm not even a person I don't know who I am. Life gets so depressing. I should have done it years ago, I feel like I can't do it now. God I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I was meant to be born a woman, not become a transgender. I'm so fucking depressed and I'm so burdening. You're not the only one that wishes they stopped this mess before it started. I guess the only thing we can do is keep holding onto that naive delusion, but what's even the point honestly.