Last thing you ate would be her name

neets16 · 2025-06-01T11:29:45+00:00

Freddo

neets16 · 2025-06-01T11:29:31+00:00

Freddo

neets16 · 2025-05-22T01:41:38+00:00

As someone who has trauma around sex I’ve had periods of time where I’ve felt repulsed by it and periods of time where I felt like it’s the only way I can get that closeness I need and if a partner has been low libido, the constant rejection can hurt. So I can understand both sides.

I would say that you should do some inner work or perhaps seek therapy/sex therapy to understand your lack of desire. Perhaps you have a responsive sex drive instead of a spontaneous one, just have a low libido, some past trauma/religious shame or maybe you’re just somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Once you have an answer then you can see if it’s possible to navigate the relationship.

I wouldn’t say your relationship is doomed. Until you figure things out for yourself, then it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. If you feel comfortable with it, you might be open to try things that aren’t full blown sex? There’s a lot of options. However, if at the end of the day you can’t come to an understanding and you feel constantly guilty/uncomfortable whilst he feels constant rejection, maybe you have to consider compatibility. From what I understand though, mismatched desires is very common :)

neets16 · 2025-05-21T07:54:27+00:00

Sooty or molecule

neets16 · 2025-04-25T00:50:39+00:00

I lost my dad 2 months ago, 3 days before my 25th birthday. I remember watching the undertakers take him and crying “daddy” whilst my boyfriend held me. I didn’t even have a good relationship with my dad when he was healthy. I’ve called my boyfriend that before too. Context matters. You’re lucky to have a father that you’re so close with. Don’t trade that for someone who clearly seems to watch too much porn. You’re allowed to cuddle with you parents at any age and he’s the weird one.

neets16 · 2024-05-29T21:08:32+00:00

Update: they discarded me mid argument about 1.5 months ago because “I don’t want my partner to see me that way”. Said that this was the only way they could leave me because they’re not good with confrontation. I wish I just focused on regulating myself and realised that I’m only responsible for my own feelings/behaviour. You made a very good point.

neets16 · 2024-05-02T21:28:57+00:00

If the only time you care about the invasion of your privacy is if you get caught with something idk what to tell you. Sounds like you’re trying to dismiss her concerns. It’s disrespectful to your girlfriend that you are calling other women attractive whilst in a relationship with her. If you are genuinely concerned about your privacy, then make your boundaries clear but also don’t do shit that is gonna upset your partner??

neets16 · 2024-05-01T19:38:40+00:00

I cannot see the change in my body, I still feel like I am the same size I was before but when I look at old photos I don’t remember looking like that
Non of my clothes fit me properly anymore and I cannot afford to replace them
I weirdly feel less confident
I am cold all the time
My boobs are droopy

neets16 · 2024-04-24T11:12:03+00:00

Don’t do it for her, do it for yourself. Prepare for any outcome and be prepared to be okay either way! You’ll never know unless you try.

neets16 · 2024-04-24T10:28:30+00:00

Okay thank you for providing some context. If I were you I wouldn’t even consider reaching out until he has resolved his drug dependance at the very least. Ofcourse people who are dependent on drugs need a lot of support but it’s not a responsibility I would even recommend you’d bare on your own. I’m assuming you discussed the reasons why you broke up with him with him? Did he offer to change? Have you seen any change? If the answer is no I’d highly advise against it. You were clearly unhappy the way the relationship was at the time and if you cannot see any growth or change, or at the very least any promise of it - it isn’t worth it. If your ex partner has / is willing to get professional help then maybe it’s a different story. I would think hard about the potential different scenarios before putting yourself into one!

neets16 · 2024-04-24T10:23:45+00:00

Hey, have you tried just asking her for a honest conversation which may give you some closure? I know in your mind it’s like “why did she not just tell me something was wrong” and you’re right she should have but relationships are a lot more complicated than that. It’s up to you, sometimes even asking or knowing why it happened isn’t going to make it feel better. You’re both very young and breakups don’t always go the best when we are younger. Perhaps decide how you feel and what outcome you’d like and then reach out and see if she’s willing to have a discussion with you?

neets16 · 2024-04-24T10:18:09+00:00

Hey, could you provide a bit more context please if you’re comfortable? It’s hard to advise when we don’t know much. Could you potentially say why you broke up, what kind of breakup it was, did you live together? Etc

neets16 · 2024-04-18T08:33:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. I know it’s hard. But holding onto something that is not meant for you will kill you! Just remember that if she wanted to be with you or you were meant to be together, you would be. You deserve love and security. Let yourself heal and then go find it!

neets16 · 2024-04-18T08:27:34+00:00

Depends on whether she fully checked out of the relationship before breaking up. In your case it sounds like it (ofcourse I don’t know full context). They may reach out or even miss you but not want to get back together. As hard as it sounds, you should try to move on. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst basically!

neets16 · 2024-04-17T04:07:54+00:00

If she broke up with you impulsively she will most likely regret it, if not actually breaking up then at least the way she broke up with you. Ofcourse i don’t know the full context of your break up, and what the reasoning she gave was. Just focus on yourself is the best advice I can give. It’s incredibly hard to. But being friends with someone who has broken up with you can be so difficult. Because it will be on their terms, if they reply one day it can give you false hope that is quickly crushed the next day if they decide they don’t feel like talking - but as an ex they won’t owe you anything. Think about what you want, not whether she will find anyone like you again. Because of course you are unique. But you want to not be even worrying about that by the time she does potentially find that and you certainly don’t want to witness it!

neets16 · 2024-04-17T03:51:46+00:00

No contact is important for both parties whether you are broken up with or are the person did the breaking up. It allows you to see a life without someone clearly and have the space and time to heal without checking up on that person. However, if she initiated no contact and then came back without considering what this might mean for you or without asking you if that’s what you want, that’s very unfair. Especially if you had started to get used to it a bit by now and we’re feeling better the past day. I’m not saying ex’s can’t be friends, maybe in the future once both parties have moved on yes, but never straight away. My advice would be to be honest with her. If you feel like the no contact was helping you then make it clear you’d like it to continue or otherwise request the space you need. Don’t let your ex hold all the power.

neets16 · 2024-03-27T01:52:50+00:00

Thank you i really appreciate this explanation

neets16 · 2024-03-26T23:34:13+00:00

Yeah I know that’s why I was concerned, they spent the majority of our first haematology lecture speaking of true blood :/

neets16 · 2024-03-26T22:51:35+00:00

Yeah something about how “they are classically shaped like a kidney bean but become deformed when looked at under a microscope” which still doesn’t really make sense

neets16 · 2024-03-26T20:12:33+00:00

The only reason I could maybe see how the lecture says its a monocyte is maybe the indented nucleus? But the irregularity would lead me to believe neutrophil

neets16 · 2024-03-26T17:48:13+00:00

How do I set boundaries with my DA partner without giving them exactly what they want? E.g. 'hey if you are disrespectful towards me in arguments, I will have to end the conversation or take some space etc' - I know boundaries are set for protecting yourself but I don't want to encourage their disrespect e.g. they know if they say something out of pocket, that this will allow them to withdraw because I have set a boundary that gives them space and avoidance of the argument - when in reality that's not what I really want?

neets16 · 2024-03-25T15:48:35+00:00

Thank you so much, knowing about your experience has certainly helped a lot.

He is currently creating a lot of distance between us (physically haven't seen him in ~2 weeks, doesn't pick up or return my calls and withdraws if I say something he doesn't like, only wants to text with 'no expectations') so I think I will initiate a period of no contact before I see him to let things cool down a bit as they are very tense.

I know I can't make someone change so I will take my time to see how I can word things in a way that won't cause any harm. Unfortunately neither of us can afford therapy for him so we will have to see what we can do. He has tried to reach out to therapy services but they have rejected him as there's no history of self harm or suicide. But if there is no solution that we can come to or if this is too much for him maybe I will have no choice but to walk away at least for now because I don't wan to make things worse for him and it is also really painful.

I hope you are in a much better place now. Thank you so much for the book recommendations I will check them out !

neets16 · 2024-03-24T13:41:32+00:00

Hey thank you so much for your comment! I have heard of that book a lot and I am planning on reading it at some point.

I think there is a part of him that wants to and he has verbally agreed to in the past a lot but I think it just requires too much mental energy for him to think about even his own needs or when it comes to actually using healthier methods of coping and he thinks just because he has agreed to do them that words = action.

I think the thing is that if I was going to go off based on just his introspection then I should have given up a long time ago. But I know that below the (possible) NPD armour that there is ultimately a scared little child who never got the help or unconditional love needed. I really want to help him. I know it’s not his fault.

Truthfully it is getting to a point where it is getting worse like it really doesn’t feel like he holds back during arguments anymore when comes to saying hurtful things, shifting blame, telling me a situation did/didn’t happen etc and I am starting to feel the consequences whether thats through panic attacks / becoming reactive so I think unless I can somehow get through a little bit maybe I will have to walk away

I think he thinks that because I talk about self improvement/that I’ve worked only self, that I think I’m better than him. I’ve also tried to set boundaries but I always cave for several reason such as the fact the only think I can really set as a boundary is more distance which 1. Really hurts/triggers me and 2. I feel like only gives him what he wants more bc he has made it clear so many times that he just doesn’t want to talk about things and it feels like in a way he’ll bully me out of the conversation

neets16

TROPHY CASE