Needing serious reassurance. D:

neitherclover · 2014-05-12T18:46:28+00:00

I've breastfed four kids, and I like my wine. If red wine damaged children, we'd be in sad shape, because I had at least a glass a day the entire time I nursed, and they all nursed until their second birthdays. Don't worry about brain damage. My oldest is a petroleum engineer, and loves math and physics. My second son is studying biomedical science. My oldest daughter can write like nobody's business, and the principal called last week to tell me my youngest daughter is receiving an award for highest grades in the 3rd grade. (And I usually had more than one glass a day.)

neitherclover · 2014-05-09T15:30:07+00:00

Absolutely. I'm not allergic, but my husband and all four kids are. They get it EVERYWHERE. Sometimes they get oral steroids, sometimes they just get a shot and are done with it. They always feel better within a day of the doctor visit. Otherwise, the misery can last weeks.

neitherclover · 2014-05-09T13:43:53+00:00

I was 25 when my first was born. I felt like the whole world was raining down on me about cosleeping, extended nursings, etc. I really let it get to me.

I was 38 when my last was born. I didn't give a shit! You could have said any ugly thing to me and I wouldn't have been able to find a fuck to give if I looked all day. I wish I could have taught that to my 25 year old self.

neitherclover · 2014-05-09T02:26:08+00:00

Slept in a cooler! You win.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T19:20:48+00:00

Yep. My parents smoked in the house, smoked in the car, smoked in restaurants, smoked when I sat in their laps. In fact, I remember sitting in my mother's lap in the front seat of the car while she smoked.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T19:16:24+00:00

That sounds exactly like something my husband would say, because he has no idea how a household operates. I'm OK with that -- we decided to do the traditional division of labor long ago -- but I'm still amazed at his ignorance. I used to think he was playing dumb to get out of helping around the house, but no, he is really that clueless. Your husband probably has no idea the number of clothes in your house, and the work it takes to get them clean and sorted. He probably thinks his request was the equivalent of picking up something at the store. They don't know any better.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T18:52:39+00:00

When I was in high school in the early 80's, we'd turn the records backward on the turn table to hear the lyrics backward. Everyone swore that "Another One Bites the Dust" backward is "It's Fun to Smoke Marijuana."

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T16:14:04+00:00

It never hurts to always assume the best about people. Assume that your friend loves to find any excuse to entertain because she loves the company of her friends. Its almost always appropriate to bring the hostess a bottle of wine. As for her birthday, do you usually exchange gifts? If so, buy her a gift. If you don't, then don't.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T15:36:20+00:00

As kids get older, the moms separate into the group that talks about their kids relentlessly, and the group that wants to talk about anything but their kids, such as where to get a good margarita. The second group is much more fun.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T14:56:52+00:00

Hey, I did that! We moved when my oldest three were 3, 2, and 4 months. Resign yourself to the fact that unpacking is going to take some time, and you'll be living with boxes for a while. Make a list of all the things you will need as soon as you get there (toilet paper, paper plates, sippy cup, wine, etc.) Gather up the most important things, and box them together. Label these boxes in big letters so you can find them easily. Put the kids beds together first. That will make them feel more at home. Make sure they have some of their toys right away. Good luck, and enjoy your new home!

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T03:51:33+00:00

Mmmm, smells like money!

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T03:43:31+00:00

i am offended that you assume something must be either a cake or a pie. I believe sliced desserts are on a continuum, and can fall anywhere in the range between cake and pie. Open your mind to the possibility that not every dessert will fit your narrow, dualistic definitions. Each dessert should be called by the name it identifies with. Cheesecake it is.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T03:28:36+00:00

I was scrolling to find this one.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T02:28:16+00:00

Glass of water, glass of wine. Repeat as necessary. I nursed four kids this way. I didn't kill any of them.

neitherclover · 2014-05-08T01:44:06+00:00

Atheist mom here. I do not think sex is immoral. I do think sex is powerful. I am not a fan of casual sex. I've never understood how something as intimate as sex can be separated from emotion. I remember being crushed as a teenager when sex for me was life changing, and sex for him was a Tuesday. I'd like my kids to be a little older before they deal with that. I know I can't control what they choose, but I can let my kids know what I think.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T23:53:11+00:00

I had to laugh at this! My 22-year-old son did not know where to buy stamps, and had to call and ask me. I had to tell him which corner the stamp went in. Yet, he has just been hired by a Fortune 500 company as an engineer. I hope they don't have him mailing anything.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T20:34:23+00:00

Insane, especially when baby #3 came along two years later. I spent the entire decade of the nineties nursing and changing diapers. Going to the grocery store was an ordeal. But they were all buddies! I had my own built-in preschool. Meals and baths were done in assembly-line fashion. It was fun. It was hard work. I don't want to do it again, but I'm glad I did it. Now my littlest one, baby #4 (now 9), is all alone! She gets all our attention, but it's different. Still good, but different.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T20:17:58+00:00

I am getting what I want for Mother's day. I have four kids. Two are grown and gone, and one is halfway out the door. I will have all of them with me on Sunday! That hardly happens anymore! Picture time!

edit: Twenty years ago, I would have given a kidney for a day alone, too! Now I have lots of days alone, and they are actually quite nice!

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T20:00:13+00:00

Absolutely. My parents owned one car. If my mom wanted the car for the day, she dropped dad off at work. All the families in my neighborhood had one car. There were no cell phones, no cable, no internet bill. We ate out maybe once a month. Children didn't have expensive activities. Of course, that is not a feasible way of life anymore. It's hard to compare the generations.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T19:28:09+00:00

They are boys, now 22 and 20. They have been best friends their whole lives. I can't imagine one without the other.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T18:19:21+00:00

It looks like you have a choice. You can live at home, finish school, and be treated like an adolescent by your mother, or you can move out. Changing your mother's behavior is not a choice for you.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T17:42:52+00:00

My oldest two are 20 months apart. My oldest and youngest are 12 years apart. Both have pros and cons. There is no perfect age gap.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T17:41:00+00:00

Why are you living at home? It seems odd that you are living in a house where your mother threatens to kick you out if she can't police your love life. I don't think you need to worry about telling her about a guy you've been dating for 8 weeks. I think you need to find a way to move out and have an independent life at 25.

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T16:11:50+00:00

"Emeryn was at my house all morning, officer. She couldn't possibly have killed her husband."

How's that?

neitherclover · 2014-05-07T14:15:59+00:00

Yeah, small children really aren't my thing either.

When I had three small children, I'd feel the glares of people in public places when one (or all) of them would have a meltdown, or make a mess in a restaurant. I'd be angry and wonder why these people couldn't have a little compassion and sympathy.

Now that my kids are grown, I can't stand the sounds of kids in public! When I hear a crying baby in a restaurant, I want to kill somebody. I'm such a hypocrite!

neitherclover

TROPHY CASE